The night it happened I had just came home from a week of Christian camp

The night it happened I had just came home from a week of Christian camp. I felt good and more close to God than I had been before in life. I knew life at home wasn't great but I also knew that others had it worst than me. I was willing to come home and deal with my distant mother and depressed younger brother. I had made it my mission to bring them to happiness through Christianity. I was welcomed home by my mother who was smiling for the first time in two years(since my father died). She came to me and hugged me and told me she had someone she needed me to meet. A man walked from out of the kitchen and greeted me. I remember feeling mad. I hadn't thought of my mother dating since my father died. I said Hi and then went to my room to pray and then I feel asleep. When I woke up my mothers boyfriend was on the edge of my bed staring at me. I asked what he was doing and he just put his fingers to his lips, telling me to be quiet. I looked at my alarm clock and saw that it was 3 in the morning. I figured my mom and brother were both sleeping. I went to get up when he touched my arm, telling me to lay back down. I wasn't nervous because I never thought of anything like this happening to me. So I got out of bed against his wishes and he grabbed my arm and forced me back down onto the bed. I knew what he was going to do but I didn't believe it. He pulled up my skirt and took off my underwear, while I did nothing to stop him (I've had a hard time coping with that). When he put himself inside of me I started to cry uncontrollably. He held his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. The pain was unbearable. When he was done he stood and told me to keep my mouth shut. I heard him go back down the hall to my mothers room. I lay in bed for awhile believing that I had just woken up from a nightmare. It has been 6 months since that night. I am 15 and I don't believe that I will be able to date or trust a guy for a long time. I didn't say anything and my mother continued to date him until two months ago. He never touched me or talked to me again but He has forever changed my life. I went into a deep depression and stopped eating. I stopped going to church and talking to my friends and I started cutting myself. this is the fist time I'm sharing my story. I don't think that I will be able to do it with the people who know me. I'm trying to move on with my life but I feel stuck. I believe that sharing me story is the first step to moving on in my life.
by Candace on 20 Jan 2006

Labels: The night it happened I had just came home from a week of Christian camp

posted by Robert Heard at 7:13 AM