When Sex Leaves the Marriage
By TARA PARKER-POPE
Is your relationship still filled with sparks? (Lauren Fleischman for The New York Times)
Why do some couples sizzle while others fizzle? Social scientists are studying no-sex marriages for clues about what can go wrong in relationships.
Married men and women, on average, have sex with their spouse 58 times a year, a little more than once a week, according to data collected from the General Social Survey, which has tracked the social behaviors of Americans since 1972. But there are wide variations in that number. Married people under 30 have sex about 111 times a year. And it’s estimated that about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University, who has studied sexless marriage.
I recently spoke with Professor Donnelly about how much researchers really understand about no-sex marriages. Here’s our conversation.
Is there any indication that the sexless marriage is becoming more common? Or are we just hearing about it more?
I suspect that we just hear more about it. Back in the days before reliable birth control, having a sexless marriage was one way of limiting family size. Those were also the days when women were not supposed to enjoy sex and often used it as a bargaining tool in their marriages (because they were socialized to do so). Plus, unhappy couples (who are less likely to have sex) were more likely to stay together because of social expectations, or because they had children they were raising.
Why does a marriage become sexless? Does it start that way? Or does sex fade?
The answer to that one is both. Some of the people in our sample never had much sex from the beginning, while others identified a particular time or event (childbirth, affair) after which sex slowed or stopped. Some people become accustomed to their spouse, bored even, and sex slows. For others, it is the demands of raising a family, establishing a career, and mid-adulthood. And there are people who have very low sex drives, and may even be asexual. They may have some sex with their partners to begin with, but it becomes unimportant to them (and usually not so unimportant to their spouses). These folks may also be dealing with guilt, issues with the human body, or feel that sex is “dirty” or only for procreation. A small number of couples showed a mixed pattern, where they would have periods of “feast” and of “famine.”
Are couples in sexless marriages less happy than couples having sex?
Generally, yes. There is a feedback relationship in most couples between happiness and having sex. Happy couples have more sex, and the more sex a couple has, the happier they report being. But keep in mind that sex is only one form of intimacy, and that some couples are fairly happy (and intimate) even without sex. In my 1993 study, I did find that people in sexless marriages were more likely to have considered divorce than those in sexually active marriages. There is no ideal level of sexual activity — the ideal level is what both partners are happy with — and when one (or both) are unhappy, then you can have marital problems.
Can people in a marriage that has become sexless rekindle their sex lives?
Some do. But once a marriage has been sexless for a long time, it’s very hard. One or both may be extremely afraid of hurt or rejection, or just entirely apathetic to their partner. They may not have been communicating about sex for a very long time (if ever) and have trouble talking about it. Couples who talk over their sex lives (as well as other aspects of their marriages) tend to have healthier marriages, but it’s hard to get a couple talking once they’ve established a pattern of non-communication.
There are mixed opinions about what to do to rekindle marital sex. For some couples, it may be as simple as a weekend away from the kids, taking a vacation or cruise, or just having some time off, alone. Others may need help in re-establishing communication and may seek professional assistance. The sad fact is that there are few counseling professionals that deal with this issue. Often, marriage counselors focus on other aspects, rather than sex. While these other aspects may play a big role in sexual inactivity, talking explicitly about sex is essential.
Are people in sexless marriages more likely to get divorced?
In my studies, as well as others, people in sexless marriages report that they are more likely to have considered divorce, and that they are less happy in their marriages.
Some of our former respondents have kept in touch with me, and the happiest ones are actually those that have moved on to other partners. It may be that lack of sex is a signal that all intimacy in a marriage is over, and that both would be happier in other situations. I know that this may not be a popular idea with the religious and political right, but it may be a better solution than staying in a marriage that is hurtful and unfulfilling.
In sum, these situations are just so complicated. Each couple has to examine their specific histories, their motivations and goals, and whether it is worth it to them to work on putting sex back in the marriage. It can be a difficult task and require that people take emotional and physical steps that aren’t comfortable for them.
What else are you trying to learn about sexless marriages?
I’m hoping to begin some longitudinal work which follows couples over time, to try and understand better the processes they experience, how they make decisions, and how these decisions affect their future happiness. Ultimately, I’d like to know how those who were able to repair their sexual relationships did so.
Labels: When Sex Leaves the Marriage
Dr. Romance: Bored with your Sex Life?
Put Spice Back into your Marriage with Tips to Help when the Sex Gets Boring
By TINA TESSINA
Are you bored with your marital sex life? What can you do about it? Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D, psychotherapist and author of "Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media 2008)" offers tips to improve intimacy with your mate.
Q: Sometimes I feel sexually excited, but I don't always feel desire for my husband...In other words, I'd rather take things into my own hands. Does this mean there's something wrong or missing from our relationship?
A: Sure it's normal. It's more direct and easier to do it yourself, and there's nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind, however, that the easy route might not be the best route for your marriage. If you can direct that energy toward having sex with your husband, your marriage will benefit. Also, take a little time to think about whether anything is going on between you that's putting you off. It's better to talk about that directly than to avoid it and go off by yourself.
Q: My husband and I have been married for many years. Thankfully I have orgasms somewhat easily and consistently, but I don't always look forward to sex. Weeks can go by without me missing it. Is this bad?
A: It's normal in a long-term marriage for spontaneous sexuality to diminish and even disappear. Don't continue to expect sex to generate itself as your marriage becomes more familiar and comfortable. You need to begin generating the sexual energy with each other. Try creating a mood, making a way for the two of you to transition from daily chores and hassles to intimacy. You might want to cuddle on the couch or surprise him with a kiss. You both need a signal that tells your partner that it's time for sex.
Q: How can we make sex seem more romantic and less run-of-the mill? How can we recapture the passion we once had so many years ago?
A: The most important thing to do is to take the hassle out of it. Don't have high expectations for every sexual encounter. Develop a repertoire that includes:
1. Sex when you're tired.
2. Sex when you're rushed.
3. Sex when only one of you wants it.
Make it as easy as possible and get playful about it. If you can giggle and laugh together, you'll feel more connected. If you keep your sexual connection going, the big, romantic fantasy moments will happen every once in a while (an anniversary, while you're on vacation, and so on.) The key is to make it simple and easy to get together.
Q: If I fantasize about other men, does it mean something is wrong with my marriage? Should I tell my husband about my fantasies?
A: Fantasizing about other men is normal. Whether or not to tell your husband depends on your two personalities and preferences. Will he be intimidated and put off, or will he be excited about it? Sometimes fantasies can be used to enhance sex -- for example, a fantasy that he has stolen you from this other man could really get you both going.
Labels: Dr. Romance: Bored with your Sex Life?
Are You Spouses or Just Roommates?
By Jeanie Davis
Reviewed By Louise Chang MD
There's no drama, no fighting. You've been together for years, raised kids and pets. The love is still there, but the spark just isn't. As months drift into years, you realize: You're in a sexless marriage.
Most married couples don't really know what to expect of a long-term relationship, says Diane Solee, MSW, a former marriage counselor who is the founder and director of Smartmarriages.com. She is also director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education.
"It's so normal to hit the doldrums. In a way, you should be smug about it," Solee tells WebMD. "You have a partner who is not bringing drama into your life. You're not going to alcohol or cocaine treatment classes. You are in a very good place. Realizing all that, your job is to get out of the doldrums. You may have gotten into a rut."
There's more at stake than simply boredom. Very often, couples are headed toward a bigger disconnect in the marriage — and possibly divorce, says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, professor of sociology, psychiatry, and behavioral medicine at the University of Washington in Seattle.
Schwartz is on the Health Advisory Board at WebMD, and author of several books including Prime: Adventures and Advice about Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years.
Signs you're in the marital doldrums: "You're leading parallel lives, and don't see each other anymore," she tells WebMD. "You tell everything important to your friends but not to each other. Those are really big problems, and you've got to tend to them."
A sharp tongue is a red flag of growing frustration in a passionless marriage, Schwartz adds. "If you're bitchy, if you treat each other with contempt, it's a warning sign. It may not happen all the time, but it happens often. It's because people start to feel neglected, disappointed. They had expectations of what marriage should be like, and this is not what they'd hoped for."
In fact, boredom is very often a cover-up for anger and disappointment, Schwartz explains. "Those deeper feelings have to be dealt with. I'm not talking about deep therapy; it can happen in one or two visits. But there has to be a refocusing on the relationship... a renewal of what this marriage is supposed to be."
The Anatomy of Love
First step: Be realistic. If you're looking for the swept-off-your feet sex of those first few years, dream on. And a new partner certainly isn't the solution. Three years later, you'll have the same sizzle-less marriage you have right now.
"The initial passion of any relationship changes after 18 months," says Sallie Foley, MSW, director of the Center for Sexual Health at the University of Michigan. She is the author of Modern Love and Sex and Love for Grownups.
"It moves from the romantic and exciting to an attachment kind of loving, fondness," Foley tells WebMD. "That gotta have it, gotta have it feeling is gone."
Take stock of what you want, she advises. If you want a sex life, then commit to making it happen, Foley says. "Not everyone wants a sex life as they head into last third of life. But AARP studies show that 65% remain sexually active."
Put aside the romanticized, silver-screen notions of sex, Foley says. "The majority of people your age are having good-enough sex. Occasionally, they have sex that knocks it out of the ballpark. But they're having sex regularly. They're getting into bed, hugging and touching, canoodling as I call it, and they're doing it on a regular basis."
You've also got to set aside negative attitudes about your spouse. "You have to give up fantasy notions that he or she is suddenly going to be 20 pounds lighter with no cellulite. You have to decide, 'This is what I want, how do I proceed,'" she advises.
Then, have "the talk" with your spouse. You have to be willing to say this to your partner: "We need to jazz up our sex life. We have fallen into some bad habits. I'm not going to settle for this level. We need to have sex, the same as we do other things that are important to us. We have to set aside time for it.'"
He's Just Not Up for It?
If your partner is unwilling, here's your dialogue: "We need to go for a brief round of counseling to get our priorities straight. I'm not willing to settle for a relationship where you sit in a chair, pop a few beers, and our sex life is over."
The stereotype of grumpy old men exists for a reason, Foley explains. "With aging comes an increase in depression and irritability. Women complain to me — I was ready to try these things, but I couldn't get my partner to do it."
Often, the irritability and crankiness is actually masking anxiety and depression. If your partner is downright snarly about it, then you've got to stand your ground. "This isn't the kind of thing in this day and age that people live with," she says. "Our parents or grandparents may have lived that way, but we don't anymore."
With therapy and the right medication, the irritable anxiousness and depression can disappear. If your partner won't go to counseling, then you need to go alone, she says. "Counseling can help you figure out strategies to help yourself."
Put Sex on the Schedule
If you're both on the same page, it's time you put sex on the schedule. Think of it as exercise, your regular workout — whatever time of day you choose. After all, sexual health is an important part of general health, Foley says.
"It's a very healthy thing for a partnership, there's no question about that," she tells WebMD. "People who have sex tend to feel closer, more intimate."
When you're over 40, there's definitely a "use it or lose it" aspect to sex, she adds. "That means you have to do it every day. You have to be committed to intimate time together. That doesn't mean every single time you take off your clothes and have sex. But set aside time just for the two of you."
Fall in Love Again
Outside the bedroom, you must make time for each other. "If you're bored, you can figure your partner is probably bored, too," says Solee. "Think what would put excitement into your life. Take responsibility for doing something about it. You really owe it to yourself."
Take a cooking class together, take up kayaking or dancing — or sign up for a sex workshop, she advises. "Share each other's interests. Find new interests together. Single people can follow their own interests. You don't want to send your partner off to a class alone. Mother Nature abhors the doldrums, so don't let someone else fill it."
Trying something new requires a lot of focus — and that's good for your sex life. "It's like when you had kids, or bought your first house. People actually fall in love again."
Between the sheets, keep things spontaneous and fun, she says. "The phone is turned off, the dog is behind the door. You get into bed with an attitude of good will. You don't have to have an attitude of 'complete hot.' That's a big misconception."
Allow each other plenty of sensual time to get warmed up. When you're over 40, foreplay is important in building arousal and desire. "When we're 20, it's all pretty straightforward — desire, arousal, orgasm. After age 40, you need to give arousal more time. You get into bed, start doing it — then you start feeling some physical arousal. That increases your desire, which increases more arousal."
Also, your mind-set changes. "As men get older, they get more focused on eroticism," she says. "They're much more interested in pleasure, in having the connection. Women start asking for what they want."
Couples should also develop a "sexual style," Solee tells WebMD. "Most people think that if they've found a lover and soul mate, the sex will be great. Early marital sex is essentially sex with a stranger. This is about letting your partner know you, and getting to know them, intimately. Marital sex can be hotter if you can develop an intimate sexual style with your marriage partner."
Vibrators and Pills
Tools and toys are important, too.
Men: Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis can be effective in men with erection problems, but if you have certain medical conditions or are taking certain medicines, you may not be able to use them.
Ladies: Don't fret if you're not feeling desire right away. Enjoy the process of becoming aroused. A vibrator can help with that, she advises. "After menopause, they may need a more intense vibration, at least initially, if a woman hasn't been sexual in awhile. She may need a vibrator."
If vaginal dryness and pain are issues, look into topical lubricants and moisturizers, Foley adds.
Many vaginal products contain estrogen (which can come in cream, vaginal ring, and vaginal tablet formulation), which helps with dryness, irritation, and muscle tone in the area. If you cannot take estrogen, products like Replens or K-Y Jelly can help with lubrication.
Try a Marriage Retreat
Keeping your marriage on track — sexually and otherwise — requires good communications skills, Solee adds. A therapist can guide you toward improving those skills, possibly recommending a marriage retreat.
"It's not our differences that pull us apart, it's how we handle them," she tells WebMD. "You need to really listen to your partner in a way he knows you love and respect him. Take a marriage cruise or retreat or a wilderness workshop. Learn to disagree in ways that breed joy and intimacy." Marriage education classes are also held in local community centers, churches, and military bases, she adds.
Some workshops are intense group therapy for couples. "Some are enrichment weekends — you learn to massage each others' feet, or talk about sensuality. It depends on how deep your rift is, whether a therapist would recommend a lighter or deeper workshop," Schwartz says.
Group therapy lets you see the relationship more clearly. "Often, people find it easier to give empathy to other people than to each other," she explains. "But once empathy is in the room, it kind of fills the room. It helps you give it to each other."
You learn from other couples in the room, Schwartz adds. "Some people give voice to something you haven't been able to. It's different if it doesn't come from an authority figure. It becomes a discussion among equals. Other people can see things you may not see. If everybody looks at you and says, 'Why are you being so hard on her?' everything changes. You suddenly see, whoa, I am."
Labels: Are You Spouses or Just Roommates?
How To Keep Your Sex Life Alive in Your Marriage
By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com
Sex doesn't have to get boring in marriage. As the years go by, your sex life should get better. Here are some ways to keep your marriage and sex life fresh.
Communication is the key to a healthy and active sex life in a marital relationship, so talk with one another more!
Share with one another your sexual desires.
Talk with one another about your expectations concerning lovemaking. False or unmet expectations can hurt your marriage.
Sexual intimacy is a continuing process of discovery. True intimacy through communication is what makes sex great.
Sex in a long lasting relationship can deepen and become a richer experience. No matter how many times you have made love to each other, the wonder and awe of mutual attraction can still be there.
When life becomes busy, and schedules are hectic, plan for sexual encounters with one another. Make sex one of your main priorities.
Try to set the mood in advance.
If you want to have good sex at night, start the foreplay in the morning.
Let your spouse know you care and are thinking about him/her throughout the day by notes, e-mails, phone calls, hugs, etc.
Tips:
Being grouchy all day or ignoring your spouse during the day hurts your chances of having a positive lovemaking experience that evening.
Remember that sex isn't going to be perfect each time. Don't compare your sex life to the ones you see in movies or on television.
Recognize that abstinence now and then can be beneficial to your relationship if you start to lust after one another more.
What You Need:
Good Communication
Love for Each Other
Willingness to Make Time for Each Other
Labels: How To Keep Your Sex Life Alive in Your Marriage
Top 15 Tips to Improve Your Sex Life
by Excommunicada Illustrada, May 18, 2009
The Home Remedies Handbook presented various solutions to many medical problems. It is written by John H. Renner, M. D. and other members of Consumer Health Information Research Institute. Here I present to you the top 15 tips to improve your sex life.
In men, there are many degrees of erectile difficulties due to physical health and emotional health problem when they are aging. If the man's problem is emotional in nature, maybe this tips from the handbook can help. On the other hand, if it is a medical problem, there are new surgeries and therapies could restore your physical health.
What are these 15 tips to improve your sexual health?
Make sex a less threatening experience. Do not dwell on the anxiety over the occasions of your erectile problems.
Spice up your sex life. Go to the motel or hotel. Buy your wife a new lingerie. Forget the daily routine in having sex.
Stress can be a major factor on your low performance. Get a good sleep and try to relax everyday.
Marital or relationship difficulties are major factor to sexual problems according to Raul C. Shiavi, M. D. You have to verbalize your emotions not in terms of accusations.
Communicate each other in what you would like in sexual situations.
Do not drink any alcoholic beverage before sex because it would impair your sexual function according to Raul C. Shiavi, M. D.
Always remember your successful sexual experience to have confidence in yourself.
The involvement of your sex partner can give a good solution to your sexual difficulties.
Do not feel guilty about your sexual provblems. You are not abnormal.
Read good and appropriate materials about sex. They can really help by adding some insights.
It is not just the size of the penis. It is the creativity during sex that gives you satisfaction.
Avoid aphrodistacs or Spanish Fly. These drugs can be very dangerous and the condition can be fatal.
Employ sexual fantasy during sex to enhance sexual arousal.
Why not try to masturbate to ease your anxiety over your sexual performance?
Do no be afraid to seek professional help such as sex therapist.
Labels: Top 15 Tips to Improve Your Sex Life
Improve your sex life
Elizabeth Cullen
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With incentives like easier to achieve orgasms, increased flexibility and muscle tone, and an overall ‘wow’ factor that will leave him reeling, the exercises below are sure to make you unforgettable in bed. Improve your sex life now!
IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE: BECOME A KEGEL MASTER
Why: Launched into the public consciousness by physician Arnold Kegel in the 1940s, a kegel is an exercise that strengthens your pelvic floor muscles, including the all-important pubococcygeus (PC) muscle, allowing you to have a stronger, more toned vagina.
Consider another perk of the kegel: the tension created by contracting the muscles causes blood to flow to the pelvic region, heightening your sexual arousal and potential for longer, more glass-shattering orgasms.
“Most men say that nothing compares to being with a woman who feels tight during the in-and-out, which is a direct result of squeezing and releasing the PC muscle during sex,” says Amy Levine, M.A., a certified sexuality educator and the founder of the website sexedsolutions.com.
”Not to mention, the tighter you can grip his penis with your vagina, the more you'll experience the sensation of being filled, even if he's on the smaller side.”
How: First locate your PC muscle by either clenching the muscle you use to stop urinating midstream. When you have the feel of things, practice contracting the muscle 3 times a day at 10 reps each, holding each contraction for at least 3 seconds.
IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE: MAKE LIKE A CAMEL…
Why: Because becoming loose in yoga class translates to letting loose in between the sheets.
“The more flexible you are, the more fun you'll have experimenting with positions,” says Levine. “And since many of us are more likely to orgasm when an erogenous spot is stimulated by a certain angle, the better able you’ll be to get into those Cirque du Soleil-like positions.”
How: Tight hip flexors can cause pain during sex, so poses that open them up such as Ustrasana, also known as Camel Pose, can help improve sexual agility.
Recommended for beginners, Camel is a backbend pose resembling a woman on top position. To do this, come up onto your knees from sitting and begin reaching the hands upward along the sides of your body as you start to open the chest. Very carefully reach your hands backward one at a time and try to grab your heels. Bring your hips forward so they are over the hips. Let your head come back, opening the throat. Hold for 5 seconds.
WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, SHAKE YOUR BOOTY:
Why: “If a woman is unhappy with her figure, exercising in general will help her to embrace her body and be more relaxed in the bedroom, resulting in a Big O,” notes Yvonne K. Fulbright, author of Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.
While belly dancing and strip aerobics classes are among the latest in cardio fads, (and have the added bonus of a performance element which can be later be utilized in the bedroom) any workout that gets you sweaty and increases your stamina is beneficial.
How: At home, try dancing alongside Carmen Electra in her Aerobic Striptease series or with the ladies of the Ultimate Bellydance Fitness Workout.
MORE SEXY EXERCISES AND WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE:
Tantric sex
Three more reasons to exercise
Restart your sex drive
Labels: Improve your sex life
Dr. Berman Answers Your Sex Questions
Sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman addresses your questions, and there's nothing off limits!
How can I help my husband to enjoy sex more?
What's the best vibrator for a G-spot orgasm?
After a radical hysterectomy, I've lost my sex drive. Any suggestions?
I was sexually abused as a child. How do I keep that from negatively affecting my sex life?
Is it possible to not have a clitoris?
Is female ejaculation real?
I was raped for 11 years. I've done a lot of healing, but my sex drive is still suffering. How can I break free?
What do I need to do to achieve a vaginal orgasm?
I lost my desire for sex after having a baby. What can I do to jump-start my sex drive?
My husband is turned off by kissing, but I love it. Is there anything he can do to get over it?
How can my husband and I talk to you or find a good sex therapist in our area?
I was a virgin until marriage, and now that I'm married I don't desire sex. How can I start to feel more sexual?
Help! I've never had an orgasm.
I am in premenopause. Is there anything I can do about vaginal dryness?
My husband was sexually abused as a child. How do we go about seeking help and developing a sex life not destroyed by the past?
How can I get my husband to stop acting like a child and start being a man so that I can be sexually attracted to him?
A Message from Dr. Berman
I wish I could stay here all night and keep answering all the amazing questions. Thank you everyone for posting them and sharing your stories. I will try to come back another time and get to more of you. Until then, don't be scared and sweep these problems under the rug. You were brave enough to come out today, and they aren't going to go away on their own. You deserve the love and intimacy you desire, and it is always possible to get there, especially when both you and your partner are motivated to do so—so get the help you need. Thank you for watching, and here's to great sex. You deserve it!
—Dr. Berman
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Labels: Dr. Berman Answers Your Sex Questions
5 food tips to improve your sex life
June 18, 10:35 AM
Mother Nature's sweets equals a sweet sex life
Face it. When I say Food and Sex, most people’s naughty little minds go straight to their own version of the movie “9 ½ Weeks.” I mean who wouldn’t, right? I have to admit, put those two words together and my mind wanders straight into strawberries, blindfolds and a tub full of warm chocolate pudding… OK, maybe that’s just me.
But, there’s a LOT more to the whole food / sex relationship than just smothering it all over your bodies.
Instead of screwing each other, you could be screwing yourself by what you ARE or AREN’T putting in that lovely little pie hole of yours….
Think about it.
Ever felt like your sex drive is in park? So damn tired that the idea of sex is right up there on the fun scale with sliding down a fifty foot razor blade?
Have you become more romantically involved with the TV remote than with your partner?
Or have you looked at your loved one and actually thought that you’d rather be eating a cheeseburger / candy bar / bag of potato chips / whole pizza / all of the above instead of playing “hide the Sausage?”
Do you sometimes feel about as attractive and energetic as a rotting banana?
Yeah, yeah… Haven’t we all?
But, chances are if you make a few small changes as to what you put in your mouth, you may find a little more excitement in the sack as well.
ZINC WILL BRING ZEST BACK TO SEX
We’ve all heard of Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love, right? Well, part of her myth says that she gave birth to her son, EROS, in an oyster shell, which started the whole oysters equals hot, horny lovin’ stories. BUT what you probably did NOT know is that there IS actually truth to the whole oyster / aphrodisiacs tale. Oysters are loaded with the mineral ZINC, which is the number one nutrient most associated with sex and for good reason.
Zinc plays a key role in testosterone production. And this is important for both MEN and WOMEN. If you zinc levels are low, then that means lower sex drives for the both of you. And if you’re drinking a lot of caffeine, alcohol or smoking, this could be you, as these things increase the need for zinc. But the higher the zinc, the hornier you are. Plus the added bonus that it helps sperm production. Good news for those of you hoping to make some puppies of your own.
So make sure to add LEAN red meat, fish and shellfish, some poultry and eggs, lentils, brown rice and green leafy veggies to your diet, all super rich in zinc… But remember, the NUMBER ONE Zinc food is still the oyster, so slurp some of those down! (And no, snorting the Zycam won't help.)
SOY – A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND
I know for some people, SOY products, like tofu and soy milk, sound like some weird, hippy dippy food you eat while living on a commune and never shaving your armpit hair. Well, that’s an old idea that needs to be thrown out with that smelly old pair of Birkenstocks! Soy is great protein, low fat AND has phytoestrogens, which keeps mean old PMS and nasty ass menopause at bay. And that’s good because soy binds to your estrogen receptors which keeps special lady parts nice and lubed...an added little bonus for when the mood hits! (That goes for men too, as soy is a very good friend to the prostrate, an all important male sex organ.) So double that edemame order when you run off for sushi.
CHILIES CAN TAKE THE “CHILL” OUT OF YOUR BEDROOM
Capsaicin, that thing in chilies that packs the HOT punch may also be the thing that releases endorphins, our happy chemicals. So eating some chili pepper (GINGER too) can not only stimulate your tongue, but all parts south of the border.
A HEALTHY HEART = HEALTHY SEX
You knew you weren’t going to get away without hearing how important it is to take care of your heart. Keeping the blood pumping nice and steady will keep the two of you pumping nice and steady in the sack as well. Because if you or your partner are eating super crappy food, you’ll not only gain weight, but your libido will go down the toilet to boot.
Too much fat can clog arteries and in turn prevent the blood from making it downtown to Loveville. Eating too many cheeseburgers? Well, NO WONDER you don’t want to have sex. Not only are you not getting enough blood flowing to get your sex drive to rev up, but you’re probably also just feeling unattractive. And THAT is a HUGE sexual appetite suppressant. Making sure you have a ton of green leafy veggies, and fruits like bananas will help your mood and your ‘tude.
SWEETS FOR THE SWEET
Speaking of bananas; fruit is Mother Nature's way of keeping sex sweet. Eating fruits like pineapple, strawberries, kiwi and blueberries will not only help you feel better, but it will make you ahem, taste better. Pineapple has been known to make a man's semen taste sweeter. But that also goes for the ladies. Getting several portions of fruit a day will help keep a woman's kitty sweet and ready for love.
Now more than ever is there a reason to LOVE food.
BON APPETIT.
Labels: 5 food tips to improve your sex life
Improve Your Sex Life with Yoga
:: By Kate Hanley
You already know yoga can give you greater flexibility, better muscle tone, a surefire way to release stress, and maybe even enlightenment. But better sex? Really? You betcha. Yoga offers myriad physical and emotional benefits that add up to more fun between the sheets and a more fulfilling, meaningful sexual relationship with your partner.
Whether heating up your sex life is the main goal of your yoga practice or just a happy side effect, chalk this information up as yet another great reason to roll out the mat. Here are the major ways it works:
Sensuality
On a more subtle level, yoga helps you develop an awareness of sensations in your body. Learning to feel the weight rolling into the inside edges of your palms in downward dog, for example, teaches you to savor every sensation in your body — including the really delicious ones that happen during sex. It also helps keep you rooted in your body and out of your head, where your swirling thoughts can keep you from enjoying the experience at hand, whether it’s in class, out with friends or between the sheets.
Confidence
A recent study shows that people who practice yoga gain less weight as they age than people who don’t do yoga at all. And while feeling more fit is an undeniable turn-on, a sustained yoga practice also encourages you to develop a reverence for your body.
Energy
Raise your hand if you’ve ever dozed off during sex, or felt the stirrings of arousal but were so tired you opted for bed instead. According to a recent survey by the National Sleep Foundation, a full third of women say tiredness causes them to cut back on sex. And a 2004 clinical study at Harvard Medical School showed that just eight weeks of a simple at-home yoga practice significantly improved sleep quality for the toughest audience — chronic insomniacs. It’s a simple exercise to connect the dots — practice yoga, sleep better, have more sex.
Intimacy
Yoga’s effects transcend the physical. It helps us become more comfortable in vulnerable positions — whether it’s a full backbend during class or a heart-to-heart conversation in bed at night.
Better Orgasms
On a purely physical level, many yoga poses — such as upavista konasana, or wide-legged straddle pose — increase blood flow to the pelvis. In our sedentary world, the muscles that run through the pelvis are chronically constricted. Another crucial aspect of yoga involves engaging and drawing up the muscles of the pelvic floor (known in Sanskrit as mula bandha, or root lock), which strengthens the muscles that play an integral role in orgasm.
Specific Poses
Here are two of the many yoga poses that can help boost your enjoyment in the boudoir:
Upavista Konasana (Wide Straddle Forward Bend)
How to do it: Sit on the floor with your legs wide. Leg muscles are activated and toes and kneecaps point straight up. Lean your torso forward as far as it goes comfortably. Hold for 5 to 10 deep breaths.
Sexual Benefits: Increases blood flow (and thus sensation) in the pelvis.
Baddha Konasana (Bound Angle Pose, also known as Cobbler’s Pose)
How to do it: Sit with your knees bent and soles of the feet touching. Lightly hold your big toes and lean your torso forward over your legs (back is gently rounded). Hold for 5 to 10 deep breaths.
Sexual benefits: Alleviates urinary and uterine disorders. Strengthens the uterus. Eases irritability, anxiety and fatigue, three reasons we might choose not to have sex.
Labels: Improve Your Sex Life with Yoga
How to improve your relationship
Written by Dr Christine Webber, psychotherapist and lifecoach
Do you have problems in your relationship?
When things are not going well in a sexual and romantic relationship, it can really help if both partners try to understand why. If you are in a relationship that's in trouble, ask yourself the following questions.
What do you each want out of the relationship? Are you getting it?
Are you about to leave your partner? Or do you still enjoy your life together?
Are you ready to sacrifice time and energy to make your relationship work again?
Do you still love each other?
Your answers to these questions will help you pinpoint the extent of the problem and your expectations for change.
While every couple is different, below are some common causes of relationship difficulties and ways to tackle. However, it's unlikely things will improve if both partners aren't prepared to work through the issues.
Part 1: How can you improve your relationship?
Stop the blame game
When things are going badly, couples tend to ask who is at fault and which of them is to blame. Neither of these questions are helpful.
It's better by far for both partners to accept that they share joint responsibility for the relationship, and to agree that when they are having problems they should work at them together.
Find time to work on your relationship
In today’s busy, modern world, you need to find time for each other. This is not easy if you both have hectic careers, and becomes even more difficult when you have children.
But if you have established a will to make things better, then you need to look at your joint schedules and find time when you can be together.
If you don’t find time, improvement will be slow or non-existent.
As a therapist, I often take calls from couples who want to come for therapy to improve aspects of their relationship, but who then cannot find a mutually convenient time to fit in an appointment. This is ludicrous.
It suggests both the relationship and the work needed on it is a low priority.
If you can make time to talk and to be together, you may well overcome your difficulties.
Change the way you communicate
Frequently, couples stop making an effort with each other. They may insult each other or take each other for granted.
Suppose the door bell rings. One partner may yell at the other: ‘Get that will you?’ It doesn’t take much effort to add the word ‘please’ or to ask in a different way, such as: ‘Would you mind answering the door?’
This may sound a small point, and maybe an old-fashioned one, but when couples bellow demands at each other, it sounds abrasive and disrespectful.
When aggression becomes a habit, it can seriously damage the romance in a relationship.
Dr Jack Dominian is a psychiatrist who has had a long and distinguished career in the treatment of relationship problems. He says a couple should eliminate one phrase from their vocabulary: 'the trouble with you is…’.
I would add that sarcasm is unpleasant and unproductive. It invariably leads to one partner feeling ‘put down’, which isn't a good emotional state for a healthy relationship.
The key thing here is that you should make sure you show each other the respect that you did when you first met.
Make an effort for each other
Lack of respect can also be shown in appearances. It’s very sad that couples often stop making an effort with how they look.
A small thing like changing work clothes for something brighter for dinner – and the woman putting on some make-up and the man having a shave – can transform a routine evening into more of an occasion.
Try the 10-minute rule
Men often say: ‘She just wants to go on and on about things, and it drives me mad.’ While women say: ‘We never talk.’ Both parties cannot be right!
If you and your partner are struggling to discuss the things that matter to you both, it’s a good idea to deploy the 10-minute rule.
One partner has his or her say for 10 minutes. During this time the other partner listens and does not interrupt.
After 10 minutes, the second partner takes the floor for 10 minutes. Men, in particular, appreciate the chance to have their say without interruption and with the guarantee that the conversation will not go on all night.
After both of you have had your say, have a further 10 minutes between you.
The whole discussion should be over in 30 minutes.
If both parties agree to carry on with the conversation, that’s fine, but it should never go on for more than an hour.
If you both know that you have limited time, you will be more concise, and hopefully spare each other any histrionic behaviour.
So, simple things like talking to each other with respect, being smart and fragrant for your partner and using the 10-minute rule can give a big lift to your relationship. But what else is there?
Have an evening out
Try to have one evening out per week, just the two of you. If you have children this is more difficult to arrange, but it’s not impossible. And when you have this ‘date’, avoid talking about your offspring or work.
Socialise as a couple
Another good thing to do is to make sure that you get some friends round on a regular basis, even if it’s just for a takeaway or supper round the kitchen table.
You’ll have a good laugh, and if these friends have known you since the beginning of your relationship, it will remind you of happier days and you’ll feel younger and more carefree.
Call in the professionals
If your relationship is in real trouble and none of the above suggestions help significantly, you might want to consider having some relationship therapy.
The obvious place to go for this in the UK is Relate, who offer low-cost, face-to-face counselling. Additionally, they offer email or phone counselling.
No matter where you live in the UK, there is likely to be a branch of Relate near you.
You can also opt to go to a private therapist. This will cost more, but usually allow you to be more in control of when you go, how many sessions you have and so on.
Part 2: How can you improve your sex life?
Look at the whole relationship
It is unlikely that a sex life in trouble will improve greatly if work is not put in on the whole relationship.
Of course, there are times when both partners may be steamed up and the sex works wonderfully. But apart from these spontaneous and happy times, couples often complain that they don’t make love as much as they did, or that one or both partners have lost the urge.
Increasingly we are seeing couples – men as well as women – who have little interest in sex. Fatigue is often the main culprit here. Many people now work such long hours that they feel permanently exhausted.
Often a loss of libido can be about resentment or a pervading sense of unhappiness with the relationship itself.
For example, a man may lose interest in sex if the woman is very aggressive in bed or out, nags him to do better sexually, or if she keeps complaining that he doesn’t do his share of the housework.
And a woman may feel a lack of interest sexually for similar reasons, including a perception that her man never says he loves her unless he wants sex.
So, I cannot emphasise enough that before you look at your sex life, you should look more generally at your relationship.
Having done that, there are plenty of ways in which you can liven up your sex life.
You might want to take turns in running the sex session. In other words, the man may make all the suggestions one night and the woman another. This often leads to much greater variety.
A short break away is always a good bet for enlivening a relationship. I did a survey once in which 96 per cent of women told me they felt sexier when they were on holiday – even just a short weekend break.
You might use fantasies, always supposing that the same sorts of things turn you on.
You might read erotica to each other before, or even during, sex.
Some couples enjoy porn together – usually videos of attractive couples making love.
Some couples like to dress up or to use vibrators or other sex toys. They might also enjoy reading sex manuals on different sexual positions, or dressing up in sexy lingerie.
There are some very good sex shops online that are attractive to women and cater for all these sorts of products. Some of the best are:
Gash
Passion 8
Sh!
Tickled.
What if one of us has a medical problem that's stopping sex?
The above advice assumes that neither partner has a serious sex problem such as premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, pain during intercourse or difficulty getting an erection.
If you have a problem that makes sex difficult, there are therapists who can help and there are articles on all these conditions elsewhere on this website.
When to seek professional help
If you think your sex-life has become stale and boring, and none of the above suggestions appeal, you might also benefit from some sex therapy.
Some therapists specialise in helping couples by teaching them techniques where intercourse is banned for a while so that the couple can enjoy touching, stroking and other forms of love play. This can have a dramatic effect on a flagging relationship.
If you want to contact a specialist in sex and relationship therapy, go to someone properly qualified such as:
a Relate counsellor who is trained in psychosexual matters
a private therapist who is a fully accredited member of the British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy
a doctor who is a member of the Institute of Psychosexual Medicine.
My partner's had an affair
Finally, you may be reading this article because one of you has had an affair, and you are now trying to rebuild your relationship in and out of bed.
This will be a rocky time for you, so some Relate or other relationship counselling could prove beneficial.
You need to rebuild trust too, so please realise that things are unlikely to improve instantly. These things take time, but are well worth working at.
Labels: How to improve your relationship
20 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life
by Nancy Evans, Editor-in-Chief, iVillage
One thing is happily clear: Women are not about to take the waning of sex lying down! They're inventing all kinds of ways to keep the good times (and good feelings) rolling. Just take a look at the 20 great ideas below. It must be that we've gotten tired of being "tired." We want -- oh yes -- a little fun. Enjoy.
1. Pretend you just met him
"When our sex life started to slow down, I started thinking about how another woman would see my husband if she just met him -- and this made me want to impress him. I did things like buying new lingerie, getting up just a little earlier than usual to join him in the shower or making time to play later in the tub. We totally rediscovered each other's sexiness after that."
2. Tease each other
"Sometimes, when my husband and I wake up and hear the kids, we start kissing and caressing anyway. Of course we don't continue, but we get all worked up and then go all day stealing little looks and kisses. Sure, we could duck away and end the torture, but I think that secretly, we both enjoy this little dance. It definitely keeps things exciting!"
3. Act on your moods
"My problem was that even if I was in the mood when my husband was at work, by the time he got home I'd be too exhausted. It started to get so frustrating! Then, I figured out a plan. Every time I get in the mood during the middle of the day, I put a blindfold or something suggestive under his pillow. Even though I may be too tired to initiate sex later, he finds my little clue and definitely gets the message."
4. Get high-tech
"I've started emailing my husband sexy fantasy scenarios on his personal email account. This really helps me to get brave. Because sometimes, I just feel silly showing him my sexual side when we're face-to- face. Plus, getting his mind going like that has certainly has paid off."
5. Rent an "adult" video
"There are so many helpful sex videos available that are not intimidating at all. The one I like is narrated by a sex therapist; it's instructional in nature. You learn how to effectively stimulate someone, but on a really nonthreatening level."
6. Take real life and shove it
"My husband and I were always too busy for love. Finally, one night we were getting serious about fooling around and what happened? The phone rang! Even though he picked it up, I decided to take matters into my own hands, and kept right on kissing him, all over. I loved that power, and he went wild too -- when he finally got off the phone."
7. Be at each other's mercy
"Once I whispered in my significant other's ear to take hold of my hand. Then I told him I was going to close my eyes and he had to place my hand anywhere on his body. Then I massaged whatever area it was. He was kind of in control, but ultimately I controlled the pleasure."
8. Surprise him -- and yourself!
"I flashed my husband when he got home from work last night. Enough said, right?"
9. Heat up the outdoors
"We like to pack a picnic and head to our favorite secluded spot. Sometimes we even get to go skinny dipping there. When you try it don't forget a blanket or sleeping bag, pillows and bug spray because you're sure in for a long night! Of course, city dwellers can picnic too. Just create a hideaway spot on your bedroom floor!"
10. Be aggressive
"Telling my husband what to do in bed is very erotic. Although I wouldn't want a puppy dog for a husband all the time, it is so much fun to say what I want, when and how. Then there is seeing his response! He might get even more turned on than me."
11. Share (racy) compliments
"Once my husband and I were going to fool around in front of a mirror. He stood behind me and slowly undressed me. But as he moved along he told me how beautiful each part of my body is. Let me tell you, I didn't mind a bit. Compliments are a wonderful way to heat up any situation. The next time we made love I gave him a few of my own!"
12. Do a little dance
"I know that lots of women feel comfortable doing a striptease, but I'm way too shy to try it. I have my own version of one. I just dance for my fiancé, making him want to touch me, but never let him. After I've taken off just a few items of clothing, I let him do the rest! It's all at my speed, and he loves it! In the end, we're both very happy."
13. Go to a "toy store" together.
"My husband and I had planned a real date, just the two of us. We dressed up and hit the town. After dinner, I was sure the night was finished, but he had a detour planned. We pulled right into a sex store! I think if he gave me time to think about it, I'd have chickened out. But instead, we walked through the whole store -- and it was very exciting! I think that I even managed to control the blushing until we left."
14. Slip into something more comfortable
"One night, after my boyfriend and I went out dancing, he offered to get take-out and bring it back to my place. While he was gone, I decided to make the room -- and myself -- more 'comfortable.' This meant lighting candles, putting on a long satin nightgown, and spraying room freshener. I didn't plan on taking it further, but when he walked in with the food, I saw his eyes jump. So I decided to walk over to him seductively. I pressed my body up to his, and whispered into his ear, 'I have wanted you so badly all night.' That's when his mouth hit the floor, along with the food!"
15. Spend intimate time together
"Read a chapter of a book together every night. You can eat grapes, drink wine, even incorporate adult toys or choose to read erotic literature to each other. But for my husband and me, this is all about making an effort to touch, cuddle and spend intimate time together. That leads to an exciting evening no matter what!"
16. Appeal to all his senses
"I have been known to put cinnamon on a cookie sheet, turn the oven on and leave the door open a bit. This fills the house with the smell of chocolate chip cookies and puts my husband in a really good mood. 350 degrees usually does the trick!"
17. Get -- and give -- sneak previews
"What I like best is when my boyfriend and I describe what we're about to do to each other before doing it. As he talks, I can practically feel what will happen to my body. Talk about a double whammy. When he finally does it, I go through the roof! "
18. Make a bedroom rule "There is one standing 'rule' in our bedroom. We are not allowed to use the same position more than once in a week. Of course we break the rule, but not often, and it generally keeps us from getting into a boring sexual routine."
19. Make a game of it
"I challenge my boyfriend to a game of basketball when things get dull. Whoever wins gets whatever he or she wants. Plus, you could make it a full body contact sport."
20. End boredom with a routine
"We always celebrate the new year with sex! We've tried to time our orgasms so they both strike right at midnight, but haven't been able to yet. The good news is that we just get to keep trying next year!"
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Labels: 20 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life
Better sex helps to build and maintain happy relationships.
Sex is sometimes an obsessive desire, sometimes a forceful need, but always the only common pleasure... Having sex is the nature's basic command and the most important activity of the humanity, but also a natural and romantic way of expressing feelings between two people.
A great sex performance needs passion, intimacy, commitment… if your lover doesn't care about your sexual satisfaction, it's almost impossible to have a happy and lasting relationship. A relationship without good and devoted sex, will always fail!
Amy's full guide to better sex and happy relationships
Maximize pleasures, satisfactions and happiness!
Amy's Tutorial is a full guide to better sex and happy relationships. You can instantly access to best tips, tricks, advanced techniques, useful positions, pro methods and vital advice on how to improve your sexual skills, increase passion, maximize pleasures, satisfactions and happiness. You will feel yourself sexy and confident like an expert, like a sex goddess!
Venus at her Mirror - Diego Velázquez 1599-1660
Amy Guven is founder partner (photo) of Vitalinfocenter.com since 2000 and the author of the famous Amy's Tutorial - Reshape Your Womanhood! Including all vital sex tips, tricks, advanced techniques and pro methods of how to make better sex, and being highly successful as a reference book, Amy's Better Sex and Relationships Tutorial aims to help people have better sex and happy relationships.
God created sex. Priests created marriage - Voltaire
Now you will find out how to make better sex and create happy relationships!
Don't listen to Woody Allen, or maybe only before a threesome fantasy: Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful, provided you get between the right man and woman!
Besides many practical, useful and exciting lovemaking tricks, there are lots of clever tips, advanced techniques, special - purposeful positions, and pro methods that you will instantly learn by reading Amy's Better Sex and Relationships Tutorial. Here are a few of them:
» Effective methods of refreshing your tired partner;
» How to make him very satisfied quickly when you are too tired;
» How to turn that old, routine, mostly boring foreplay activities into exciting games;
» How to achieve firmer erections and avoid premature ejaculations;
» How to improve semen - sperm taste for gourmets;
» How to make her secretions tasty too;
» How your throat will blow his mind in a pro blowjob method;
» More reason to use mirrors in your bedroom;
» Which g-spot stimulated by your lubricated finger will make him achieve orgasm quickly;
» Simple tricks to make her achieve intense orgasms in every session;
» Before he is ejaculating, where and how to touch to make him shoot off as fireworks;
» How to train your vaginal muscles to cheer up your partner's sex life;
» How to use your hand and fingers while he is inside you to excite him more;
» How to use toys, lubricants and different sex positions to produce maximum pleasures;
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From Chapters...
The bold + of Oral Sex: Deepthroat tips, techniques, pro methods...
Expertise in oral sex is the most desired skill to produce great pleasures and only few people really able to master this complex technique accurately, furthermore only rare experts can perform deepthroat effectively! Without doubt the ability of deepthroating is the biggest plus of oral sex – fellatio performance, a high technique to prove, to certify the perfection of your sexual skills.
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How to improve Semen - Sperm taste for Gourmets!
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Great Orgasm Starters - Women and Men's G-spots
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For women having difficulty in achieving orgasm, g-spot stimulation may be a highly effective solution. Proper massage and combined stimulation of g-spots and sensitive genital area will generously help to create excellent pleasures and great orgasms. Learn pro methods of how to locate and stimulate women and men's g-spots and realize orgasmic explosions!
Amy's Better Sex and Relationships Tutorial | List of Chapters
Cleanliness | Training pelvic muscles | Dressing for sex | Acting like another woman Playing with sex toys | Lubricants for pleasure | Manhood - What is a man? | Men's g-spots | Erotic massage & Masturbation techniques | Hand & Foot job tips | Perfect Fellatio · Oral love | Deep Throat - the bold + of Oral Sex | Semen · sperm taste for Gourmets | Irresistible call of tightness: Full Anal Sex pleasures | How to add spice and sizzle into standard intercourse positions | Two + one: Threesome fantasy 4 techniques and positions for women's orgasm | Amy's vital advice to secure long-lasting relationships.
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Anne (From Montreal)
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I even learned how to train my throat for deep throating. Thanks a lot!
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Labels: Better sex helps to build and maintain happy relationships.
Find Out How To Fix Your Marriage
By Chad Briggs
Is your marriage falling apart? Are you starting to fall out of love with your partner? There are some things we need to just stop hiding from and face in relationships. Everyone has their dreams of marriage. Most dream of the nice house with a white picket fence. Sometimes that dream turns into a nightmare. Marriages fall apart for so many different reasons.
Their is a difference between staying together and making it work. Staying together usually is done just for the kids. A lot of times it is worse on the kids and you. For example I know a couple that was doing that. They stayed together for the kids. They slept in different rooms and it made both of them miserable. When they did talk they would fight. Tell me when you were a kid would you rather see your parents separated and happy or together and miserable? Making it work is different. That is when a couple realize there is a problem and love each other enough to work through it. Sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn't. The main reason it doesn't is because people use the wrong methods. If your partner needs some time alone let them have it. Pick up a hobby. Just remember there is always hope.
Some of the reasons marriages fall apart are because of unresolved conflicts, affairs, sexual problems or lack of, constant fighting, communication problems, not enough time together, controlling partner, children, trial separations, and financial problems. Unresolved conflicts just lead to more problems and fighting. Learn to work through your problems by compromise. Affairs can be a finisher to any relationship. There are plenty of couples that work through them. One way is finding out why the affair happened and fixing the problem. Sometimes there is now way to fix it but most of the time there is. Sexual problems can lead to a lot larger problems. They are usually what leads to affairs. A lot of time it is lack of intimacy. If you and your partner are not being intimate there is bound to be sexual boredom.
Thats when people start looking around to see what else there is. Most of the time lack of intimacy is because of busy schedules. When you have full-time jobs and kids time can be hard to come by. Nobody likes fighting with their significant other. The reason you are so picky when finding someone you want to settle down with is because you don't want to have fights. A lot of times you can work through them. Find out what is causing these problems and try to figure out how to work through it. Nobody likes not having open communication with their partner. The key to fixing that problem is finding out how your partner communicates and communicating with them on that level. When you and your partner are not spending a lot of time together it gets frustrating. When you both work different shifts and have kids it can be draining.
One of the ways to work through is to try and find a job that has a similar schedule to your significant other. If you can not do that try and work out a schedule together that will allow you to manage your time better. That way you can get some more time together. Controlling partners are the worse type. Nobody likes being told. Controlling partners are the hardest to work through. They require a lot of time and effort. You need to first make your partner aware of their behavior. Financial problems can make life very stressful. Money is not everything but you need it to survive. With the price of gas and everything else going up it is beginning to get harder for the lower and middle class to make a living. The highest percent of divorces are from the lower and middle class.
Many people try to save their marriages but are unsuccessful. The 2 biggest mistakes are begging for another chance and trying to hard. Don't show your partner desperation that will only push them further away.
I know first hand. I was in a very serious relationship when I was younger. Until this day she was the only girl I can honestly say I loved. I lost her because I was stubborn and wouldn't make compromises to work through problems. I would just do what I want. She told me she did not want any more dogs so I just bought 2 Rottweilers and brought them home. At the end I tried to save the relationship by begging for another chance. It has been almost 3 years now. Now that I finally found the right techniques to getting her back I can't. We did not talk since a month after we broke up. She has since moved out of state with her sister and I have no way to get in touch with either one of them.
Do not make the same mistake I made. Click to my blog to find out more scenarios of how relationships failed with the stories of real couples. Click on the bottom of my blog to find out from a real expert how to fix your marriage.
Written by Chad
I work at home.
Labels: Find Out How To Fix Your Marriage
Fix My Marriage - 3 Super Steps to Keeping Your Marriage Fresh and Exciting.
Is your marriage experiencing tough challenges these days? Are you worried and anxious about what "could" happen to you and your marriage if you don't do something to resolving it. Do you find yourself asking the question over and over again... "How Can I fix My Broken Marriage?"
Well thankfully in this article, we are going to try to resolve just that. If you are asking the question, "How can I fix my marriage?", within this article we shall try to start you off in the right direction by focusing on certain areas in your relationship, like the romance between you and your partner.
The type of situation that you are trying to avoid, is to have your marriage become just another part of your daily routine. If you do feel that your relationship has reached this stage...(which is a common thing to happen by the way), then perhaps its time that you start looking to bring in the romantic excitement back into your relationship! How can this be achieve? Take a look at some of the steps below -
Keep Communication Flowing!
Perhaps one of the most important things to remember throughout your relationship is to be make sure that you keep the communication alive in your married life! Communication is essential to a healthy relationship! So whether you feel like telling your spouse how much they mean to you... or talking about what you are going to eat for tonight's dinner, its important to let your partner know what's on your mind. If there is a lack in communication, then this will only create unworthiness and a feeling of loneliness between you both.
Your Actions Always Speak Louder Than Words!
This statement has been true since the day it was born. Your actions do speak louder than words and they convey a more defined sense of communication than words! You see touching is a great form of intimacy that acts as a non-verbal form of communication. Holding hands, walking in the park with your arms around each other, or sitting on the couch with one another "talks" a lot without actually saying anything to each other.
Surprising One Another = Relationship Longevity!
Remember when you first started going out together? Part of the excitement in the beginning of the relationship was getting to know one another. As you kept seeing each other, you never knew what to expect from each other. There was always that element of surprise, excitement and curiosity! So just because a married couple has been together for sometime and they feel that they know one another better from spending a lot of time together, does not mean that they can not continue to surprise one another on a regular basis to keep the excitement & surprise alive. Its your duty to find new ways of surprising your partner on a consistent basis... So whether its a surprise romantic dinner for two, or an exciting picnic & walk in the park, you'll be keeping your relationship fresh and exciting for you both!
Fix My Marriage
This is an article on how to fix your marriage
Labels: Fix My Marriage - 3 Super Steps to Keeping Your Marriage Fresh and Exciting.
My Marriage Fixed
Read My Shocking Story and Why, After 12 years Of Marriage, Everything Seemed to be Falling Apart..
And How, After A Final, Desperate, Search Online I Finally Found a simple way to Fix Our Marriage and Make it Stronger Than Ever Before...
If you Landed on my little Blog to find a way to fix the problems in your marriage, to find tips or maybe even counseling to make your marriage work again, I am really happy you did. You see, I am sure I can help you, and by showing you what I did, I can point you in the right direction and probably save you a lot of money on marriage counceling fees, and still help you get a better result.
My name is Lisa Schneider, and Just a few months back, I and my husband were very close to become one more divorce statistic.. We have been married for 12 years, but George(my husband) had started to seem more distant...
Maybe you can relate.. he stayed at work much longer.. it almost seemed like he didn't want to come home at all.
I had the feeling he was the first to volunteer for business trips, Just to avoid me...I asked him what was going on, but could not get him to open up to me.
I Even asked if there was someone else, but he denied it...I wasn't sure I could believe in him anymore...
It was unbelievable..Everything was so great in the beggining..
We fell in love and married after Only 6 months.
We where both a little older, but we were so in love, almost like teenagers :)
I Remember I used to read about people getting divorced, and thanked God I would never have to go through that!
But Things change...Nothing stays the same.
I still Remember the evening that saved my marriage.
I was home, alone (it was almost like this every night by then) and I was sick and tired of watching TV by my self, so I decided to check a couple of online forums a friend of mine had suggested to see what other women had done to fix their marriages, maybe pick up a couple of tips and maybe find a marriage counseling site, or a marriage counselor in our area..(If I would be able to drag George there, but that is another story..)
Anyway, after a couple of posts , I read one particular that really caught my eye..
There was this lady ( I cant remember her name, but god bless her) that had found a site that helped here Rescue her marriage.She said that the information she got saved her, even though it had taken her a little time.
I really wanted to know what she was talking about so I clicked through the link
This is how I stumbled upon Amy's Website..
Her Way of explaining everything and make it easy to understand made me feel at ease right away.
after Reading about her system for a while, Browsing through what other people that had used her methods had to say
I decided to order her program . After all, This solution seemed easier than a counseling session, and not to mention a lot cheaper, and Amy Is so sure that she can help you, that she offer an unconditional 100% money back guarantee.
The system is Downloadable, so I did not have to wait for anything to arrive in the mail, but I got started Right away...
everything she said maid so much sense.
I read about many mistakes I had made, wich I thought would help me, but instead I was pushing George away, without me even knowing!
I decided to try some of the methods Amy Suggested and for the first time in months we had a sincere talk with George..
This was a huge step for me..for us!
I can't say that I and george are where we were 11 years ago, but we have already booked a trip abroad together, so we are deffinately on the right track!
A marriage is a difficult thing to fix once it takes the wrong turn, but it is soooo worth it.
I am sure Amy can help you too, she even had a special offer last time I checked where You get a email consultation that applies to your specific situation..Divorce is such a bad thing, It should be avoided at all costs!
Click here and Read more about Amy's Methods and see How she can do to help you too!
Good Luck
Lisa
Labels: My Marriage Fixed
How to Rebuild Your Marriage
By Devangini, eHow Member
Having a tough time with your spouse? Contemplating divorce? Well, there's no need to call it quits as yet. This step by step article will help you fix your marriage - for keeps!
Step
1
List your problems - one by one. These can be situations, or actual issues that have cropped up between the two of you. This will help you gain some perspective. Keep this list aside and look it again after a few days. Would you like to change how you have worded some of the issues; are you less agitated and more open to change now?
During this step, you may feel as if too much water has flown under the bridge and that there is no point in any of this. If you are still wondering what else you could have done for a happier marriage, it shows you still care.
Step
2
Categorise your problems. Are they family related, money related, social, career or others? This will help you understand the source of the problems.
Step
3
Now list the very same problems from his or her point of view. What do you think drove your spouse to a corner? This step will show you what you may be missing.
Step
4
Write a solution to each problem keeping in mind both perspectives. This can be a time taking exercise. The purpose of this step is to allow you the space and time to indulge in some problem sharing. If there is scope, you can discuss this with your spouse too - it will help him or her see how much you really care.
Step
5
Still feel like the other party is 'beyond caring'? Well, here's the thing - maybe the hurt is deeper than you can see. Start focusing on yourself - how can I change, how can I be happier? Take the focus off of changing your spouse's nature.
Once, your spouse sees the positive results of your actions, he or she will make an initiative too.
Step
6
Remember to keep the effort going from both ends. And throughout this process, it is important to appreciate each other's efforts and positive side - rather than the flaws. What you think, you attract - focus on the positive, and the negative will vanish!
Have a wonderful marriage!
Labels: How To Rebuild Your Marriage
Rx For a Troubled Marriage
by Donna Jackson
New Woman, March, 1998
Imagine you're on the phone catching up with a friend who says she can't stay in her marriage another minute. She's even called a few attorneys and a real estate agent - that's how bleak things are. Surely she should go, you say, as you listen to the awful details of her unhappiness.
Months pass. You talk again. She's decided to stay and try to work it out, she says. Oh, there are a hundred reasons: the kids; the financial realities of divorcing; the fact that on a good day she remembers she loved him once; and, mostly, she hopes it will be different between them - sometime soon.
You hang up the phone, sure of this: She'll be just as miserable a year from now as she is today. She's just making the best of a bad situation, poor thing.
What you expressly do not expect is the opposite scenario: to talk to her a year later and find that she and her husband have changed, worked things out, transformed their marriage into something far richer - they've found, truly, a new level of intimacy together. They are, shock of shocks, happy together after so much marital woe.
In this country, a couple divorces every 26 seconds. But what about the couples who teeter precariously near the brink of divorce and don't split up? Of course, we all know that some couples who opt not to separate are miserable together forever. And some marriages cannot and should not be saved (see box, "Should You Fight for Your Marriage?"). But, says Michele Weiner-Davis, author of Divorce Busting and the audiotape program based on her couples workshop, Keeping Love Alive, "I've seen many couples in my practice who nearly divorced - often after feeling as if they've been locked in a living hell together for years - and yet they're able to rebuild a marriage that is better than they could ever have imagined. They're often happier than other couples who never went through such a terrible close call." According to Weiner-Davis, this kind of reconciliation happens much more often than we as a society tend to think, and has much to teach us about the inner workings of a good marriage.
Although every women's tale of marital hell differs, all couples who nearly split come to the same bleak spot in the end: miserable, depressed, feeling betrayed, in turmoil, scared, defeated, furious, and in such pain that they feel as if they're being torn apart inside. What, then, enables some women to transform their marriages? What emotional tools do they use? Exactly what is a good enough reason upon which to base such a major life decision? To find out, we interviewed a number of women who nearly divorced - and didn't. Most of them stayed for one or more of the following reasons:
They See Some Good in the Bad.
According to Weiner-Davis, many of these women have just a glimmer of hope that their marriages can improve. Take Kathy, a 37-year-old Hollywood producer's assistant. "My husband and I were miserable together for years," she says. He'd been unfaithful to her before they got married, and she couldn't forgive him. "I was constantly jealous, and it made me bitter. Then, when we'd been married for a few years, he went to a bachelor party and let a prostitute sit on his lap and roam her hands all over him. I heard about it later, and I was merciless."
Things quickly escalated to the point where, during an argument, Kathy slapped Jack and he shoved her. "We had a three-year-old daughter, and I didn't want her to see us like this, so I told him to leave," says Kathy.
But something happened during their separation that gave Kathy a shred of hope. She and Jack decided to write letters to each other to work out the details of their divorce. "These letters were so clearly from a very kind person, someone very hurt, very confused - someone who was good through and through," she explains. Reading his letters, Kathy found herself hoping that things could be different between them. They eventually decided that Jack would move back in. "Even though it took a lot of sweat and tears, the really solid, good marriage we have now all started with that feeling of hope."
Their Husbands Also Engage-to Some Degree-in the Process.
Unfair as it seems, experts say it is usually the woman who decides to fight for the marriage. But no amount of dedication on her part is enough unless her husband is at least somewhat committed to the process. According to John Gottman, director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, and author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail...and How You Can Make Yours Last, "Often, a marriage succeeds or fails to the extent that a husband can accept influence from his wife." If he listens and responds to you in a way that keeps communication moving forward, your efforts stand a good chance of paying off. As Kathy says, "Jack showed up for every therapy appointment, he wrote me dozens of letters. None of what happened for us could have happened if he hadn't been actively involved in the process of trying to rebuild our marriage."
They Take a Leap of Faith.
Many of these women say they came to a place where they made a decision to work towards a better marriage even as the relationship was at its very worst. This leap of faith precipitated a cascade of changes within the marriage.
For Kathy, the leap of faith came after she'd spent time researching articles about how the kids of divorce cope. "The information I found out was not good at all. I realized I didn't want my child to be a child of divorce. I started wondering: Is there a way that you can live with a person you're having so many conflicted feelings about and let the resentments go? Once I made the decision to give our marriage everything I had, things began to change. Both of us seemed to have a new commitment to working things out." They agreed to see a therapist together, and eventually Kathy found someone who was "confrontational, but also kind. He flat out told us we were emotionally battering each other. He made rules: He told us we could not see each other except in his office because we were both too immature to talk things out on our own. He didn't want to hear about who had done what to whom. He wanted us to learn to back down. He taught us that if you want a good marriage, you give in when you're wrong - and when you're right. For the first time, I learned that I could be myself and have my strong opinions and still back off, give in. I didn't need to batter Jack emotionally until he agreed with me or pleaded for forgiveness."
Sometimes a new discovery or vital piece of information motivates a woman to take a leap of faith. As Weiner-Davis says, "Any reason for staying together is a good reason," assuming the couple wants to stay together. Whether it's religious faith or fear of the financial realities of divorce, "allowing your fears to give you pause can be a very positive survival skill," she adds.
They Issue an Ultimatum.
Peter Kramer, M.D., clinical professor of psychiatry at Brown University and author of Should You Leave? A Psychiatrist Explores Intimacy and Autonomy - The Nature of Advice, says that couples who stay together despite their grievances often learn to discern what the crucial issues are and how to stand up for them. Sometimes the ultimatum is nonverbal, for example, refusing to go to a company party or moving out of the bedroom.
Grace, a 54-year-old businesswomen married 39 years, tells how her marriage was saved by an ultimatum. "We were having trouble with one of our teenagers who was suddenly failing in school, and we went into family therapy. My husband had a drinking problem, and our family therapist said that if therapy was to work, he had to stop drinking. But he didn't. I told him if he didn't stop drinking and using alcohol as an emotional crutch to avoid the feelings that therapy was trying to help him realize, in three months I'd be gone." Grace's bold move worked.
They Learn to Accept Each Other's Limitations.
As important as it is that you take a stand on issues that are unacceptable to you, it's just as important to realize that in order to be happy with your partner, you don't necessarily have to like every single thing about him. "There is an illusion that either you'll be able to change all the things about your relationship that you don't like, or else you'll eventually feel good about the things you can't change," says Weiner-Davis. "But that's not true. You won't eventually feel better about your partner in every single way. You have to accept that - that's part of marriage."
According to Gottman, such acceptance is critical, given that most couples never resolve most of their key problems. And if they leave, they'd most likely find different but equally upsetting and unfixable problems with the next person. Which means, he suggests, couples need to learn to accept each other's limitations. According to Neil Jacobson, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Washington, research bears this out. A recent study about a new type of therapy called "integrative couple therapy" - which seeks to help partners accept each other's flaws and idiosyncrasies - boasts an 89 percent success rate at helping couples in trouble significantly improve their marriage. Advocates of integrative couple therapy say that dissimilarities between partners can be vehicles for intimacy - opportunities for couples to get closer once they feel fully accepted by each other.
They Find the Right Kind of Help.
For many women, an investment of time and money into a marriage education workshop brings on the necessary changes in their marriage. Georgia says she and her husband, Phil, were at the point where they only spoke when an issue came up that had to be addressed - with the house, or with one of their children. "If friends wanted to invite us to diner, they knew they had to call each of us separately because we just didn't talk." They had already been to three different marital therapists. There was clearly nothing left to do but divorce.
But then, as they began to call family members to tell them their sad news, one of Georgia's sisters told her about a marriage workshop that had turned around several marriages she knew of. She pleaded with Georgia and Phil to go. So Georgia and Phil attended a three-day course called Retrouvaille(for more information, see box, "Should You Fight for Your Marriage?"). At the end, says Georgia, "We liked the course so much we signed up for another marriage education course a few weeks later - and by the end of that one, we had decided we should stay together. We felt love for each other again. Suddenly we understood that neither of us was wrong or bad - we were just very different people and that was okay. It helped us both to stop judging and to accept the other person's uniqueness."
They Focus on Changing Themselves, Not Each Other.
There are some things we want in a relationship that we will never get from our partner. The solution, says Kramer, is "to find them - or develop them - in yourself." Sometimes our concerns about our partner's inadequacies might actually mask concerns about our own inadequacies. For instance, Kramer describes one couple where the women had initially been attracted to her husband because of his stability, his "salt of the earth" quality. However, after several years of marriage, she complained that he was staid, stodgy, boring, not willing enough to take risks, "not dynamic." But in truth, says Kramer, this particular woman was not very dynamic herself. When she realized this, she was able to accept him as he was. She let her anger at him go and began to work on her own feelings of social inadequacy.
Regardless of the path the women took to retrieve their marriages from the brink of divorce, they all shared one thing in common: They were overwhelmingly grateful that they had stayed. Perhaps Kathy expresses it best: "I'm finally in the place I've always dreamt of being: We used to be the bickering couple that might not show up at a party because we would be at home having a blowup. And now we're the opposite of that. I'm so glad I stayed; I'm glad for me, for Jack, for our daughter."
Should You Fight For Your Marriage
It's very hard to figure out whether to stay in your marriage or leave, though some cases seem more clear-cut than others - for example, those involving physical abuse or chronic drug abuse. Behavior that would be intolerable for one person might be a minor inconvenience for another, and many negative behaviors such as chronic criticism and blaming can be reversed. So how do you know if your marriage can be saved? According to Diane Sollee, director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education(C.M.F.C.E.) in Washington, D.C., a clearinghouse for information on marital education programs, you can't know much until you're sure you have done everything you can to save your marriage. Says Sollee: Most marriages don't break up over big issues, but rather due to "irreconcilable disappointments. People fall in love, and then, over time, all these little disappointments in each other break their hearts and the marriage breaks apart." In other words, two people simply become worn down by layers of resentment, and they are unaware of the tools that are available to help them. Eventually, divorce seems like an attractive solution. But according to Sollee, few suffering couples know about the wide range of excellent and highly successful educational marriage programs now available to equip them with a more realistic view of what to expect in marriage, and provide them with more efficient ways to handle inevitable conflicts and communication problems. Sollee's advice for couples in trouble is to start with one of the extremely helpful couples weekend programs around the country
Labels: Rx For a Troubled Marriage
Happiness in Marriage
In order to be happy in a relationship, we have to experience happiness as an individual first. Depending on another person for happiness seldom works. Being depended upon entirely for someone else's happiness is quite a burden for anybody to carry.
So in the event that our partner makes us unhappy, we have to determine whether it is worth losing sleep over. Ask yourself:
- Is it a matter of life and death?
- Does my ego have to prove that I am right?
- Even if I emerge the "winner" in the dispute, what are the long term consequences of having a fight? Will I "win" in the long run ? Is it worth it?
- Can I laugh it over?
- What would happen if I practiced humility and compassion instead? What would it do for me? What would it do for my partner?What would it do for our relationship?
- What would happen if I said sorry, even if I technically was not in the wrong? What would it do for me? What would it do for my partner? What would it do for our relationship?
The questions above help you determine whether it is worth losing your happiness over something trivial.
Strategies for Happiness
Simple Laughter Strategy
Have you ever wondered how some people seem to find humor in almost everything. Here's a simple strategy
1. Imagine that you are your favorite comedy character (I'll use Homer Simpson, of TV show The Simpsons here). Totally immerse yourself in the experience of being them.
2. Given a situation, what would Homer see, hear, feel and then say? Go on be silly about it.
That is it!
Here are a few of my favorite lines from the show...
Homer: Why do you think your mother and I sleep on the same bed?
Bart: Because we are poor?
Homer: Exactly...and we are poor because we have children.
Tarzan and Jane Playmates
Use the Simple Laughter Strategy to laugh yourself silly and be playful with your partner. People grow fond of people that they spend laughter-filled good times with. You become an anchor for fun, joyful feelings for your partner.
Try putting this one above every mirror in your house: "This person is not to be taken seriously!"
Instant Endorphine Release
1. Remember a time when you felt totally happy and at peace. Return fully to that time now, seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard and feeling how good you felt.
(If you can't remember a specific time, just imagine how much better your life would be if you were totally happy and peaceful right now - if you had all the peace, love and contentment you could ever want.)
2. Now make the colors brighter and richer, the sounds louder, and allow your feelings of happiness to intensify.
3. Notice where that feeling of happiness is strongest in your body Give this feeling of happiness a color, and move that color up to the top of your head and down
to the tip of your toes. Double the brightness. Double it again!
4. You can visualize the endorphins like little dolphins at play in your bloodstream, happily swimming from cell to cell. Or feel the flow of endorphins like a river of golden honey throughout your body.
5. Repeat steps 2-4 at least five more times. Vividly imagine in detail that event where you are happy, again and again You can use the same happy experience or add in new ones each time.
- More from Change your Life in 7 Days
Being in Present Time
The following is an NLP process.
1. Close your eyes.
2. Ask you unconscious mind, where your past memories are stored.
3. Ask your unconscious mind, where events that are meant to occur in the future are stored.
4. Connect both positions into a line, which then becomes your time line.
5. Let your unconscious mind transport all events that are meant for the PAST away from the NOW to the PAST.
6. Let your unconscious mind transport all events that are meant for the FUTURE away from the NOW to the FUTURE.
7. Enjoy the freedom that comes with being in the NOW.
8. Open your eyes and come to the room.
Being Grateful for What You Already Have
Complete the following sentences. It is best to write/type them out.
What I like about myself ...
What I have going pretty well in my life ...
What I like about my partner ...
I am grateful to Spirit/God from the bottom of my heart for all the above-mentioned blessings. I am so blessed and lucky! Thank you very much!
Smiling Practice
The mind and body are connected. your state of mind affects your body posture and vice versa. So practice smiling - nothing flashy, just a gentle slight smile. Before you go to bed, do it with a smile. Doing this as a habit actually shapes the muscles of your face so that you look like you are smiling naturally!
Singing
Singing is another activity that changes your state. Go on an whistle a tune or sing your favorite song.
Reframe a Negative Experience with Humor
Click here to find out how to reframe negative experiences.
For the not-so good times, reframe the experience by saying:
"I refuse to be intimidated by reality"
"It could be worse. I could be pregnant"
"What an opportunity for learning and growth"
"Beam me up, Scotty"
Humor Visualization
1. Relax and close your eyes and take a deep breath.
2. Focus on your breath. Imagine it entering a tube that is connected to a large, inflatable clown. With each exhalation your clown gets bigger and bigger. Now, take a closer look at your clown. Notice how large it is. Notice its colors... the makeup. What gender is it? Is it wearing a hat? Does your clown have a name? What is your clown's most interesting feature? Take time to get a clear picture of your clown.
3. Now focus on your breath again. With each breath you take, your clown keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger. In fact, your clown has become as big as a weather balloon, maybe even bigger.
4. Your clown is always with you to help you lighten up your problems. Remember: Nothing, no problem, is too big for this gigantic clown.
5. In a moment, your clown is going to give you some advice on how to lighten up a problem or difficulty you are having. Do not judge your clown's answer. It may not be what you thought your clown would say, but just accept the answer. Just listen.
Ask your clown how you can see some humor in what appears to be a humorless situation. Listen for the answer now.
6. When you have an answer, thank the clown for listening to your problem and showing you how to lighten it up.
Thank yourself for participating in this process and know that whenever you need a lighthearted solution, whenever you are feeling stressed, whenever you feel lost for an answer, just ask your clown. It is as close to you as your breath. All you need to do to contact your clown is to breathe into it.
7. Now, when you are ready, say good-bye to your clown and bring your focus to your breath again. Let it settle to a quiet, even pace.
Laughter Affirmation
I shall get one more bit of laughter in my life today.
I am thankful for the joyous things in my life. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Credit:
- The Healing Power of Humor, Allen Klein
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (from Monty Python)
words and music by Eric Idle
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...
Labels: Happiness in Marriage
