Child Molesters

Child Molest

Child Molest - two little words that change the life of a child and a family forever. It is estimated that there are over 60 million people in our country today who have suffered the horrors of child sexual abuse. Researchers tell us that at least one in three girls and one in six boys will be the victim of some form of child sexual abuse before the age of eighteen. Others speculate that boys are abused at least as often as girls but are simply less likely to tell. At this very moment, at least one million children are continuing to endure a sexual relationship with a member of their own family.



You might be wondering, "Who would do this to a child and why don't the children tell?" In spite of all our efforts to educate and protect our children from strangers, the sad truth is that in most cases of child sexual abuse, the child knows the abuser. Often the abuser is even someone loved and trusted by the child as well as by the parents. It might be a family friend, a relative, a respected member of the community, or even someone living in the home.



There are many reasons why children don't tell. Most often it's because they are too embarrassed. They may be afraid of the consequences and may even have been led to believe that the abuse was their fault. Parents can help their children be safe by teaching them the proper names for their private parts and explaining to them that no one has the right to touch their private parts for no good reason. Child molesters often use "game names" for the private parts. Children who don't know the proper names may be misunderstood when trying to tell what happened to them because they are using words that others don't understand or don't associate with sexual abuse.



After abuse is disclosed, parents may agonize over why the child didn't tell them sooner. Children often instinctively know that what happened to them was wrong, but they may take the blame and be afraid to tell. Maybe they went somewhere the parent told them never to go or with someone they were told to stay away from. Maybe the abuser gave them drugs or alcohol or let them do things they knew they weren't supposed to do and then threatened to tell on them if they disclosed the abuse. Other typical threats could include: "If you tell, your mom/dad won't love you anymore (or won't believe you)," or "you'll be put in kid-jail," or "it will break-up our family," or "I'll kill your dog (or your mom, little sister, etc.)." The list goes on and on. When children do tell, some of the awful threats may even come true. The child might decide that the consequences of telling are actually worse than the abuse and take it all back.



Child molesters prey on the innocence of our children. Instead of teaching them to watch out for every person they know or meet, we need to empower children to watch out for their own bodies. Remind them that their private parts belong to them and that no one has the right to touch their private parts for no good reason. Most importantly, if a child tells you that he or she has been molested, believe the child! Victims have said that not being believed was in many ways worse than the actual abuse. If a child you know has been abused, contact Child Protection Services immediately at 1-800-800-5556 or call your local law enforcement agency. Our children are our nation's greatest resource; we must all strive to protect them. For more information, call Dunebrook at 1-800-897-0007.



Kris Pate

Director of Advocacy

Dunebrook

posted by Robert Heard at 7:48 AM