The Marriage(partner) Relationships
The Marriage (Partner) Relationship
Perhaps one of the most complex challenges for mankind is the
interpersonal relationship. As we move through our lives, especially
adult lives, we encounter many different kinds of relationships. Here,
at ACT Professional Counseling, also known as ACT Professional
Marriage Counseling, we see marriage (partner) relationships as being
vital and work hard to see them succeed. As we see break up rates and
divorce rates soar, we need to understand the various components of a
successful relationship in order for this not to happen to our
relationships. This is ACT Professional
Counseling's recipe for a successful marriage (partner) relationship.
As we view marriage (partner) relationships using the
analogy of a pyramid, we have several important building
blocks. These start at the bottom of the pyramid.
Communication - active and effective listening
Friendship
Having things in common
Having a healthy self-esteem
Trust in each other
Respect for each other
Intimacy
Love and Sex
What happens if one of the blocks is pulled out from the bottom of the
pyramid? Of course, it falls down and needs to be rebuilt. We need to
examine each of the blocks to determine their workability and to
clearly understand their definition, such as, most consider intimacy
to have a sexual connotation. However, intimacy is having the ability
with your partner to exchange emotions and understand one another and
to feel comfortable discussing personal and private events with your
partner.
When all of these blocks are in line, we feel love and most likely
experience sex in a very positive way. Also, communication is critical
in a relationship. For example, the sexual component may not be
working as well as you would wish and it is important to feel at ease
in discussing this with your partner. How can both of you resolve the
issue at hand unless you are able to communicate with each other. In
conclusion, the final and certainly the most rewarding and vital
ingredient in a relationship, is love. If you have experienced love
from another person and have loved someone else, it is magical and
words can never describe the overwhelming feelings and ecstasy that
extends to our very soul.
Robert Heard,MA , BCETS
Intimacy
What is intimacy and why is it so important?
What is intimacy and why is it so important
Intimacy is about being emotionally close to your partner, about being able to let your guard down, and let him or her know how you really feel. Intimacy is also about being able to accept and share in your partner's feelings, about being there when he/she wants to let their defences down.
We all have an `inner world' of feelings and experiences, the world of our day dreams, hopes, fears, hurts and memories, the world of our 'inner-most' thoughts. To be able to share our 'inner-world' with a partner we love, and to be able to share our partner's experiences, is one of the most rewarding aspects of a relationship.
Intimacy often doesn't need words, but being able to put feelings and experiences into words makes intimacy more likely to occur. Intimacy involves being able to share the whole range of feelings and experiences we have as human beings - pain and sadness, as well as happiness and love.
Most of us, however, find it easier to share some types of feelings than others. For example, are you and your partner able to let each other know how you feel about each other?
Saying 'I love you' is important. Assuming your partner knows about your love because of the way you behave is usually not enough.
How do you feel when you are sad, a little depressed, in need of some comforting and reassurance? Are you able to let yourself be dependent and to receive some nurturing? Is this balanced in your relationship, or is one partner the 'strong one' who never needs to show any vulnerability? If so, is this really how you want things to be in your relationship?
How do you feel about yourself? When you've taken a bit of a knock and are feeling small and 'put down', or when you've achieved something that makes you feel good about yourself.
How do you feel about sex? What you like and don't like in your love-making, and about how your sexual relationship could be made more enjoyable for you.
Do you really know what your partner thinks and feels, or do you have to guess and 'mind-read?' Are you able to be open with your partner, or do you feel that your partner would not be able to accept some of your feelings?
Intimacy is a journey of discovery in a relationship. Many couples start out their relationship sensing they have achieved a new dimension of intimacy which they have not experienced before. They are in love, it is exciting, and they cannot imagine a greater degree of intimacy.
Yet, as the years pass and couples go through some of the highs and lows in their relationship, they discover a series of deeper levels in their intimacy. Each discovery makes the relationship more rewarding and fulfilling.
Link - Thu, 19 Jul 2007 13:26:44 GMT - Feed (1 subs)
ADHD
Dear : On Apr 30th, 2007 you asked Dr. Swingle the following question: It is my experience that ADD and ADHD do not really exist. A very large company in Switzerland invented the disorder in order to sell volumes of Ritalin to sell and have made billions of dollars since. Is this disorder not just normal child activity as Erikson would suggest. How do we buy into this marketing ploy. Dr. Swingle replies: I agree. Everyone has some cognitive inefficiencies and when there are several or some that are more severe it interferes with child's ability to attend and or sit still. We optimize brain functioning, with neurotherapy, to reduce the troubling aspects of the inefficiencies. As you suggest, we are medicating the normal behaviour of children, more so for the boisterous and male, which is an outrage.
by Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D., provided by Divorce Magazine
Live discussions on the Surviving Divorce message board
In the initial stages of divorce, it's hard to be patient while the world is going about its everyday business as if nothing has happened. Don't they know you're aching inside? How dare they show those romantic movies on HBO! Can't those people hold hands and nuzzle each other somewhere else?
The adjustment period after divorce trauma (whether you are the "leaver" or the "leavee") is between two and five years, depending somewhat on the amount of pre-grieving you've experienced. Some people begin the emotional journey when they realize the marriage is dead -- sometimes well before they mention the word "divorce" to their spouse.
If you're in the early stages, you're probably wondering what to expect -- and how to accelerate (or even bypass) the painful stages to reach the place where you feel whole and happy again. Unfortunately, recovery from divorce is not an express elevator from the basement of grief to the penthouse of joy. It's more like a maze: you go forward a bit, become confused, find the way forward again, hit a wall, retrace your steps, find a new way forward, realize you took the wrong turn and back-track again. Like wandering through a hall of mirrors, you confront yourself -- or what looks like yourself -- around every corner.
For tips on how to get off the emotional roller coaster you've been riding since the divorce, click here:
