7 Relationship Problems and How to Solve Them

7 Relationship Problems and How to Solve Them
How to resolve the most common relationship problems and get your love life back on track.
By Carol Sorgen
WebMD Feature Reviewed by Amal Chakraburtty, MD
It's a rare couple that doesn't run into at least a few relationship problems -- even when their love life is generally happy. It helps, experts say, to know what the most common problems in a relationship or marriage are. That way you'll have a better chance of getting through them if they occur in yours. Scott Haltzman, MD, is a clinical assistant professor of psychology at Brown University in Providence, R.I. "Knowing what to expect from relationships -- the good, the bad, and the ugly -- is the best way to make sure you're not looking for something that will never be there," Haltzman says.

Ideally, basic topics such as money, sex, and kids should be discussed before a couple decide to share their life together, says Margaret A. Cochran, PhD. Cochran is a San Francisco Bay area psychotherapist who coaches couples on resolving marriage problems and building romantic intimacy. But agreeing on these things, she says, doesn't guarantee that a marriage or long-term relationship is going to be trouble free.

Marriage and family therapist Terri Orbuch, PhD, director of the NIH-funded Early Years of Marriage project at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, has identified seven common relationship problems and ways to address them. Her suggestions can help you get a wobbly relationship back on track.

Relationship problem #1: Lack of trust

Trust is an essential part of a relationship, Orbuch tells WebMD. "Trust becomes an issue when one partner doesn't feel the other is being honest, or doesn't have his or her best interests at heart," she says. It can become a major issue if one of you feels the other has a roving eye - or worse, sees signs of a cheating spouse.

Orbuch's solution is a "trust talk." You and your partner need to ask one another about your feelings about and experience with dependability and commitment. What are the behaviors that are causing you to lose trust in your partner or to doubt his or her commitment? Finally -- and Orbuch says you need to think about this carefully -- do you have unresolved issues of your own that hinder your ability to trust others? "You have to have a trustworthy partner," Orbuch says, "but you also have to have the ability to trust."

Mary Jo Fay, RN, MSN, author of , offers these tips to help you and your partner develop trust in each other.

Be consistent.
Be on time. When you have to be late, call and say you'll be late.
Do what you say you will do, and call when you say you will call.
Don't lie - not even little white lies - to your partner or to others.
Be fair, even in an argument.
Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your partner feels.
Carry your fair share of chores.
Respect your partner's boundaries.
Be a good listener.
Try not to overreact when things go wrong.
Don't dig up old wounds. Remember that once you say things, you can't take them back.
Don't be jealous.
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Labels: marriage conflict

posted by Robert Heard at 11:29 AM