Make your Marriage Last Forever

Make Your Marriage
Last FOREVER!




Make Your Marriage Last Forever!

Topics Covered:
10 Secrets to Achieving Marital Harmony
Money, Sex & Children: How to Avoid Life's Greatest Battles
How to Give Unconditional Love
How to Become a Better Listener
Getting Beyond "He Said/She Said"
How to Demand Respect AND Get It
How to Fight Fairly
How to Forgive AND Forget
10 Ways to Reawaken Passion
10 Secrets to a Happy Marriage
10 Ways to Recharge Your Romance
Weekend Romantic Adventure Ideas




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Make Your Marriage Last Forever!

10 Secrets to Achieving Marital Harmony

Marital harmony can be achieved in a variety of ways. Sometimes it is the little things
that maintain the peace in a relationship and sometimes it is more monumental
decisions that can either harm or help the harmony in the household. While agreement
is not always possible, it is important for the couple to realize that even during
arguments it’s possible to maintain harmony. As long as you understand that
disagreements are only temporary the harmony in your marriage will remain throughout
all types of trials and tribulations.

Being aware of your partner’s likes and dislikes is one way to achieve marital harmony.
This awareness allows you to operate in a way that keeps your partner’s preferences in
mind. If you know what your partner likes and doesn’t like you can take precautions to
not engage in an activity that will hurt your partner. Additionally, your partner will
respect your consideration of their feelings. This consideration is necessary for those
who wish to achieve marital harmony.

Sharing in the decision making process is also critical to achieving marital harmony. This
is important for a couple of reasons. First it gives the couple the opportunity to work
together to make a decision and second it helps to make them both feel involved in the
process. Also, if one person takes the responsibility of making decisions without
consulting their partner it can lead to resentment especially if the decision turns out to
be a bad one.

Another secret to achieving marital harmony is to work to balance your career and home
life. It is easy to get caught up in your job responsibilities and to begin to allow your job
to take precedence in your relationship but working hard to ensure this doesn’t happen
will be beneficial to your marriage. It’s important to realize that no job is more important
than your relationship. There may be times that you need to work late or on weekends
but try to keep these instances to a minimum.
Also, strive to not bring home your work, either physically or mentally, and allow it to
encroach on your marriage. It’s acceptable to share information about your day and
vent about any problems you may have had for a little while but going on and on about
your job will cause problems in your marriage.

Any marriage is bound to have its problems and disagreements but it’s important to not
let that problem linger. When disagreements arise, try working out an amicable
agreement but when this is not possible sometimes you just have to agree to disagree
and move on with your marriage. Remember that each morning is a new day and strive
to wake up having forgotten any arguments you may have had with your spouse on the
previous day. If you made your best effort to resolve the problem and were unable to
reach a resolution, just let it go and start the new day out harmoniously.
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Agreeing on financial matters is also key to achieving marital harmony. Money is one of
the issues that creates the most arguments in a marriage. If both partners are aware of
their current financial situation and are willing to work together to establish a budget
and stick to it, you will avoid discontent related to financial matters in the marriage.

Perhaps an important secret to achieving marital harmony that is often overlooked is
knowing your partner very well and discussing major issues before getting married. For
example if you have always wanted children, it’s best to find out your partners view on
children before getting married. Differences of opinion in an area such as this can doom
a marriage. However, if you make sure you marry someone who agrees with you about
these critical issues you will avoid having problems arise later in the marriage as these
subjects come up.

Keeping politics and other sensitive issues out of your marriage is also important to
maintaining harmony. It’s acceptable to have opposing viewpoints on issues and debate
your beliefs but allowing these issues to create a major rift it your marriage is not
acceptable. Two people can exist harmoniously in a marriage while holding opposing
viewpoints as long as they respect each other’s opinions.

Allowing each other some time to be alone can also help you achieve marital harmony.
It’s important to spend time together and share interests but sometimes too much time
together can be stifling. It is important for each partner to have interests or hobbies that
they participate in without their spouse. This time away from each other helps to
maintain harmony by giving each partner a sense of individuality.

Being respectful of your spouse is also very important to achieving marital harmony.
Couples that treat themselves and each other with respect are able to maintain a sense
of civility and accord even during disagreements. This feeling of respect will help the
couple to remain harmonious even in the most trying situations.

One last secret to achieving marital harmony is to share household chores. A couple that
divides up the responsibilities in the household and strives to help each other out
whenever possible will have an easy time maintaining harmony. Failure to do this,
however, can be very damaging to a relationship. If you have to go as far as drawing up
a list of chores and who is responsible for them, go ahead and do that. A written
document illustrating who does what around the house will make it clear if one person is
overburdened.

It is important to not confuse harmony with agreement. Couples do not have to agree
on every issue in order to have a sense of marital harmony. There are many factors that
contribute to whether or not a marriage is harmonious. Some factors may be bigger
than others, but they are all equally important in achieving marital harmony.


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Money, Sex & Children: How to Avoid Life’s Greatest Battles

Some of life’s greatest battles are over issues such as money, sex and children. While
these are issues that elicit passionate responses and feelings, it is possible to deal with
these issues without arguing. In fact not only can you avoid battles over these issues,
but these issues can also enhance your relationship. Having realistic expectations about
these issues can help you to avoid or resolve any conflicts over these issues. Money, sex
and children are the source of many problems in a relationship so it’s advisable that you
proceed with caution when these subjects arise.

Money can be a tremendous source of tension and disagreements in a relationship.
Many couples struggle with financial matters and this perpetual struggle leads to tension
in their relationship. One way to alleviate the tensions associated with financial concerns
is to make sure both partners are involved in financial matters. If both partners are
away of the amount of resources available to them and their monthly expenditures, they
will both have a better understanding of where they stand financially. This way if
problems arise, neither partner is caught off guard in this situation.
It is also important that couples share the financial decision making process especially in
regards to large purchases. Sharing in making these decisions will ensure that each
partner has the opportunity to voice their opinions or concerns and feels as though they
are working as a team with their partner. Conversely, if one partner makes a large
purchase without consulting their partner, the relationship may suffer because the
partner who was not involved in the decision begins to feel left out and hurt. When a
couple shares the financial responsibilities there is less likely to be problems that arise as
a result of finances then there are when one of the partners takes sole responsibility for
the finances.

Sex can also be a source of trouble in a relationship. Too much sex, not enough sex and
sex that is too routine are common complaints in a relationship. Some of these battles
may be avoided by scheduling sexual encounters on a regular basis. While it may sound
unromantic to do this, the truth is that with work, children and other responsibilities
sometimes there just isn’t time for sex unless it is scheduled ahead of time. Scheduling
will ensure that the couple engages in physical contact every so often instead of letting
this aspect of their relationship take a back seat to other obligations.
Boring or routine sex is another common complaint in a relationship. You can keep
things interesting by varying your routine every once in awhile and trying new things.
You can also avoid problems related to sex in your relationship by discussing your likes
and dislikes with your partner and encouraging your partner to be open with you about
their likes and dislikes as well. Sex is a healthy and necessary part of a relationship but
it can also be a source of conflict in the relationship.

Children are a blessing in a relationship but they can also be a source of many battles in
the relationship. The most important issue with children is whether or not a couple is
both interested in having children. If only one of the partners desires to have children
then introducing children into the relationship can be a recipe for disaster. If you are not
both committed to having and raising children then it is best to put off having children
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until you are both ready to be parents. If children are already a part of the relationship,
they can still cause problems. Arguments over disciplinary tactics are very common. The
couple may not agree on how to discipline their child and this disagreement can not only
be detrimental to the relationship but can also be confusing for the child. To avoid
battles over children make sure you and your partner are committed to having children
before attempting to conceive and discuss disciplinary tactics and come to an agreement
that you will both abide by in dealing with the children.

Money, sex and children are the subjects that couples argue about most often. These
volatile subjects can also be a source of great joy when managed correctly but until the
couple learns how to do this, they will continue to be explosive issues. The keys to
dealing with these issues without starting battles is to tread lightly and not force your
opinions, discuss the issues before they arrive and try to make the best of the existing
situations without constant complaints.


How to Give Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is given without any expectations, limitations or any other definitions.
In other words when you love someone unconditionally you do so without expectations
that the sentiment will be returned, without placing restrictions or conditions under
which the love will be expressed and without establishing defining parameters for when,
where or why the love is felt or expressed. There are many examples of relationships
where the love is unconditional. The love between romantic partners, parent and child,
siblings and even friends can all be examples of unconditional love. The most important
factors of unconditional love are that it is completely free of restrictions or expectations.

In giving unconditional love, it is important that you have no expectations of
reciprocation. You offer your love freely and do not demand that the feeling be
returned. Unconditional love is about you and your feelings and does not involve trying
to create the same feelings in another person. While you may hope and wish that the
feeling is returned, truly unconditional love does not hold any expectations that a mutual
feeling exists. If you hold the expectation that your love for the other person is going to
eventually be reciprocated and your love endures based on this expectation then it is
not truly unconditional love.
One example of unconditional love without any expectations is the love between a
parent and child. A parent may love their child unconditionally and while the feeling may
be reciprocated by the child, the parent’s love will endure regardless of how the child
feels. Your unconditional love exists even if the other person does not have reciprocal
feelings towards you or any intentions of ever having such feelings.

Unconditional love also exists without any restrictions or limitations under which the
feeling will remain. Truly unconditional love endures any transgression imaginable.
When you give your unconditional love, you do so knowing that the actions or words of
the other person will not result in this loving feeling being revoked. Even intentional acts
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meant to hurt you are overlooked when they are inflicted by someone with whom you
have an unconditional love. Also, unconditional love is not used to attempt to control the
actions of another. Telling someone that they will lose your love if they do things you do
not approve of is not unconditional love. Romantic partners often have a feeling of
unconditional love. When this exists in the relationship, neither partner uses their love to
control the other or threatens to revoke the love if their demands are not met.

Truly unconditional love is given without any defining parameters. When unconditional
love is given, it is done so without the understanding that the love will only endure as
long as certain conditions exist. Unconditional love exists without thought of setting
definitions or other limitations on the love surviving. Siblings are good examples of
unconditional love that exists without any definitions. While siblings may fight
throughout their lifetime there is a bond that is present always and is never challenged.
Siblings may become angry with each other but their unconditional love transcends all
boundaries and survives through countless arguments and misunderstandings.

Those who have an unconditional love for another always want the best for the one they
love and allow them to be free to seek what will truly make them happy. Unconditional
love involves wanting the best for the person you love and understanding that they need
to be free and make their own choices to achieve this level of happiness. While you may
believe that you know what is best for your loved one, it’s important to let them learn
things on their own and pursue opportunities and experiences that they believe will
make them happy. They may end up making wrong choices but if you love them
unconditionally you will always be there for them and will not judge their actions.

Unconditional love is truly free of any expectations, limitations or definitions. This is a
love that holds your loved ones best interests and happiness above all other things
including your own happiness. When you offer your love unconditionally it is important
to realize that you have no right to expect that your feelings will be returned or that
your loved one will act and speak according to guidelines you set forth.


How to Become a Better Listener

Listening is an integral part of the communication process but it is also the part that is
overlooked most frequently. Many people spend a great deal of time polishing their
speaking skills but put little or no effort into becoming a better listener. The art of
listening really isn’t very difficult and you can improve your listening skills in just a few
simple steps.

Perhaps the most important tip for being a better listener is to give the speaker your
undivided attention. Be sure to concentrate on the speakers words and resist the
temptations to tune out their message. While speaking on the phone many people
participate in other activities such as checking email, reading newspapers and other
activities that distract from the conversation. Even in a face to face situation many
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listeners zone out by either thinking about their response to the speaker or daydreaming
about something completely off topic. By allowing yourself to be distracted, you are not
listening as well as you could be. Even just a small amount of distraction could result in
you missing a critical point of the speaker’s presentation. Focusing 100% on the
speaker, however, will ensure that you are listening well and taking in all of the
pertinent information.

Part of being a good listener is making sure that everything you hear comes directly
from the speaker and not from your interpretation of their words. This means that as
the speaker is talking, listen to the words as they are being spoken instead of trying to
guess the point that the speaker is trying to make. Many people are guilty of jumping to
conclusions this way and this hurts their listening ability. People who do this often don’t
hear the speaker’s message because it is blocked out by their own assumptions. Good
listeners take in information as the words are spoken instead of thinking ahead and
forming their own conclusions.

Creating mental images of the speaker’s words is another way to become a better
listener. This visualization process allows you to really comprehend the words you are
hearing. Visualization techniques can enhance the way that people process information.
These mental images will help you to retain the information you have just heard and this
enhanced comprehension makes you a better listener.

Asking questions that relate to the speaker’s presentation can also help you to become a
better listener. It’s important to ask questions without allowing the formulation of the
questions to interfere with your listening. If you latch onto one of the speaker’s key
points and spend the rest of the conversation thinking up a question you will miss a lot
of information. However, if you ask your questions immediately when they arise, you
can have them answered in the context of the presentation without having it affect your
listening abilities. Asking questions is an important part of listening because it lets the
speaker know that you are following what he is saying and that you are interested in
learning more about the topic.

Being mindful of your body language is another way to be a good listener. Be sure to
not engage in body language that tells the speaker that you are not interested in their
words. Crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact and wincing are all ways that you can
send a message to a speaker that you are not listening carefully to them. These
mannerisms can result in the conversation being cut short because the speaker does not
feel you are interested in what they are saying.

Practicing your listening skills is another way to become a better listener. Make a
conscientious effort to apply your listening skills each time you speak to someone or
attend a presentation. You can practice your listening skills by remaining completely
focused on the conversation or presentation, not trying to guess what the speaker is
about to say, creating mental images of the spoken words and asking pertinent
questions to affirm what you have just heard. Each time you have the opportunity to
listen try to work on these elements.

While listening skills are not as widely practiced as speaking skills, they are just as
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important to a conversation. Being a good listener will not only ensure that you are
receiving information but will affirm to the speaker that you care about the information
being presented and that you understand their message.


Getting Beyond “He Said/She Said”

The term, “He said/she said” is often heard in the unfortunate case of rape. In this
situation the term applies to the fact that when there is little factual evidence on which
to base a decision the jury is left trying to determine who’s story they believe and the
case becomes one of her word against his. These cases perhaps illustrate the problems
regarding he said/she said that couples are faced with in a relationship. Beyond the fact
that in a rape case one or both of the parties may not be telling the truth, exists the
underlying problem that men and women think and process information differently.
The differences between men and women include differences in thought process,
sensitivity, memory, and communication. A successful relationship is one that recognizes
the difference between men and women and is able to get beyond the he said/she said
scenarios.

Men and women have a different thought process when it comes to solving problems.
While both sexes are capable of solving problems equally well the thought process
involved in coming to a resolution varies between men and women. For men a problem
is an opportunity for them to demonstrate their problem solving skills in a quick and
efficient manner. Men see having the problem solved as the ultimate goal and they
believe that the best solution is the one that is quickest and most efficient.
Women on the other hand see a problem as an opportunity to work together and reach
a resolution. Women relish the chance to communicate about the problem and the act
of working together to solve the problem is more important than actually solving the
problem. Women may feel closer to their partner, even if the problem still exists, if she
feels that the resolution process drew them closer together. Understanding that women
and men view the problem solving process differently will help a relationship to prosper.

Sensitivity is another area where men and women differ. Women have a heightened
sense of sensitivity relative to men. This heightened sensitivity results in women being
more prone to act on their emotions rather than on rational thought. A woman’s
sensitivity allows her to understand her own feelings as well as those of others better so
her reactions tend to take feelings into consideration above logic.
However, men do not have the same level of sensitivity and therefore are more likely to
make their decisions based solely on logic and not take feelings and emotions into
consideration. This disparity can result in problems during a relationship because the
woman assumes that the man intentionally tried to hurt their feelings if they make a
decision that has this effect while the man may grow frustrated if he believes the
woman made an irrational decision. Realizing that this difference exists will help a
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couple go get beyond he said/she said.

Men and Women also differ in terms of memory. Men have a memory that is stronger in
situations where they can recall the details of an event by making an association with
something concrete such as a location or item. For example men are more apt to
remember an event that took place in a location that they are able to visualize well.
Women on the other hand have a memory that is stronger when they are able to
associate the emotions felt with that memory to other memories where they had similar
emotions. This type of memory is especially problematic because when I women
becomes angry with her partner, she is often able to recall other situations where he
has angered her. Unless the difference in memory is recognized it can become a source
of frustration in a relationship when the man and woman don’t understand why their
partner doesn’t remember something that is so vivid to them.

Men and Women also often have different communication styles which can complicate a
relationship. Men tend to be more introspective about their problems and choose to deal
with them internally and without discussing them with their partner. When they do
decide to discuss a problem it’s usually after much thought and careful consideration.
Women on the other hand enjoy conversing about their problems with their partner and
believe that doing so helps them to understand their problem better and come to a
solution more easily. Women often use communication as a method for reaching a
conclusion. They view the discussion as a way to figure out a solution. The he said/she
said aspects of communications must be understood to avoid frustration and
disappointment in a relationship.

Men and women have different styles when it comes to problem solving, sensitivity,
memory and communication in a relationship. Careful observance and understanding of
these differences is necessary for a relationship to flourish. Understanding these he
said/she said principals and being willing to get beyond them will help to minimize
difficulties in a relationship in regards to gender differences.


How to Demand Respect AND Get It

Respect, as it applies to people, is defined as a feeling of esteem for a person. This
feeling is generally a result of a person’s achievements. While all people deserve
respect, it is an unfortunate fact that many people do not receive the respect that they
deserve. There are several ways however that you can put yourself in a situation where
you will begin to receive the respect that you deserve.
In general the keys to demanding respect and getting it are treating others with respect,
treating yourself with respect, conveying a sense of confidence, not being afraid to
make decisions and dressing appropriately. These key factors will help you to gain the
respect you deserve.
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If you expect others to treat you with respect, one of the first steps you must take is to
begin treating others with respect if you aren’t already doing so. If you have a
disrespectful attitude towards others it will be difficult for them to feel respectful
towards you. Treating others with respect demonstrates that you are worthy of respect
yourself because it shows that you are capable of holding others in esteem. If you do
not give others their due respect, many people will see you as a person who is not
compassionate of others and not willing to understand the value of others.
Many bosses will try to demand respect by being authoritative with their subordinates.
While authority is a characteristic that commands respect, this is often taken too far and
if the boss does not recognize the employees achievements the employee will most
likely be resentful of the boss and not feel respectful towards him. On the other hand a
boss that maintains an authoritative air while also being supportive of his employees and
willing to listen to their ideas will gain the respect of his employees.

Treating yourself with respect is another key element to receiving respect from others.
Self respect is seeing yourself for your innate worth and acting accordingly by treating
yourself with esteem. It’s important to treat others with respect but by the same token
you must also treat yourself with respect. While self-deprecating humor may be your
way of coping with your perceived inadequacies this type of behavior demonstrates to
other that you do not feel you are truly worthy of their respect. In order to gain the
respect of others you must first treat yourself with respect.

Confidence also inspires a sense of respect. Being confident, without being arrogant, is a
sign that you know your abilities and past performances are worthy of respect. Knowing
that you are a highly capable person and not being afraid to let others know this is
another way to demand respect and get it. Exercise caution with using confidence to
command respect though. Over confidence may have the reverse effect and result in
you not receiving respect. Knowing your abilities and being confident in yourself will go
a long way in ensuring that you earn the respect of those around you.

Decision making is another aspect that could be a determining factor in whether or not
those around you respect you. This goes along with confidence in that if you are sure of
yourself you will not hesitate to make the right decisions in any situation. An ability to
make decisions without wavering or being unsure of yourself will inspire confidence in
those around you. While it’s important to seek advice and counsel from others, if you
are in charge of a situation the decision is ultimately yours to make. If you make valid
decisions without showing signs of doubt you will be respected for your ability to take a
stand and act on what you believe is right.

Dressing the part is also very important in earning the respect of others. While casual
clothing may be acceptable in many work places you will find that those who are in a
position of authority and command respect often dress less casually than those who are
not well respected. While your clothes are not an accurate indication of your abilities
others around you may jump to conclusions based on your appearance. While this is a
sad fact of life, it’s important to acknowledge that this does exist in society and take
care to always convey a professional appearance. Doing so will help you to earn the
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respect of your friends and colleagues as well as your employer.

Perhaps the most important factor to understand about respect is that, in most cases, it
is not given automatically by others but that it must be earned. You can earn the
respect you deserve by treating yourself and others with respect, being confident and
unafraid to make important decisions and dressing in a way that shows that you have
respect for yourself. All of these aspects will help to ensure that you are not only
demanding respect but also getting it.


How to Fight Fairly

In any relationship worth having conflict is bound to arise. The true test of the
relationship is whether or not you feel that it is worthwhile to resolve these conflicts and
if you are able to do so in a fair and objective way. Key elements to fighting fairly
include sticking to the issue at hand, being open to listening to the other person, not
involving others in the fight, not bringing up old issues and finally being willing to accept
responsibility and let it go when the fight is over.

It’s important to know what you are fighting over and to stick to that issue in the
argument. If you allow things to build up over time and then explode with many
grievances at once neither you nor the person you are fighting with will have a clear
understanding of what the issue is or why you are fighting. It is important to address
each issue as they arise to alleviate resentment and fighting that does not have a clear
focus. Sticking to one specific issue in a fight is the fair way to fight and it’s also the
most successful way to fight. If both parties involved have a clear understanding of why
they are fighting you are much more likely to reach a mutually amicable resolution.

Listening is a very important component of fighting fairly. It is imperative to allow the
other person to offer their side of the argument. Fighting without listening will not be
effective because it does not allow you to be open to the other person’s opinions and
justifications. The other person may have a very valid reason for their actions but if you
are only interested in what you have to say and are unwilling to listen you will not hear
their point of view. Another aspect of listening is to really understand what the other
person is saying. It’s very easy to not hear the intent of a person’s message. In a fight
you want to actively clarify the other person’s statements and give them the opportunity
to affirm or negate your interpretation of their argument. Listening attentively and
understanding the other person’s argument is a very effective and fair way to fight.

Bringing others into a fight is not a fair way to fight. It is important that the fight take
place between those directly involved and that neither party elicits the help of friends or
family members to validate their position. It doesn’t matter how many other people
agree with you, that does not necessarily make you right, so don’t involve others in your
fight. This is not only not fair to your partner but it is also not fair to those who are
dragged into the argument. While you may have many people who agree with you and
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believe you are right, bringing them into the fight just isn’t fair and also isn’t effective.

In a fair fight it is also important to not bring up old issues. A fair fight will remain
focused and bringing up the past distracts from the current issues and also sends the
message that the past has not been forgotten. If you partner feels that you are bringing
up old issues, he may begin to feel as if the current fight is not worth fighting because it
will not be forgotten. If you convey the message that you are not willing to forgive and
forget you are not fighting fairly because your partner will feel as though the argument
is no longer worthwhile. Also, bringing up old issues is not fair because they are not
relevant to the current fight. A fair fight is clearly focused on a current conflict without
dredging up old issues.

Another key tactic for fighting fairly is to be willing to accept responsibilities for your
own actions and be willing to reach a resolution and move on from the argument. Those
who fight fairly are prepared to concede the fact that they may lose the argument.
Losing the argument means either that you admit that you were solely to blame in the
situation or that you are unable to convince the other person of your argument. What is
important in a fair fight is not who is right or who is wrong but that the couple is able to
reach an amicable agreement and that they are both able to progress and leave the
fight in the past.

Fighting fairly is crucial in a healthy relationship. Disagreements are natural and
resolving them in a fair way is imperative to a thriving relationship. Not fighting fairly is
indicative of a relationship that is not healthy. A fair fight however incorporates the key
elements of focus, listening and resolution without involving third parties in the fight. A
fair fight is also left in the past after resolution. Fair fighting leads to resolution in most
cases.


How to Forgive AND Forget

We have heard the saying many times that, “It’s easier to forgive than to forget,” but
the truth is that unless you are capable of forgetting you never really forgive.
Forgiveness is the act of excusing someone for their offense but unless you are also
willing to forget their transgression you aren’t truly forgiving them. Refusing to forget a
wrong action against you results in a lingering grudge between you and the other
person. Although you may have told them that you have forgiven them, the memory of
their actions remains with you and creates a prejudice towards them that results in a
lack of trust in the future. True forgiveness involves both forgiving and forgetting and
this can be achieved by understanding your own feelings as well as those of the person
who wronged you, expressing your feelings in a rational matter, realizing that your
relationship is more important than being right and finally accepting your partner’s
apology.

You may have been wronged in a situation and your feelings of anger may be
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completely justified but it’s important to truly understand your feelings in order to
forgive and forget. It is imperative that you realize that the actions of the other person
may have hurt you or made you angry but that reacting in a hostile manner as a result
of these feelings is not beneficial to your relationship. While your feelings of hurt of
anger may be justified, taking the time to work through these emotions before offering
forgiveness will help you to forget your partner’s words or actions. If you rush to offer
forgiveness before you have had the opportunity to vent your own frustrations it will be
difficult for you to forget your partner’s wrongdoing.
You also need to understand the feelings of the person who offended you. It is also
important to speak to your partner about why they committed the offense against you.
It is not fair to them to make assumptions about why they acted the way they did.
Giving them the chance to express their side of the situation will give you a better
understand of why they acted the way they did. You may learn that everything was a
misunderstanding or that you were not hurt intentionally. Allowing the other person a
chance to offer their take on the situation will enable you to see their motives.
Understanding your own emotions as well as your partner’s will help you to really forgive
and forget.

Dealing with your own emotions in a calm and rational manner is also crucial to
forgiving and forgetting. Your partner may be wrong and you may be completely
justified in your feelings of anger but it’s important that you not act strictly on emotion
in this situation. Acting and speaking out of anger can elevate the tension in the
situation and deter the forgiveness process. Give yourself a little time to manage your
own feelings and collect your thoughts so that when you approach your partner you are
able to speak about your feelings in a rational manner. It’s best to wait until both you
and your partner are ready to speak about the conflict in a calm and rational manner. If
you are truly interested in forgiving and forgetting when you have been wronged, wait
until both parties have calmed down to ensure that neither one speaks out of anger and
destroys the chance for true forgiveness.

A crucial aspect of forgiving and forgetting is valuing your relationship more than you
value being right in an argument. While you may be completely right in a situation,
being right is not worth destroying the relationship over. If you are able to put your love
for your partner ahead of the vindication of being right you will be more willing to
forgive and forget. Also, forgiving and forgetting will allow your relationship to continue
to flourish because working through conflicts makes a relationship stronger.

Finally you can never really forgive and forget unless you are truly willing to accept your
partner’s apology. Harboring feelings that the apology isn’t genuine will damage the
relationship because you will never forget their offending action. Listen sincerely to your
partner’s apology and have faith in them that there apology is heartfelt and genuine.
Then let them know that you accept their apology and are willing to not let this situation
interfere with your future interactions.


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True forgiveness involves not only excusing the transgression but also effectively
forgetting it as well. You can not truly forgive someone if you don’t also agree to forget
the offense. Refusing to forget indicates a lack of trust in your partner to not repeat the
offense. While deciding to forgive and forget is a personal matter a few suggestions for
doing so are to understand your feelings as well as the feelings of your partner, taking
the time to rationalize your emotions before you act on them, valuing your relationship
enough to truly forgive and accepting your partner’s apology with an open heart.


10 Ways to Reawaken Passion

If your relationship is starting to lose its passion you may need to make a conscious
effort to re-ignite the spark in your relationship and reawaken the passion. Sometimes it
may take elaborate plans and gestures to reawaken the passion in your relationship and
sometimes it may just be small seemingly insignificant things that can help you to
reawaken the passion in your relationship.

Planning a romantic weekend getaway can be one way to reawaken passion. A trip to a
spa or a romantic destination can help to put the passion back in your relationship. This
type of trip gives a couple the opportunity to step away from their everyday lives and
spend some time focusing on romance.

Treating your partner with respect can also be a simple way to reawaken passion.
Sometimes people get in the habit of taking their partner for granted while they
continue to treat complete strangers and casual acquaintances with respect. People tend
to work harder on casual relationship than they do on their romantic relationship
because they take their partner for granted. Making an effort to impress your partner,
however, can help to revive the passion.

Doing something new and adventurous can also help to reawaken the passion in your
relationship. Try an activity that you have never done before such as skydiving or water
skiing. Participating in an adventurous sport can make you feel more alive and this will
transcend into your relationship and reawaken the passion.

Holding hands is another way to reawaken the passion in your relationship. This simple
act draws you and your partner closer together. Most couples hold hands all the time
early in their relationship but as time goes by they begin to do so less and less often.
Grabbing your partners hand and holding on while you run errands can make your
partner feel desired again and this will help put the passion back in your relationship.

Another way to reawaken the passion in your relationship is to plan date nights. Spend
some time getting dressed up and plan a night out on the town. Putting this level of
effort into a dinner date makes it feel much more special and romantic plus it gives you
a chance to let your partner know that you are still interested in spending time with
them. No mater how busy your week is, plan to have at least one night a week where
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the two of your connect in a special way. Even if it’s just some quiet time at home after
the kids go to bed or even a family game night with the kids, it will give you time to
bond.

Taking care in your own appearance is still another way to reawaken the passion in your
relationship. If you feel good about yourself, you will be more appealing to your partner.
Spend a few extra minutes getting ready to go out and really pamper yourself. This will
give you a confidence boost that can help bring the passion back to your relationship.

Complimenting your partner can also help to reawaken passion. Noticing when your
partner puts extra effort into their appearance lets them know that you still find them
desirable and attractive. Even complimenting them when they aren’t all dressed up, lets
them know that you love them for who they are and not just their appearance.

Even just planning trips that you would like to take in the future can reawaken passion.
Spend an afternoon thinking of trips you would like to take together and make a list of
all the places you want to go and all the things you want to do. This type of
daydreaming draws a couple closer together and can revive passion.

Spending some quiet time together daily can be another way to reawaken passion. Plan
on having at least a few minutes alone with your partner each day to help put the spark
back into your relationship. Taking time to reconnect daily can help keep the passion in
your relationship.

Taking a bath together can also help to reawaken passion in a relationship. This is a
very sensual activity that makes you both feel pampered and gives you the opportunity
to reconnect on a physical level. Beyond that it can also give you a chance to relax and
unwind after a hard day of work and sometimes it’s the stresses of everyday life that are
putting a damper on passion.

If your relationship is starting to lose its passion it doesn’t mean the relationship is over.
All of these examples are simple ways that a couple can reawaken the passion in their
relationship. As long as the love still exists, it is possible to bring back the passion.


10 Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Having a happy marriage doesn’t necessarily come easily just because you love each
other. While love is very important in a marriage sometimes it just isn’t enough and you
have to work at your marriage just like any other relationship. Open communication and
careful consideration of each others feelings are two of the emotional aspects that are
key to a happy marriage. Even more mundane details such a household responsibilities
and financial understanding can factor into the state of the marriage. It is imperative to
understand that a marriage is a multi-faceted relationship that needs to be nurtured in
all of its capacities in order to be successful.
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Being willing to make sacrifices is one secret to a happy marriage. Both partners in the
marriage must be prepared to put their partner’s happiness ahead of their own from
time to time for the marriage to truly work. If either partner is completely self centered
and unwilling to make sacrifices it will create resentment in the marriage. At times the
sacrifices may be big but most often it’s the smaller things that matter most. Even
preparing a dish that you don’t like but that you know your spouse likes lets your
partner know that you care and are willing to put their happiness first at times.

While making sacrifices is important in a happy marriage, it is also important to
sometimes do things that are just for you. It’s great to have a lot of common interests
but it’s also essential to have some things that you enjoy doing on your own. Having
some separate activities gives you a little time away from your partner once in awhile
and gives you a chance realize how much you miss them when you are apart. It also
gives you an opportunity to explore things on your own and prevents boredom in the
relationship.

Another secret to a happy marriage is to maintain an intimate and affectionate
relationship. Sharing physical closeness will keep your marriage happy. Even small
gestures such as hugs or holding hands give you the opportunity to reconnect with your
spouse on a daily basis.

Finances can cause a great deal of stress in a marriage so it is important to do your best
to ensure that you do not allow your financial situation to destroy your marriage. When
financial concerns arise it is important to discuss the problems so that both partners are
aware of what is going on and to work on establishing a budget together. Working
together on this issue will make sure that neither partner feels left out of the decision
making process and neither partner bears the stress of worrying about finances on their
own.

Sharing household responsibilities is another secret to a happy marriage. If either
partner feels as though they are taking on too much responsibility in the household it
can lead to resentment. Not only does sharing these responsibilities prevent resentment
but it also gives the couple an opportunity to work as a team which strengthens their
bond. Both partners need to take an active role in completing household chores and let
their partner know if they are beginning to feel overburdened.

Open and honest communication is also necessary for a happy marriage. Without
communication the relationship will continually struggle. It’s important to be honest with
your partner and share your concern and to listen to what your partner has to say and
make an effort to understand their point of view. Communicating about problems and
concerns is important but it’s also important to communicate about your aspirations and
even your daily lives. All of these types of communication bring a couple closer together
and foster a happy marriage.

Along the lines of open communication, it’s also important that you let your partner
know if they have said or done some thing to hurt you. Failure to do so will allow the
problem to continue to cause problems in the marriage. If you bottle up your feelings
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your partner will be unaware of what they have done to hurt you and may be likely to
repeat their actions. You also may begin to avoid your partner because you are angry
and you don’t want to start a confrontation. Your partner in turn may sense you
behaving differently and be annoyed by your behavior. Simply coming out and telling
your partner why you are upset can help you avoid this unnecessary host of problems.

Understanding that you and your partner won’t always be in complete agreement is also
critical to a happy marriage. While you may agree on a lot of things it’s unrealistic to
believe that you and your partner will be in sync at all times. Its okay to disagree
sometimes as long as you respect each other’s feelings and beliefs and do not think that
any one disagreement will be the end of the relationship.

Spontaneity is also an important part of a happy marriage. Allowing yourselves to fall
into a predictable pattern can lead to boredom but being spontaneous at times will
prevent boredom from setting in and keep the relationship interesting.

Finally, remembering why you married your spouse is one of the most important secrets
of a happy marriage. Always remembering what it is about your partner that drew you
to them will make certain that you never forget your love for your partner. It will also
ensure that they are always beautiful in your eyes. Many things may change throughout
the course of your marriage but the one thing that will always remain is the reason you
fell in love in the first place.

A happy marriage is not guaranteed no matter how much the partners love each other.
There are so many variables that can have an affect on the happiness and success of
the marriage. It is important that both partners realize that they must continuously work
on all of these aspects if they want their marriage to remain a happy and healthy
relationship.


10 Ways to Recharge Your Romance

Early in a relationship the romance factor is very high. The romance is seemingly
effortless and it seems as though the romance will never fade. You may find, however,
that over time the romance does fade and the relationship doesn’t seem as exciting as it
did in the beginning. This is natural as a couple becomes more familiar with each other
they begin to make less of an effort in the romance department. When this happens it is
time for the couple to start making a conscious effort to recharge their romance.

Recreating your first date can be one way to recharge your romance. Both partners
probably put a tremendous amount of effort into their first date and it was probably an
incredibly romantic night for both of you. Reenacting this first date by not only returning
to the sight of the first date but also putting the same effort into preparing for the date
can help to recharge your romance by reminding you of how exciting your relationship
was in the beginning.

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Leaving your work at the office is another way to recharge your romance. If you are
constantly allowing your work life to interfere with your romantic life it is time to put
your romance ahead of your career. While it is okay to talk to your partner about work
and how your day went, obsessing over work is not acceptable and can put out the fire
in your romance rather quickly.

Giving your partners flowers or small gifts for no reason can also recharge your
romance. This lets them know that you still think about them when the two of you are
apart and that your love for them is always on your mind. The gifts don’t have to be
expensive or extravagant but if they truly come from the heart they will help to recharge
your romance.

Another way to recharge your romance is to be spontaneous. Romance often fades
when a relationship becomes routine and the partners begin to take each other for
granted. Spicing things up by suggesting new activities on a whim can reintroduce the
romance in your relationship. Too much planning and debate about what to do or where
to go can put a damper on the activity or trip before it even takes place. Excessive
planning can make something seem dull while spontaneity has the opposite affect of
making the activity seem more exciting.

Spending time apart can also recharge a romance. It may sound counterproductive but
having your own activities and interests keeps you from becoming bored with your
partner. Spending time together is very important but spending time apart is equally
important because this time apart gives you the chance to grow as an individual which
can enhance your relationship.

Quality time together, just like time apart, can also help to recharge your romance. You
need alone time as a couple to reconnect and nurture your romance. A night out on the
town for just the two of your or a quiet night alone at home can be equally effective for
recharging your romance. Without this time together a couple will not have the
opportunity to express themselves to their partner in a romantic way.

Incessant arguing can destroy the romance in a relationship. If you find that you and
your partner are arguing constantly or over every little thing, it’s time to really evaluate
the relationship and figure out why you are arguing so much. Believe it or not, you may
find that this arguing is a subconscious attempt to try to recharge your romance.
Arguing invokes passion and you may be trying to bring that passion into your
relationship. If you find yourself doing this, it’s time to realize that the arguing is having
the opposite effect and that you have to stop this unhealthy pattern. Once you realize
that there are other ways to recharge a romance your arguing will subside.

Making a concerted effort to impress your partner can also recharge the romance in a
relationship. As a relationship progresses there is often a sense of familiarity and
comfort that emerges and results in the couple feeling as if they no longer need to try to
impress their partner. They may begin to let their appearance go or stop going out of
their way to please their partner. Reversing this by returning to your old ways of trying
to impress your partner can go a long way in recharging romance in a relationship.

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Taking a trip together can also have the effect of recharging your romance. While
planning a trip may be stressful most people relax and enjoy themselves once they
reach their destination. Planning a trip with your partner will give each other the
opportunity to enjoy each other’s company without the worries and hassles of everyday
life.

Turning off the computer for a few days can be a really simple way to recharge your
romance. Many couples use their computers often to check email, search the Internet or
chat with others and this time spent on the computer can really add up and begin to
take time away from your partner. Time can fly when you are computing and you may
find that you have wasted an entire night on your computer. You may find that if you
turn the computer off for a few days, you have a lot more time to spend with your
partner and the romance may naturally return to your relationship.

It is natural for romance to begin to fade if the partners begin to take each other for
granted and stop trying to impress each other. Romance doesn’t exist on its own; it
needs to be nurtured in a loving way in order to survive. Recharging your romance may
seem like a daunting task but it really isn’t. Making an effort to spend time together,
showing your partner that you care and scheduling time together and apart are all
simple ways to recharge your romance.


Weekend Romantic Adventure Ideas

Sometimes a weekend getaway is just what a couple needs to reestablish their
relationship and make a new connection. Making this weekend getaway a romantic
adventure can further enhance the benefits of the getaway. Engaging in adventurous
activity can have the affect of drawing the couple closer together. Try finding an activity
that is new to both of you and you will be able to bond while tackling new challenges
and adventures. A romantic adventure may include exploring a new location, enjoying
the outdoors or taking flight in a hot air balloon or glider. Whatever option you choose,
a romantic adventure is sure to rejuvenate your relationship.

Travel can be a romantic and adventurous way for a couple to get away for the
weekend and put some spark back into their relationship. Exploring new locations
whether they are exotic or domestic allows a couple an opportunity to learn and
discover together. If you live relatively close to another country you may have the
chance to visit another country for the weekend and learn about different cultures,
foods and people. If exploring a new country is not possible, do not be deterred.
Exploring a new city can be just as fun. There may be many cities close by that you and
your partner have either never visited or visited only briefly. Even spending a day or two
in a new city can be an enlightening adventure. If you truly immerse yourself in a
nearby city and take the opportunity to visit local restaurants and shops you are bound
to notice that although the city may be very near in proximity to your own city, it has its
own vibe about it. The culture of a city is driven by its residents so visiting a new area is
often a chance for you and your partner to enjoy a new adventure together. Travel,
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whether it is domestic or international is a wonderful opportunity for a couple to enjoy a
romantic weekend adventure.

Enjoying the outdoors is another way for a couple to share a weekend romantic
adventure. Taking a backpacking trip is an excellent way for a couple to reconnect.
While spending a few nights in isolation in the wilderness without distractions such as
televisions and restaurants a couple really has an opportunity to talk and catch up on
their relationship. All too often a couple falls into a rut of eating out and then returning
home to watch television and go to bed but a backpacking trip may be just what a
couple needs to put the spark back in their relationship. Backpacking allows a couple the
opportunity to work together to prepare their meals using simplistic equipment and to
have only each other to occupy their time is an excellent weekend romantic adventure
idea. While backpacking may be a simple activity, the adventuresome and romantic
aspects exist making this activity and excellent weekend getaway activity for a couple.

Doing something completely new to both of you such as a hot air balloon or glider ride
can also be an excellent weekend romantic adventure idea for a couple. These activities
can often be done right in your own city and give you the opportunity to view your city
from a completely different perspective. From a high elevation, you have the opportunity
to look down on your city and realize how truly small it is. While you may spend your
days running errands and scurrying from place to place, viewing your hometown from
such a high elevation gives you a new perspective on things. Additionally, these
activities can induce a sense of fear which may bring you and your partner together.
While the activity may be completely safe, the fear of the unknown can have the affect
of drawing you and your partner closer together. A hot air balloon or glider ride is one
way for a couple to enjoy a weekend romantic adventure that doesn’t have to take up
their entire weekend but will draw them closer together and will give them a new
perspective on their approach to life.

There are many weekend romantic adventure ideas that can draw a couple closer
together. The idea of this type of adventure is to find a new activity that both of you will
enjoy. The excitement of engaging in a new activity coupled with the closeness that you
gain from spending time together is the recipe for a successful weekend romantic
adventure idea.

For a full range of marriage and relationship advice, please feel free to visit our
www.make-your-relationship-last.com site.

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Labels: help for marriages

posted by Robert Heard at 7:11 AM