10 Things You Can Do To Have a Healthy Marriage

10 Things You Can Do To Have a
Healthy Marriage

It takes work to have a healthy marriage but it is possible. Just like good nutrition and
regular exercise can help you have a healthy body, there are things you can do to have a
healthy marriage.

Here are 10 Tips you can use to strengthen your marriage:

1) Spend Time with Each Other. Married partners need time with each other in
order to grow strong together. Plan regularly scheduled date nights and
weekend activities. If a getaway is not immediately possible make it a goal that
you will work toward. By spending time with your partner, you will better
understand your differences and how to negotiate the problems they may cause.
Forget the “quality vs. quantity time” discussion—healthy marriages need both.

2) Learn to Negotiate Conflict. Conflict is a normal part of a relationship. There is
a point however when it can increase in intensity and become emotionally and
sometimes physically unsafe. Working out problems in a relationship starts with
understanding what your issues are and how to discuss them. There are many
resources available to help you learn how to deal with conflict. Using these
resources can go a long way in preserving how safe you and your partner feel.

3) Show Respect for Each Other at All Times. When a couple fails to respect each
other they often slip into negative habits. Research shows that nothing can
damage a relationship quicker than criticisms and put-downs. Treating your
partner as you would like to be treated will do a lot to strengthen the bond
between you. Paying your partner a compliment is a quick and easy way to
show them respect. When you are tempted to complain to someone about one of
your partner’s flaws, ask yourself how you would feel if they did that to you.

4) Learn About Yourself First. Make it a point to work on self discovery. Many
partners enter into relationships without knowing enough about themselves. As
a result they can also have difficulty learning about their partners. Learning
about yourself will better equip you to grow as an individual and a partner.
Regardless how long you’ve been together, there are always more things you can
learn about him or her. What are his dreams for the future? What is her worst
fear? What is the way he or she best gives or receives love? Imagine the
intimacy and bond you will share over a lifetime together if you commit to
discovering new things about one another!


5) Explore Intimacy. Marital intimacy can open your relationship to a whole new
level of enjoyment and closeness. It is important, however, to remember that
intimacy does not always mean sexuality. An often forgotten aspect of intimacy
is the emotional type. An example of emotional intimacy is creating a safe space
for your partner to share his or her emotions without fear of you being
judgmental or making light of them. Learn the difference between emotional and
physical intimacy and when each one is most appropriate. Offering your partner
one type when they really need the other can create problems in your
relationship.

6) Explore Common Interests. Couples thrive when they share similar interests.
That doesn’t necessarily mean each partner will enjoy every activity but it opens
up the opportunity for greater sharing and compromise. Doing things separately
is not bad but common interests are important to healthy marriages. A common
interest may be cooking or eating new foods together, going for walks or playing
cards. The goal is to have something outside of your family that you both enjoy.

7) Create a Spiritual Connection. Many couples grow closer when they share
some form of spiritual connection. This can be done in many different ways. For
example it may be achieved through an affiliation with a church, synagogue or
mosque, through meditation or by simply spending time in nature or intimate
conversation.

8) Improve Your Communication Skills. The ability to talk and listen to each
other is one key to a healthy marriage. You should never assume your partner
knows what you are thinking or feeling. Tell your spouse what is going on—and
as a spouse, know when to simply listen. Learning to really hear your partner is
a skill that may require practice. There are many resources available like books,
marriage education workshops and online courses. All of these options can help
couples learn how to communicate more effectively.

9) Forgive Each Other. If he or she hasn’t already, your partner is going to do
something that hurts, frustrates or upsets you. Guess what, you are going to do
the same thing! Sometimes it might even be on purpose after an argument or
misunderstanding. Forgiveness is a tricky but important virtue in a marriage
especially since no one is perfect. Try to allow your partner some room to make
a few mistakes because you will also make some of your own. When you make a
mistake, act quickly to apologize and fix problems. Doing so will help to
encourage forgiveness and strengthen your marriage.

10) Look for the Best in Each Other. When you met your partner, you fell in love
with some of his or her wonderful qualities. Over time however, your view of
those qualities may have changed. For example, he may have been really good at
saving money when you met. Now you just think he’s cheap! Give each other the
benefit of the doubt and create a list of all the things you love about your partner.
It will help you to fall in love all over again!

Thank you to David Jones, a Certified Family Life Educator and author of a variety
of relationship tools for fathers, for contributing to this tip sheet.

Labels: marriage success

posted by Robert Heard at 1:44 PM