Sexual abuse - don't hide it

Sexual abuse - don't hide it
Don’t hide it! That’s the message behind the NSPCC’s latest campaign against sexual abuse. But what is sexual abuse? And where can you turn to if you think it’s happening to you? Children First for Health investigates…

A new NSPCC study shows that 16 per cent of young people have experienced some form of sexual abuse. Yet in reality the figure is probably much higher than this, as people often don’t like to talk about, or report what is happening to them.

One of the main reasons is because sexual abuse is still a very taboo subject and sometimes it can be difficult to find someone you trust and open up to. But help is at hand according to policy manager Lucy Thorpe at the NCPCC.

What’s not OK and what is?

Sometimes young people are sexually abused without actually realising it. Sexual abuse can cover a wide range of different things from “stroking, touching, kissing and having sex; basically any unwanted sexual activity,” points out Lucy.





What’s not OK?
When a person has sex with you
When a person gets you to watch porn movies
When a person takes pictures of your private parts
When a person strokes your private body parts
When a person kisses or touches you
When a person watches you without any clothes on
When a person wants you to talk dirty
Courtesy of NSPCC.


This can be OK
When someone touches you on the arm
When someone hugs you
When a parent or carer washes your private parts because you can’t do it yourself
When someone gives you sweets
If you have sex with someone your own age and you both think it’s OK
Courtesy of NSPCC.


Who does it happen to?

Sexual abuse can happen to boys and girls of all ages but it increases around the age of 13. This is the time when you start to get boyfriends and girlfriends and experiment with sex. But according to Lucy, it’s important to remember that if you are being abused it is never your fault. It is usually a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sex abuse tends to happen because of problems with the person who abuses, not the person they abuse. Unfortunately it can sometimes make you lose your confidence and feel bad about yourself. You may feel dirty and even blame yourself for what is happening. This is totally natural but it doesn’t make it right.

Who does it?

You may be frightened and told by your abuser that it’s a secret and that you shouldn’t tell anyone,” explains Lucy. But you must try and get help soon and speak up!
Sexual abuse tends to happen to people by someone they know like their dad, brothers, boyfriends, uncles or even teachers. Stranger danger is a bit of a myth and chances are you probably already know that person. Abusers tend to choose to work with young people. Sometimes they may pick on people who are on their own or have already been bullied.

“You may be frightened and told by your abuser that it’s a secret and that you shouldn’t tell anyone,” explains Lucy. “In some extreme cases they may even say something bad or life threatening will happen to you if you dare to speak up. But this is not case and you must try and get help soon.”

Speak up

Speaking up can be very difficult but by doing so you can stop the cycle of abuse and start to get better and enjoy life again. Some people might not feel they can approach a family member or friend and if this is the case Childline runs a free confidential service. They can offer you advice on the best way of dealing with your individual situation. They can also help if you feel in danger or need immediate help. Alternatively try speaking to a doctor, teacher or the local police. There is also a website with real stories from the NSPCC which you may find helpful. www.donthideit.com

Will my family or I be in danger?

If you speak up you and your family will not be in danger and you won’t get anyone into trouble. A social worker will explain what will happen to you and tell you your rights. The person that is abusing will need to recognise that what they are doing is wrong and they may be sent away for some time. You may also need to go away to be safe for a little while. But this will hopefully stop what is happening to you and make the situation better.

Remember it’s your body and you should always have a say if someone can touch you or not!

Labels: Sexual abuse - don't hide it

posted by Robert Heard at 9:40 AM