I was sexually abused by step father from the time I was 5

I was sexually abused by step father from the time I was 5 (may have been earlier, I seem to remember being VERY young and seeing him naked trying to get me to touch him) until I was 14 years of age.

I remember him starting to teach me about sex (with my mother around) by just talking normally as he would to describe the act to a young child. But soon my mother started working out of home, and being left alone with him, he took it upon himself to show me personally.

I liked it at first. I didn't think much of it until I started taking sexual ed courses in school when I turned 11. My step-father had told me that it was perfectly natural for a father (I did not know he was a step-father until I turned 18) to physically show and caress his daughter sexually to prepare her for her sexual encounters when she grew up.

I tried to get him to stop a few times, but He started to make me feel shameful when he started questioning my love for him.

I lost my virginity to him when I was 13... at 14 I finally told him to stop. From then on he no longer touched me sexually, but he punished me for anything he could think of.

Everything came out when I turned 17... For 3 years I suffered horrible nightmares and broke down in school in the middle of a math exam. A fellow student’s parent stopped me and I blabbed.

Since it had been too long to prove physically with rape tests, I was called a liar. My step-father had taken a lie-detector test and "passed with flying colors". When I demanded the police to have one myself, they stated "even if you did pass, we would always take an adult's word over a child".

http://www.freewebs.com/tamaralynn/amazing.htm This is the complete story... it's long, but It's my experience.

I still feel ashamed about what happened. And even though I've found someone I truly love, I sometimes still feel myself shirking away from him. Sex no longer pleases me (mostly due to my Depo-Provera usage, which stopped just over a month ago).

I feel ashamed because I used to go to HIM for comfort and to feel good...

I can't stop but think that if there is a God, I will spend my eternal afterlife in Hell.
by Tamaraon 6 Sep 2004

Labels: I was sexually abused by step father from the time I was 5

posted by Robert Heard at 6:19 AM