Why Do You Fight?

Why Do You Fight?
Do You Know What You are Fighting About?
By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com Guide


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Every marriage relationship will have disagreements. The key to not allowing these fights to create hostility in your marriage or to hurt your marriage is to know what you are fighting about, to understand why you are fighting, to know how to fight fair, and to forgive one another.
If you and your spouse have fallen into a pattern of fighting over the same issues over and over again, you need to ask yourselves three questions:

1. Why do you fight?
2. Do you even know what you are fighting about?
3. Is this an issue we will never resolve?
What Married Couples Fight About

Chores
Money
Kids
Sex including pornography
Infidelity
Communication
Time including time spent on the computer
Jobs
Recreation
Neatness
Annoying habits
Jealousy
Past history
Substance abuse
Pointless or silly issues
Inlaws
Why Married Couples Fight

To win
To vent
For control
To release stress
To get closer to spouse
To clear the air
To resolve issues
Negative Behaviors Resulting From Unfair Fights in a Marriage

Withdrawal
Silent treatment
Avoidance
Distance
Meanness
Demanding
Pouting
Breaking promises
Negative Feelings Resulting From Fights in a Marriage

Ignored
Unloved
Hurt
Anger
Hopeless
Insulted
Worried
Abused
Useless
Unwanted
Unimportant
Put down
What You Can Do

Take responsibility for what you do or don't do.
Fight fair.
Listen to one another.
Don't try to be a mind reader.
Clarify what you think your spouse is saying.
If you need to cool down, take a time out.
Be open to compromise.
Know when to agree to disagree.
Don't fight to win. Fight for your marriage.
Forgive one another.

Labels: Why Do You Fight?

posted by Robert Heard at 6:41 AM