When I was 15, I dated an 18 year old guy for about a month

When I was 15, I dated an 18 year old guy for about a month. I had to keep him secret from my family because they all liked the boy I had been dating, and wouldn't have allowed me to date someone who was 18. I also had to keep it secret from my nosey kid sister, because she would have ratted me out something fierce. I realized about 2 weeks in that I was scared of him, and that he wanted to possess me. The acutal thought was that he wanted to own me, and I was scared and (somewhat) flattered at the same time. I realized I couldn't be with him when I was hanging out at his house and he gave me a drink (spiked) and I woke up on his floor naked with him buckling his belt. At the time I thought I had got drunk and asked for it, but I broke up with him because I was mad he did that while I was "drunk". He started calling every day and every night, and driving by my house. He would sit outside my school and come into my work a dozen times a night. If it wasn't him, he had his friends keeping tabs on me. Adam was nothing if not determined. One night while I was babysitting he broke into their house and raped me while the baby cried in his crib. To this day, I don't remember much about the rape, only that I felt bad for the baby because he was crying and I wasn't there.

Later that week, my younger sister came home and told me she had met an "older guy" who was "totally into her and not me". I was happy for her because normally her 14 year old boyfriends trailed around me, and at that point, I wasn't liking guys too much. It turns out that it was Adam, although he called himself A.J. to her. He called me and told me we were getting back together or she would get some of what I had had while babysitting. I tried to tell my parents but they thought I had an overactive imagination - he comes from a good, solid, police family. There was no help from my parents.

I got back together with him, and if I wouldn't consent to sex he would beat me on the back, legs, thighs, anywhere where it wasn't visible. Most times he would beat me and then rape me anyhow. I finally showed my parents the bruises after he had broken 4 of my ribs. They "conferenced" with his dad, and it was agreed he would get help.

He didn't.

Months later my parents and sister went on a 2-week vacation, but I was left at home because I had school and a job. It was agreed that my friend Sean would stay over the whole time because I couldn't sleep without someone in the house. I felt terrorized even though nothing had happened in months. Sean's girlfriend was mad (it was their year anniversary) so I told him I'd be ok, to just leave me to sleep. He did, and Adam and friends broke in. They killed my dog and left me for dead after raping me all night. When Sean came in the morning, he found my dog decapitated, his head in bed with me. I had 7 broken ribs, a ruptured spleen, punctured lungs, a severely bruised larynx, and "massive" trauma to my sex. I was in the hospital for a month.

It eventually went to court, thanks to forensic details four of the friends were convicted. They had nothing but my word that Adam was in my house, and his friends wouldn't squeal.

I am now 29 years old, STILL sleep with a light on, and am still dealing with court issues because Adam's father knows how to play the system. He is responsible for the fact I will never have children, and has stolen everything from me but HOPE. I can only hope that one day I see justice and he is convicted of the ongoing sexual assaults. I have spent almost as much of my life fighting him than I have without him. He is currently awaiting sentencing for multiple counts of criminal harassment and sexual assault, which means he is being held in jail and can't bother me. There is a light, no matter how small... sometimes we just need to look for it.
by Jen on 1 Nov 2004

Labels: I dated an 18 year old guy for about a month, When I was 15

posted by Robert Heard at 6:28 AM