I`m a 24yr old mother of three who for the past 19 years have been tortured by the visions of my 4th birthday

Hi,

I`m a 24yr old mother of three who for the past 19 years have been tortured by the visions of my 4th birthday, I came from a big family with abusive alcoholic parents who would leave us to fend for ourselves but hey it was my birthday I had a new dress,new shoes and I felt good for once....a friend of the family was saying all day how lovely the dress looked on me and I went out to play while my father went out for more drink and my mother finished the vodka she had hidden while he was away well...she passed out on the sofa but I was used to that and the `friend` asked me if I wanted to see his newpuppy, I loved animals so ofcourse I went along with him, he took me to a flat straight across from my home locked the door and raped me I can still remember the colour of the lightshade which I stared at I was crying and he told me I was a big girl and this is what happens to `good girls`afterwards he fixed himself and my hair had been up in pigtails so he pulled them tight and fixed my hair he also put my ripped pants into my cardigan and give me 20pence and told me to get sweets with it my neightbour saw me coming out of the flat and brought me to my mother`s house of course she sobered up pretty quickly and she started screaming...............I thought she was cross because I had money...... I remember telling her that I didn`t steal it but she sent me up to wash my face the neightbour followed me up to the bathroom and helped fix my hair and wash my face she was crying and I could not understand why I was brought to the police station and examined but my parent`s dropped the charges against him and he was left to get on with his life I on the other hand had horrifying nightmares and was told that nothing happened even when I asked my parents did he rape me they told me i was an attention seeker.. still as the nightmares continued..... I met my husband to be at 15 and fell pregnant shortly after and again the nightmare`s continued so I went to the solicitor`s, i just wanted some closure but the solicitor dug up more than I had expected you see my older brother also raped me infront of my younger brother this I have only known about for a couple of months and to be honest with you it`s tearing me apart I don`t want to be the victim they tell you that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel but I can`t see any light.
by Sharon on 11 Jun 2004

Labels: I`m a 24yr old mother of three who for the past 19 years have been tortured by the visions of my 4th birthday

posted by Robert Heard at 6:57 AM