. My story began when I was 11 ...

My name is Renee', and I am here to let you all know that I too am a survivor of sexual abuse. My story began when I was 11 and ended when I was 12. When I was around 11 1/2 I became the victim of molestation. My abuser's name is Wayne Manedez. Wayne lived with my best friend's mother (he raped her) at the time. When I first met Wayne and got to know him , he became a friend in my eyes and every around him. I remember the first day it started, I went up stairs (we live in apartments) to visit my best friend. He was there alone and when I was in the house, that is when he made his move. First he started to tickle me, he tickled me so hard that I was on the floor laughing. When he stopped, he walked by the door and looked out the peep whole. When he came back he got on top of me. Then he got up and took me to his room and had me against the wall. At 11 I was a fast bloomer, and he took advantage of that. He had my back to the wall and he began to take my breast out of my bra and put his mouth on them. Then he put his tongue in my mouth. After that, he took his di*k out, pulled my shorts down, turned me around and roughly rubbed his di*k on my vagina. I couldn't tell to this day what was going through my mind. He didn't even use a condom. Sometimes he would go so fast that it would slip in, and that hurt. One time he tried to force himself on me, but I manage to make him get up. My abuse ended when I was 12. At 12 1/2, almost 13, I was put in a rehabilitation center, for my bad behavior. They put me on medications and assigned me to counselors. I was out there bad until I was 15. I was put in alternative school for 5 months, I was ok for me. After I was released back to public schools I was a normal child. I began reading stories like mine and becoming more and more interested in abuse stories.Today I am still in that rehab program. They think that something totally different is wrong with me, but they don't know the half of it. Now I am 19 yrs. old and surrounded by a huge loving family. None of my family knows about the abuse. I tried so many times to tell my mother, but something blocks it. I've only told five people. After the abuse Wayne visited my mother twice. A lot of people underestimate me, but I have so much anger built up inside me. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever tell my mother what happened to me. I'd be so afraid of what she may think. I know my mother won't stop loving me, its how she'll look at me. She may never look at me the same way again, that can scares the sh*t out of someone. As for Wayne, I will take every bit of anger out on him. I know he is still alive, when I find him I'll act like nothing ever happened. Then his judgment day will come. If anyone has any questions are comments email me.


by Renee'on 28 Nov 2004

Labels: . My story began when I was 11 ...

posted by Robert Heard at 5:18 AM