Hi, this is my story

Hi, this is my story, well the parts that I can remember anyhow.
At around the age of 8 my life turned black. I say that because from then till I was about 20, most of my memories involved either my brother or my uncle, being sad or being suicidal.
When I was about 8, my brother and his friends were starting to go through puberty I guess. As I was the only female that they could get access to, I became their learning tool. I was a way for them to learn about being stimulated and receiving oral sex. (If there is anything more, I can not remember it). I do remember at that time, my brother had a lot of friends though. They used to say that they would pay me to perform oral sex on them. At one stage my mum got a bit suspicious about it and asked me. I told her what was going on and she told me that it should not happen and to tell her if they did it again. I was only little, and they offered money, it wasn't a hard choice for me. I let it continue. After a number of years, we moved to another state. Away from the friends and it all ended. Or so I thought.
After only a couple of years of this, we started visiting my uncle and aunt and seeing them at a friend’s farm. At the farm, my uncle and I would go for walks. There we would find a place and he would touch me, in different places, and put his fingers inside of me. I didn't think it bothered me what he was doing because I was already damaged goods after my brother anyhow. This continued with him for many years, probably about 5.
The entire time through this and since, I have been trying to find ways to find an endless peace.
Since my husband and I met, for some reason I have been steadily going down hill. It is to the point where I have tried to kill him, just for being him. I don't mean to, it just happens. Now I have just started getting help. I have never told my family the full story, they all seem like such good friends and I don't want to tear them apart. One day maybe.
by cassy-lee on 24 Jun 2005

Labels: Hi, this is my story

posted by Robert Heard at 6:31 AM