Sunday, June 11, 2006

What is Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling


Definition

Marriage counseling is a type of psychotherapy for a married couple or established partners that tries to resolve problems in the relationship. Typically, two people attend counseling sessions together to discuss specific issues.

Purpose

Marriage counseling is based on research that shows that individuals and their problems are best handled within the context of their relationships. Marriage counselors are trained in psychotherapy and family systems, and focus on understanding their clients' symptoms and the way their interactions contribute to problems in the relationship.

Description

Marriage counseling is usually a short-term therapy that may take only a few sessions to work out problems in the relationship. Typically, marriage counselors ask questions about the couple's roles, patterns, rules, goals, and beliefs. Therapy often begins as the couple analyzes the good and bad aspects of the relationship. The marriage counselor then works with the couple to help them understand that, in most cases, both partners are contributing to problems in the relationship. When this is understood, the two can then learn to change how they interact with each other to solve problems. The partners may be encouraged to draw up a contract in which each partner describes the behavior he or she will be trying to maintain.

Marriage is not a requirement for two people to get help from a marriage counselor. Anyone person wishing to improve his or her relationships can get help with behavioral problems, relationship issues, or with mental or emotional disorders. Marriage counselors also offer treatment for couples before they get married to help them understand potential problem areas. A third type of marriage counseling involves postmarital therapy, in which divorcing couples who share children seek help in working out their differences. Couples in the midst of a divorce find that marriage therapy during separation can help them find a common ground as they negotiate interpersonal issues and child custody.

Choosing a therapist

A marriage counselor is trained to use different types of therapy in work with individuals, couples, and groups. American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) training includes supervision by experienced therapists, a minimum of a master's degree (including specific training in marriage and family therapy), and specific graduate training in marriage and family therapy.

When looking for a marriage counselor, a couple should find out the counselor's training and educational background, professional associations, such as AAMFT, and state licensure, and whether the person has experience in treating particular kinds of problem. Also, questions should be asked concerning fees, insurance coverage, the average length of therapy, and so on.

Normal results

Marriage counseling helps couples learn to deal more effectively with problems, and can help prevent small problems from becoming serious. Research shows that marriage counseling, when effective, tends to improve a person's physical as well as mental health, in addition to improving the relationship.

For Your Information

Periodicals

Johnson, S. M., and E. Talitman. "Predictors of Success in Emotionally- Focused Marital Therapy." Journal of Marital and Family Therapy 23 (1997): 135-152.
Lee, M. "A Study of Solution-Focused Brief Family Therapy: Outcomes and Issues." The American Journal of Family Therapy 25 (1997): 3-17.
Organizations
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. 1133 15th St., NW Suite 300, Washington, DC 20005-2710. (202) 452-0109. http://www.aamft.org
American Psychological Association (APA). 750 First St. NE, Washington, DC 20002-4242. (202) 336-5700. ttp://www.apa.org

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Fair Fighting

During this time both of you must remain consistent in this approach,
the following steps must adhered to;

1. at the first sign of a fight both of you are responsible to yell
stop and you both must stop.

2. both of you figure out a reasonable time to continue the fight and
set an appointment with each other.

3. when you get together to fight you must set a time limit and when
the time is up you MUST quit the fight or set a new time to further the
fight, again setting a time limit and following the other rules.

4. when you fight the past cannot be brought up, you cannot call each
other disparaging names or use put downs.

5. When the fight is over you both get up and walk away from the fight
signifying that it is over and move on.

6. PLEASE TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT AND IT IS OK TO LAUGH TOGETHER.


Robert J. Heard, MA, BCETS