THE REAL REASON RELATIONSHIPS FAIL
THE REAL REASON RELATIONSHIPS FAIL"How did we fall out of love?" "How did things go so far off the rails?" "How could we have been so much in love and now ...."
A new relationship is filled with so many wonderful qualities: hope, promise, passion, pleasure, security. What should we do when the passion starts to fade? What do we do when the hope and promise is no longer present? And when the very security of the relationship is threatened, what steps can we take to turn things around?
Well, first things first. We need to know the real reason relationships begin to go wrong and eventually go very wrong. And we need to have a very good grasp of this information. When you know THE MAJOR reason why a relationship goes off the rails, you will have in your possession a powerful tool to fix things.
Before we go any further, let me tell you what isn't the key reason:
It's NOT because you're having money problems.
It's NOT because the husband is working long hours.
It's NOT because the wife has a career.
It's NOT because "you're going in different directions".
It's NOT because your spouse no longer really pays attention to you.
It's NOT because one or both of you "need some space."
It's NOT due to less (or no) lovemaking.
All of the above may be factors, but they are not THE KEY REASON, YOU KNOW. Can you answer?
1 comment(s):
Lack of communication is the major reason relationships fail. There are several reasons for this.
First, women and men communicate in totally different ways to begin with. During conversations men usually want "just the details" without a lot of embellishment. Women, have to "set the stage" and expound on other things that were occurring at the same time the incident she is relaying was occurring. Men don't care what else was going on if it's not related to the current discussion.
Second, we women think men should just "know what I need/want." It is rare for a man to "just know" because men and women are not wired the same regarding thought processes. So, since women think men should be reading their minds. If he doesn't correctly read our mind, we tend to sulk.
Third, things that men believe will be of comfort to a woman or things men believe are indicative of a good, comfortable relationship are not what a woman is seeking. Women like to talk and interact - share feelings. Guys feel as though just being in the same room with his woman, quietly enjoying a movie or doing nothing is quality time.
Finally, some people don't communicate well because they have nothing in common. In this scenario, this should have been noted prior to the relationship becoming serious.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. It never ceases to amaze me that people will live with and marry people they would never develop a true, strong friendship with. Amazing.
Carmin Wharton, Author
Lessons Learned: While Looking for Love in All the Wrong Faces
www.carminwharton.com
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Carmin, at
9:07 PM
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