A Depressed Civilization

Are We a Depressed Civilization?
Author unknown

I just read a blog written by delectable pet regarding depression. Her writing is amazing and you could feel what she was feeling. It gave me a lot to think about. This is the most personal blog I have written and I gave it a lot of thought before I decided to do it. I hope it helps someone.

Although I did not realize it, I have been struggling with depression for many years. I did not realize that the sadness, lack of energy or interest in things, insomnia and physical pain were symptoms. In the beginning, this was a subject people did not talk about. There was little understanding.....you were either nuts or you were just sad. Medications were addictive and just made you high. Pursuing therapy was done (if it was done at all) secretly because anyone who saw a therepist was "crazy". No matter what your situation was, you did not talk about it....you hid it. Kept it hidden in the attic, so to speak.

I experienced this firsthand as a child when I first realized that my family was not like the families of my friends. My father was an alcoholic.....not a happy drunk but an angry one. My mother dealt with it by not dealing with it. Looking back, she was probably suffering from what we now know as battered woman syndrome. We did not talk about it within the family or with friends. I think she believed if we didn't tell people, noone would know. But when the car was parked in the yard on Saturday morning instead of the driveway, I think the neighbors probably figured it out. I dealt with it the best I could by either staying in my bedroom or at friend's homes. Verbal abuse was an almost daily experience and when he was especially angry, the belt would come off. He rarely hit my mother; my brother and I were who he took his anger out on. His abuse of her was mainly verbal and emotional. On the occasions that my mother geared up enough courage to try to stop him he would threaten her with kicking us out and not helping to support us. This was before the women's lib movement, she had never worked. Even if she had, women did not earn living wages then. She was trapped.

My solution was to marry too young just to get away. Oh yes, I convinced myself I was in love. I had children I was not ready to have. I had known nothing but anger and criticizm....how did I expect to be a good wife and parent. To make a long story short, I went through 2 marriages, both with children, before I realized I was doing something wrong.

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posted by Robert Heard at 8:57 AM