When I was 19 years old I was at a party with my friends at a friends house

When I was 19 years old I was at a party with my friends at a friends house and we were playing cards drinking having lots of fun. I was there with a guy I really liked alot and so we got together and talked and was having fun playing cards, watching movies, drinking, and then one thing led to another and we ended up in the bedroom where we had intercourse. With him I really wanted to be with him and he was so gentle and romantic and he was always asking are you sure you want to do this? I said yes and so we did, afterwards he went to the restroom to clean up I guess and while he was gone I was starting to get dressed when one of the other guys that was at the party came in the room and pushed me on the bed and said "Its my turn". I said in a shock state, What? He said that he was going to do me now since I was with this other person. I said NO!, and he proceeded to tell me that I wanted it and that I didn't mean no. So I was crying at this point and scared while he was trying to hold me down, I was screaming for him to get off of me and kept saying NO! After a minute or two seemed like a life time the guy that I was with earlier heard me screaming and came running in the room and pushed the other guy off of me and asked him what the hell he thought he was doing. The other guy laughed and said, well I thought I would have a go at her since you did. That angered the other guy and he told him to get out before he killed him and then he told me to get dressed and then he put his arm around me while I was still crying and said come on I am taking you home. I said ok, and he wrapped me up in his coat and took me home. On the way home he asked me if I wanted to go to a hospital and I said no just take me home. He was crying all the way home with me telling me he was so sorry for leaving me alone in the room that he didn't think something like that would happen. I said its ok I didn't think I was going to get hurt either. He stayed with me most of the night and then came everyday after for weeks to make sure I was ok and cryed with me everytime. He was so sweet and thought it was his fault. The whole time I am thinking it is my fault because I was drunk and at a party, I had just had sex with someone else and that maybe I had done something to lead him on. So for many years that is what I thought. I am now 37 yrs old and I still have to run into this person all the time in stores or something because he lives in my home town where I live and the worse thing is, is that he is related to my ex-husbands family so just a year ago I had to sit in the funeral home and the church with him in the same place and to close to me because of the death of a grandmother. That was so hard for me, I was shaking, sick, scared, couldn't breathe, and wanted to go home. Nobody knows about this still to this day except my new husband and the guy I was with that night. I thought until just recently that I had maybe put in away in a place that I would never have to deal with it again, but I have just in the last 3 weeks started a domestic violence course online for college and it has brought up everything I thought I left behind. I now know it was not my fault and I did not lead him on or deserve it. I am still having my days now that I just want to sit and cry or something because I am so angry with what he did to me. Because of him it is hard to have sexual relations with my husband now and every time I have to go to my O.B. and have a pap I cry the whole time and for 2 days after, even though it is a woman doctor, I still feel like I am being violated again.
Well that is my story and thank you for letting me share this with all of you on this site.


Thank you,

Tammie Clark

Labels: When I was 19 years old I was at a party with my friends at a friends house

posted by Robert Heard at 7:59 AM