How to Save Your Marriage After Infidelity

How to Save Your Marriage After Infidelity
By parvenue

Okay, there you are. YOu have your husband and his "other" woman. You don't want to lose him because you love him. How do you save your marriage? How do you go on day to day without this getting in the middle of it all? While I don't know all the answers to everything, believe it or not, I've had friends approach me with this one..I gave them a little advice and some of them are still together and so my friends, in my finite mind I pass these things on to you.

InstructionsDifficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:
Patience
Trust
Courage
A frying pan
A big friend
Humor
Some support of some friends
Counselor/Priest/Psychologist
Step
1
GET THEM ALONE. This is the very first step. You've caught your husband with the drycleaner clerk, or the bowling alley waitress, or maybe with a pro. Obviously you are in no way, shape or form to speak to him right away. Go off and scream or punch something or get all the anger you can out of your system and then, when it's all done, as much as it can be, when you think you can sit in the room with him for a moment without wanting to tear his head off, arrange to have a civilized meeting. Have a third impartial person there, a mutual friend, a pastor, a priest, a cop, whomever, but someone who can referee, or at least keep you from strangling each other and then set it up and sit right down and have your heart to heart talk.
Step
2
DETERMINE. This is the next step. You need to determine if your husband is "in love" with this person, or if it was just a passing fancy. Was he drunk? What was the scenario? Will it happen again? Give him a chance to lay all of his cards on the table. Let him tell you how it happened. After you hear everything. Tell him you need some time to think. It's better if he isn't sleeping in the same house with you , and definately NOT sleeping in the same bed with you.
Step
3
Talk to your friends, a support group, and others that you know. Chances are they knew about the affair before you did. Size up the pros and cons of the relationship and then after all of this is done, if you think you can find it in your heart to forgive him. Then arrange for another meeting and tell him that you will forgive him, but that he must NEVER see this person again (or hire anyone) etcetera. Then move to the next step.
Step
4
GET Marriage counseling. Ask around and get a good counselor. If you can't afford one there are many free counseling sessions around, but make this a condition, and don't go back on it. If you want to save your marriage and keep your husband, and moreover, let him be able to keep you, then you HAVE to have a change in your relationship. Things can't go on the same. What were his reasons for cheating? Did you ever feel like cheating? Is it something you can fix? Or can you live without fixing it?
Step
5
Remember that you LOVE each other. You did get together once. There must have been some chemistry between you. Somehow you drifted apart from one another, but I'm here to tell you that it is possible to save your marriage and to repair it if you truly love one another and are both willing to do the necessary things to make it work, that my friends is the key. Love is the answer.

Labels: marriage conflict

posted by Robert Heard at 1:24 PM