It was my ex-best friends stepfather...

It was my ex-best friends stepfather...
I am 13 going to be 14 in 6 days. It happened when I was only 12. The first anniversary has just passed. I went to my friends house like I usually do almost every weekend. I was making breakfast for the family, but there was no milk and we needed milk. I told my friend and her mom to go to the store and get some because I wanted to take a shower. I knew that her older sister was there and I trusted her alot. So I went to go take a shower but they didn't tell me that her older sister had gone with them.

I got out of the shower and went to go get dressed in my friends room. Right when I closed the door her stepfather walked in on me naked! I stared, then quickly threw on my towel. I knew something was going to happen so I asked him to get out so I could finish getting dressed. He gave me a look as if I had been bad or done something to make him angry. Then he grabbed me and started touching me!
I screamed but I then stopped because he was telling me that he would just go harder if I yelled more. He took me into his bedroom were he and my friends mother slept. I was crying so hard, I couldn't say anything. Then he had all of my clothes off and threw me into the closet. They had a huge closet with so many shoes in there. He held me down and took his pants off. Then he forced himself on me! I tried my hardest to yell or scream but I just couldn't.

I don't go to counseling, nobody even knows about this apart from any of you who read this. Most of the stories I have read, it says they were 16 or 18, but I am only 13 and it happened last year.
I get so confused sometimes, not knowing whether it was my fault or not. I mean I didn't yell or scream or even say anything. I just sat there and cried. After he raped me he told me that I was bleeding and I should go clean it up before the family gets back home. I tried to get up but I hurt everywhere. I haven't talked to a doctor or anyone else about it. I am still scared he will come back to me.
I have never and will never again go into a closet. I am scared to death when people touch me. At school everyone thinks I have the perfect life I am always so happy, but they don't know that real me. My maths teacher one time put his hand on my shoulder and I flipped out and started crying. He sent me to the counselor but I just said that he scared me.
I am 13 and I don't want to cause any trouble but I just want to know if I did something wrong, if I could have said something or gave him the impression that I wanted it because I didn't!
I used to bleed but I don't any more it stopped after like 4 weeks. I am just happy I didn't get pregnant. This man drove a motorcycle. Whenever I hear one I also flip out. He was my best friends stepfather. I knew him for so long. I thought I could trust him. But I was wrong!
by paigeon 3 Apr 2005

Labels: It was my ex-best friends stepfather...

posted by Robert Heard at 6:12 AM