At 11 my best friends stepfather raped me

At 11 my best friends stepfather raped me. I went and stayed there for the night and he must have thought that I was an easy target. I'm 17 now and it has changed me life completely. I've only just told someone I can trust and started counseling, because it has become too much for me to deal with myself. Although I have dealt with it all by myself since that night. When he came in I didn't think that he was going to hurt me, I actually thought that he was protecting me. I thought that maybe someone was in the house, he was a cop so I had no reason not to trust him. Things got very wrong very quickly. When he sat on the bed next to me I knew that something wasn't right. He put his hand over my mouth and told me not scream and that if I did he would kill me and hurt Hannah (who was my best friend who was also in the room). I didn't say anything, I kept my mouth shut. He undressed me and then himself, at this point I closed my eyes, I didn't want to know what he was going to do to me. I felt the bed go down and then a terrible searing pain in my stomach when he inserted his penis. The pain was unbelievable, I've never felt anything like that before. It felt as though he was stabbing me several times. Then he lay down on me and I could hardly breath, but I didn't really care if I didn't get another breath, because at the time I thought that anything would be better than this. I let out a little scream of pain and for a second he stopped, he looked across the room at Hannah, she turned in our direction but she didn't wake up. He told me to shut up and I did. But then a made another noise, I don't even know where it came from or what it was, it was like a half whine, half scream. This noise woke Hannah up and she ran across the room and grabbed his arm, she tried to stop him but he just pushed her away with such a force that she fell too the ground and didn't get up again till later. He continued and when he was done he whispered in my ear, "You were the easiest girl I ever done this too, because you didn't fight back". He got up and picked Hannah up off the ground and threw her on her bed, this woke her up. He bent over and said " I've broken in your friend sweetie, she's all grown up now too." Then he removed her clothes and raped her too. I was scared of what had just happened, I didn't really know what it was but I was terrified and couldn't move. I just lay there in the bed and didn't do anything to help Hannah out like she did for me, but I just couldn't move. I've never been able to forgive myself for not helping her, even though this had been happening for a long time I still should have done something. After that night we never talked again and just moved further and further away from each other. I no longer see her anymore but I wish that we had contact because then we could help each other out in getting over this terrible pain. But I have help now and I'm finally starting to get my life back on track. Even though it has taken me almost 6 years to do something, I finally have and it has been working out so far. So I hope that this gives faith to others who have had this horrible action happen. It's never too late to ask for help and not matter what you do there will always be someone there to turn too. For me I haven't told my mother yet but I feel that one day when I'm stronger I will. Whether she believes me or not at least by then I'm hoping to have some closure on the issue. Never lose hope and believe in yourself. Know that you can fight this and put it behind you so that you can have life you were supposed to have, that you deserve to have!
by Kimberley on 1 Feb 2006

Labels: At 11 my best friends stepfather raped me

posted by Robert Heard at 6:36 AM