Truths about Marriage

Truths about Marriage

I began a quick series the other week about relationships, and it was kicked off by the post, Relationships and Conflict Resolution. What gets in the way? It's late in the evening, so allow me to throw in a quick post that is a little side-tracked from the original series, but still on the subject of relationships and marriage.

Racing through Norwegian newspapers the other day, I saw a reminder list for those whose knot is already tied, and a reality check for those about to waltz down the aisle. Marriage is marriage, and couples around the world deal with similar relationship issues. That stated, here are seven truths about marriage:

Remember;

1. One day you just might look at your partner and think, "Is this it? Is this everything?"
Even though you've chosen the right person and no matter how terrific they are, you may ask yourself this question at some point throughout a long lifetime of marriage. Relax, it's normal, and it tends to pass.

2. Relationships are more work than most people think.
It's pretty much impossible to agree about everything, so sometimes compromise means brushing the chip from the shoulder and swallowing some pride.

3. There WILL be a time when you go to bed angry.
The wise words 'don't ever go to bed angry at each other' just don't always work in reality. Sometimes sleeping on a problem or conflict helps in discovering solutions. Breathe deep.

4. Sometimes you may have to go without sex, and that's OK.
Periods without sex throughout a marriage are normal, and it doesn't mean your partner doesn't want you anymore. There may be other stress factors in the picture that will subside. Don't fall into the trap of the blaming game. Stay close with the physical touch of kissing, hugging, and other affection in the meantime. Stay in touch. Intimacy is an important key to successful relationships, and it is expressed in various forms. Phases like these will come and go.

5. Getting your own way is seldom more important than solving problems and issues together.
You may be used to always being right, but your partner may also be right. A discussion or argument doesn't need to end in someone being the winner. Life is usually not 'black-white'. Life's gray zones are larger than people think.

6. A good marriage doesn't mean that you never have an argument.
If you can discuss in a respectful manner, marriages can be strengthened through the trials of argument (see series about conflict resolution).

7. Work on personal attitudes.
Instead of becoming irritated about the small things, choose the middle-road. Thank them for doing the dishes instead of criticizing that they forgot to take out the garbage.

Labels: Truths about Marriage

posted by Robert Heard at 10:14 PM