Marriage counseling - Is Talking To A Marriage Counselor Worth The Cost?

Marriage counseling can help with the breaking up so as not to draw out the pain couples are feeling. Breaking up is one of the hardest things for couples to do, after all, they both used to be in love and its hard for both parties involved to acknowledge that the good times are over. There is also the fear of the unknown and what will happen "next". So how should you break up to make it as clean a break as possible?
Give it time
Quite often external influencing factors, such as work, will force one partner to change their behavior, making them unbearable to live with. If this happens and you feel the best solution is to split up, then the best thing is to recognise that your partner has changed because of an outside factor. Therefore, the best approach is to stay in touch and try to be as polite and friendly as possible (via email, occasional phone calls etc). This is because the external circumstances are likely to change again and so you should not burn your bridges.
Step Back
If you have tried all other avenues and the last possible option left is for you to break up, then the best approach is for you to start taking a step back from the relationship. This will enable you to gain emotional and physical distance, preparing you for the actual breaking up. But, try to use this time to evaluate as whether breaking up is really what you want to do.
Don't make excuses
Don't be tempted to make excuses for the breaking up. The problem with excuses is that sooner or later they will back fire and you will feel even worse. Its yet another worry on top of the actual breaking up, and also, your partner will inevitably start to think there are other reasons for the breaking up. This will not enable your partner to make a clean break as they would always feel that they are entitled to know the truth, for closure purposes if nothing else. You'd probably find they would be contacting you with any excuse, often sub-consciously.
Avoid blame
If there is absolutely no other options left other than breaking up, try to be tactful. "Not making excuses" does not mean you have to rip your partner's heart out and step on it! By blaming your partner, even if they are at fault, you will just cause an unnecessary row and bad feeling between you. After all, you are going to break up anyway, so why do it with bad feelings? You will only create an enemy for yourself.
Understanding your moods and behaviour, marriage counseling and making up can help you to avoid the crisis you are faced with.

Labels: marriage counseling

posted by Robert Heard at 8:15 AM