Coping with a Divorce or Relationship Breakup

Guide to Grieving:
Coping with a Divorce or Relationship Breakup

Allow yourself to be sad. Cry, sob, scream, if you need to. One day you will find that you feel slightly better, and the next day the feelings will diminish even more. Eventually the thought of your ex will not generate any sad feelings. Source: Surviving a BreakUp (CSULB)

In This Article:
Why does a breakup hurt so much...? How can others help?
Opportunity for growth Need to consult a professional?
Parenting, mutual friends, property... References and resources
Keeping in touch with my ex
The loss of a partner through death is an obvious source of grief, but relationships end for many other reasons, and there is often a great deal of pain involved when:

couples have grown apart
a partner has an affair
one person relocates for work
a friend moves to another state
one partner wants to marry or live together while the other does not
one has a problem (medical, financial, addiction, etc.) that the other will not abide
one person feels betrayed or is deserted by the other
the relationship has become physically or emotionally abusive
Whatever the story behind the end of the relationship, as the once-popular song says, “Breaking up is hard to do.” Even when the relationship has gone sour, and even for the person initiating the breakup, the loss is often still a tangible and painful experience.

Why does a breakup hurt so much, even when the relationship is no longer good?
“You’re better off without him.” “She’s a real heartbreaker.”

When you lose a close friend or love relationship, you are likely to feel great sorrow and heartache. But even in the end of a bad relationship, there can be deep pain and grief. There might be the sense of failure, hopelessness, loss, despair, fear, or desperation.

In many cases, the length of the relationship compounds the pain of loss – a divorce after half a lifetime together can seem like the end of the world. Partly, it depends on how much you had vested, spiritually, emotionally and financially. But even short-term relationships can involve an investment in fantasy and in hopes for the future, and their loss can be similarly heart-wrenching.

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posted by Robert Heard at 9:40 AM