This happened four years ago when I was ten

This happened four years ago when I was ten. I was a lot luckier than everyone else who's written but I was stupid for not doing anything about it at the time. I went to visit my mum’s friend Jules and her husband Terry overnight while my mum was on a business trip. At about 7/8-ish Jules went to bed leaving me and Terry on the couch (where I slept) watching TV. At about 9-ish I was curled up on half the couch in my new red nightie under the blanket. I felt his hand creep up between my legs. I put my hand over my "area" so he couldn't touch me there so he moved his hand over my butt and started rubbing it. After a few minutes he removed his hand and I was frozen in fear. He took out his penis and started masturbating right there in front of me. I escaped to the bathroom for about 5 minutes. I went back to the couch and sat up straight. He didn't go to bed until about 1am. One week later my mum had to go out of town again and I had to stay with Jules and Terry for the whole weekend. Jules owned a dog grooming shop so my mum dropped me off there. I had to go to the bathroom and Terry, who was also there, followed me to the door and asked if I wanted help. I said no and he said okay. I went in and locked the door. He started juggling the doorknob trying to get in. I calmly said that someone was in there but he wouldn't stop. On the drive back to Jules' and Terry's apartment Terry was being exceptionally nice to me. He even let me sit in the front seat. Jules had to deliver something to one of her friends/clients and left me in the car with Terry. He was directly behind me and asked if I wanted a massage. I said NO! The he put his hands on my shoulders and slid them down over my breasts. He kept rubbing my breasts until the door into which Jules went into started to open. Terry's dead now. He attempted suicide and ran away from his home a few times. One day he tripped and hit his head really hard and bled to death. I wanted to be happy but I felt it was wrong. Now four years later here I am. A girl with incredibly low self-esteem, a girl who cuts herself until there is no unscarred skin left, a girl who is struggling with episodes of anorexia and bulimia and an eating disorder not otherwise specified. I'm a girl who has attempted suicide twice (not much though just a really deep cut and a small sip of toiletries that say not to drink, no one ever knew). I've seen my school counselor and now I have to see a psychologist. I'm going for my second meeting with my psychiatrist today. My mum and I don't get along and my father is literally non-existent. A whole lot of bad things in my life could have been avoided because of Terry. But I'm lucky, so many people have it worse off.
by M Con 23 May 2005

Labels: This happened four years ago when I was ten

posted by Robert Heard at 6:23 AM