New Study Shows Secret To Marital Bliss

New Study Shows Secret To Marital Bliss

(CBS) If you want a relationship to last, don't meet your partner in a bar, find an intellectual bond and - for men - delay having sex when you're young.

Those were some of the findings of an investigation on mid-life happiness, called the Boston Couples Study, conducted by Professor Charles Hill of Whittier College, and fellow colleagues.

The survey asked 231 couples, as well as 100 "singles," about what made them happy. Taken from a random sampling of sophomores and juniors at colleges in the Boston area, the participants were quizzed again after two, 15 and 25 years.

The results showed the secrets to middle-aged marital bliss - high self-esteem and a good relationship, as well as some revealing findings on how to secure that relationship.

"I would tell the men to delay having sex," Hill told reporters at the British Psychological Society's European Congress, where the survey was presented on Monday.

He said his research showed men who postponed having sex while at college found a partner on the basis of emotional attachment and common interest, as opposed to treating a woman as "one more notch on the bedpost."

Ironically it was those women were relatively liberal about having sex before marriage 25 years ago who were able to find their long-term partners.

Bars were one place not to meet your perfect long-term partner, the survey found.

"If you are looking for a mate for life then you should look where your common interests are," Hill said. "If alcohol is the only thing you have in common, then what do you talk about in the morning?"

The best and longest-lasting relationships tended to be formed on the basis of common interests, intellectual compatibility and the two partners being of similar physical attractiveness.

They often occurred when the two people involved were not looking for a relationship.

"In the informal settings people can be themselves, rather than just putting on airs and graces," Hill said.

Labels: New Study Shows Secret To Marital Bliss

posted by Robert Heard at 7:46 AM