How to Have a Happy and Successful Marriage

How to Have a Happy and Successful Marriage
The Rules of Marriage as Determined by You and Your Spouse

By Scott Kessman

Many have wondered what the secret is to a happy and successful marriage. They have asked family and friends, sages and gurus. They have sought the answers in religion and romance movies, in dreams and in snatches of conversation overheard from strangers.

The simple truth is there is no universal secret. There is no standardized set of governing rules set in place to ensure a happy and successful marriage. The solid, simple truth is, your marriage is what you make it, and any rules governing marital behavior should be determined only by you and your spouse.

Of course, there are some common sense items that need to be invoked, such as open and honest communication between you and your spouse, no cheating on your spouse, etc. But these are not the rules I'm referring to in this article. The rules I intend to discuss pertain more so to the various perceptions of a proper marriage as dictated by family and friends, who all have their own views on marriage and will happily share their wisdom with you as though they were the keepers of great knowledge.

A large problem I see with the concept of marriage is the actual meaning of marriage as shared by much of the population. Too many view the ritual of marriage as a form of success and status that must be attained by a certain age, thereafter followed by children as the next logical step. Many of you have undoubtedly uttered to yourself or to acquaintances that you will soon be a certain age, so perhaps it is time to get married soon.

If that is what you think, then I'm afraid you are looking to get married for the wrong reasons. Marriage at any age should be about strengthening the bonds of love, and pledging yourself wholly to someone else who feels the same way about you. One should not be seeking marriage; one should be seeking someone to love, followed by marriage.

As you reach a certain age, you will undoubtedly feel pressure from family and friends to settle down and get married, especially if many around you have already tied the knot. Religions often promote marriage for the sole purpose of starting a family, with less emphasis on love.

Labels: marriage

posted by Robert Heard at 2:36 PM