Friday, September 29, 2006

Fight or Flight in Relationship Conflict

Fight or Flight in Relationship Conflict:



"Fight or Flight in Relationship Conflict
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Platinum Quality Author


The fight or flight response is a natural response to danger. Our bodies are created to fight or flee when danger is upon us, such as being attacked by a mountain lion. When faced with this kind of danger, the stress hormones pour into our body, causing some blood to leave our brains and organs and go into our arms and legs. This is vital to us if we are actually being attacked by a mountain lion or a mugger. The problem is that this same response occurs when we become afraid in other situations, such as conflict with a partner."

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Thursday, September 28, 2006

Conflict Resolution: The Privilege of Resolving Relationship Conflict

Conflict Resolution: The Privilege of Resolving Relationship Conflict: "
The Privilege of Resolving Relationship Conflict
By Dr. Margaret Paul


Are you always the one who reaches out to resolve a conflict? Do you feel resentful about this? This article will open you to a whole new way of seeing this!


In a phone session I had with Shelly and Stan, a couple who have been together for six years, they described to me a conflict they had the day before. Stan had become irritated with Shelly and Shelly had responded to his irritation by withdrawing. This was a typical dynamic between them, and the distance would often continue for days until they finally talked about it or until the charged energy just dissipated. Neither was happy with the distance, yet generally both waited for the other to reach out."

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Managing Marital And Relationship Conflict

Managing Marital And Relationship Conflict: "




Managing Marital And Relationship Conflict

Email this article to a friend

Couples who request professional counseling often bring with them to the first session various myths about the nature of conflict and how it should be managed in a serious relationship or marriage. Couples often are surprised that their relationship is in serious trouble since they have had very few “fights” and few outward signs of serious relationship conflict. In the other extreme, some are surprised to learn that when they simply express how angry and frustrated they are at each other that those encounters often damage the relationship further. It is important to note that the frequency of conflicts within a relationship is not usually related to the quality or satisfaction … or the “health” of that relationship. As illustrated by the examples above, a relationship may suffer greatly with little or no outward expressions of conflict and a relationship may suffer greatly with intense and/or frequent expressions of conflict. The manner in which conflict is managed within a relationship is of critical importance.

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Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Relationship Conflict: Healthy or Unhealthy

Relationship Conflict: Healthy or Unhealthy: "
Relationship Conflict:
Healthy or Unhealthy
There is no such thing as a relationship without conflict.

Conflict is a part of life. It exists as a reality of any relationship, and is not necessarily bad. In fact a relationship with no apparent conflict may be unhealthier than one with frequent conflict. Conflicts are critical events that can weaken or strengthen a relationship. Conflicts can be productive, creating deeper understanding, closeness and respect, or they can be destructive, causing resentment, hostility and divorce.
How the conflicts get resolved, not how many occur, is the
critical factor in determining whether a relationship
will be healthy or unhealthy, mutually satisfying or unsatisfying, friendly or unfriendly, deep or shallow, intimate or cold. Conflicts run all the way from minor unimportant differences to critical fights. There are conflicts of needs, wants, preferences, interests, opinions, beliefs and values.

Styles of Conflict Resolution:
Avoiding or denying the existence of a conflict.
Many people prefer to give in rather than struggle through the conflict.
Some people get mad and blame the other person.
Others are competitive and have to win. They use their power and influence to control and get their way.
Some appear to compromise but are subtly manipulative in trying to win more ground.
A few people can control their an"

To read on click on title

Monday, September 25, 2006

What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal?

What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal?: "What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal?

1. Take it seriously.

Myth: “The people who talk about it don't do it.” Studies have found that more than 75% of all completed suicides did things in the few weeks or months prior to their deaths to indicate to others that they were in deep despair. Anyone expressing suicidal feelings needs immediate attention.

Myth: “Anyone who tries to kill himself has got to be crazy.” Perhaps 10% of all suicidal people are psychotic or have delusional beliefs about reality. Most suicidal people suffer from the recognized mental illness of depression; but many depressed people adequately manage their daily affairs. The absence of “craziness” does not mean the absence of suicide risk.

“Those problems weren't enough to commit suicide over,” is often said by people who knew a completed suicide. You cannot assume that because you feel something is not worth being suicidal about, that the person you are with feels the same way. It is not how bad the problem is, but how badly it's hurting the person who has it.
2. Remember: suicidal behavior is a cry for help.

Myth: “If a someone is going to kill himself, nothing can stop him.” The fact that a person is still alive "


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Help yourself when you're feeling suicidal

Help yourself when you're feeling suicidal: "Help Yourself When You’re Feeling Suicidal

The following are some ways to help you cope with suicidal feelings: Tell your therapist, a friend, a family member, or someone else who can help.

Distance yourself from any means of suicide. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can give them to you one day at a time. Remove any dangerous objects or weapons from your home.

Avoid alcohol and other drugs of abuse.

Avoid doing things you're likely to fail at or find difficult until you're feeling better. Know what your present limits are and don't try to go beyond them until you feel better. Set realistic goals for yourself and work at them slowly, one step at a time."


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Teen Suicide | American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

Teen Suicide | American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: "Teen Suicide

No. 10; Updated July 2004

Suicides among young people continue to be a serious problem. Each year in the U.S., thousands of teenagers commit suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15-to-24-year-olds, and the sixth leading cause of death for 5-to-14-year-olds.

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Teenagers experience strong feelings of stress, confusion, self-doubt, pressure to succeed, financial uncertainty, and other fears while growing up. For some teenagers, divorce, the formation of a new family with step-parents and step-siblings, or moving to a new community can be very unsettling and can intensify self-doubts. For some teens, suicide may appear to be a solution to their problems and stress."

Suicide: Read This First

Suicide: Read This First: "if you are thinking about
suicide... read this first

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

I don’t know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you’re reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won’t argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d like to ask you to stay with"

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Panic Attack Help Cure Health Anxiety

Panic Attack Help Cure Health Anxiety: "Dear Friend,

You are not alone with the terrifying problems associated with panic attacks and anxiety... that is for sure!

Millions of people suffer from these debilitating occurrences and symptoms that can damage and effect the quality of your life. If you are having problems with anxiety or panic attacks then you need to realize right now that there are answers!

You do not have to fight this any longer! Does any of these symptoms sound familiar to you:

*

Dizzy Spells
*

Trouble Breathing, Shortness Of Breathe Or A Tightness in your throat
*

A Pounding Heart or Racing Sensation
*

Unwanted thoughts
*

Thoughts of doom
*

Fear something bad is going to happen
*

Trouble Sleeping"

click here to read on

Saturday, September 23, 2006

12 Steps to Forgiveness - Beyondaffairs.com

12 Steps to Forgiveness - Beyondaffairs.com: "12 Steps to Forgiveness

Forgiveness seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us people should pay for their wrongs.

Understanding What Forgiveness Is

Webster’s dictionary defines forgiveness this way: To give up resentment against; stop being angry with; pardon; give up all claim to punish; overlook; cancel a debt.

That’s an awful lot to ask of someone whose spouse has been unfaithful.

Forgiveness is setting a prisoner free. The surprise is, once you have forgiven, you discover that the real prisoner who has been freed is yourself, not the person who has hurt you. You become free of bitterness, and free to enjoy your present and your future.

Forgiveness is a response to an injustice. It is a turning, goodwill, a merciful restraint from pursuing resentment or revenge. Forgiveness is paradoxical, the opposite of what comes naturally because it is human and natural to be resentful and require others to pay a price for their wrongdoing.

Yes, the person who wronged us should pay for the wrong they have committed. They OWE us something. The problem is, there is no price high enough that would pay for this injustice. So we make a decision to cancel their debt anyway. It’s like bankruptcy laws.

In the old days, if you borrowed money and couldn’t repay it, you were thrown into debtor’s"

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Beyondaffairs.com - Should I Stay or Should I Go

Beyondaffairs.com - Should I Stay or Should I Go: "'To give up.
God!
What a bell of freedom that rings within me'
No more wanting to understand what makes you tick
No more wanting to be able to communicate freely
No more waiting for reassurance, for explanation,
...or the words that never come
No more wondering what you are doing
Or who you are with
And then
No more depression
And FINALLY
No more hurting
And all it would take
...is to give you up
But that
...would take too much

- This poem is taken from 'The Monogamy Myth' by Peggy Vaughan, Page 177.

The following article is based on information written by Peggy Vaughan in her outstanding book

'The Monogamy Myth', Chapter Nine -The Marriage/Divorce Dilemma, and is used with permission.

'My Husband's Affair ...' in a chapter titled 'Should I Stay or Should I Go?' outlines from my personal experience my own ambivalence towards my marriage for a long period of time, and the factors that eventually led to my own decision to stay. These factors may also help you in making your own best decision for your future.

There are times in life when we are in-between. We are like Linus in the old Charlie Brown cartoon without our blanket. Our life as we had known it has ended, a door has closed and we cannot go back. The past is the past. Yet the future? What will become of my future? I do not know. My future"

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Marital Infidelity - It's Not About Sex!

Marital Infidelity - It's Not About Sex!: "Marital Infidelity - It's Not About Sex!

One Couple Share Their Story by Anne and Brian Bercht

Brian: After nearly two decades of marriage to a sexy, loving woman - with whom I made love almost nightly – I came home from work one evening and told her I was moving out, leaving her for another woman.

Lucky for me, my wife refused to give up on our marriage, and my “moving out” lasted only two weeks. We are now closer and more committed than ever. She captured my heart twenty-one years ago and still has all of my love and desire."

click on title to read on

Infidelty,unfaithful,infidelity warning signs,internet infidelity,dealing with infidelity

Infidelty,unfaithful,infidelity warning signs,internet infidelity,dealing with infidelity: "Infidelity
Understanding and Healing Infidelity
Infidelity Home
Consequences of Infidelity
Causes of Infidelity
New Crisis of Infidelity
Recovering from Infidelity
Preventing Infidelity

Search the web:
Introduction to Infidelity

Infidelity InformationInfidelity or adultery can have a truly devastating impact on relationships, families and lives. Rather than live in fear of the possibility that your spouse is committing infidelity or remain paralyzed by a betrayal that has taken place, you can educate yourself on infidelity and empower yourself to prevent infidelity from happening, or move on from the experience and heal."

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Surviving Infidelity

Surviving Infidelity: "
Surviving Infidelity

by Donna R. Bellafiore, MSW, LCSW, CADC

Stories of extramarital affairs abound in popular novels, movies, even modern-day history books. Yet partners hurt by infidelity often feel alone, isolated by cultural barriers that forbid them from discussing their experience openly. With no one to talk to, hurt partners can feel overwhelmed with embarrassment, pain and anger."

click on title to read on

Infidelity,emotional infidelity,adultery,signs of infidelity.

Infidelity,emotional infidelity,adultery,signs of infidelity.: "Infidelity
Understanding and Healing Infidelity
Infidelity Home
Consequences of Infidelity
Causes of Infidelity
New Crisis of Infidelity
Recovering from Infidelity
Preventing Infidelity

Search the web:
Recovering from Infidelity

Infidelity RecoveryAs painful as infidelity can be, it can serve as an opportunity to work on and strengthen a relationship. Experts emphasize the importance of couples counseling and the support of loved ones when on the road to recovery from infidelity.

Hatfield (2003) provides the following nine steps for overcoming infidelity:"

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Discovery Health :: When Your Partner Cheats: Healing From Infidelity

Discovery Health :: When Your Partner Cheats: Healing From Infidelity: "When Your Partner Cheats: Healing From Infidelity

By Karen Berney



Few events cause as much turmoil in a marriage as infidelity, which can reduce a marriage to rubble, shattering trust and creating a breeding ground for insecurity, mistrust and resentment."

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Recovering From Infidelity

Recovering From Infidelity: "Recovering from infidelity - Can I ever forgive?

When recovering from infidelity, one of the most difficult questions to deal with is, 'Can I ever forgive my spouse?' You may go back and forth between anger and sadness, or outrage and confusion. At least for a time, you may be unsure of whether you should stay with your spouse. Or should you turn away from this same person who has now hurt you so deeply and betrayed your trust in such a terrible way? But at some point, you will have to face the issue of forgiveness. "

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Steps Essential Following Infidelity

Steps Essential Following Infidelity: "

Steps That Are Essential for Recovery Following Infidelity

© Penny R. Tupy 2002

Infidelity affects nearly 80% of the marriages in the US. Most marriages that are rocked by infidelity do not end due to the affair. If the marriage ends in divorce following an affair it is usually due to the couples’ inability to create a program for recovery. A full recovery addresses many issues but the overall focus is to change the conditions under which the affair occurred in the first place."

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Steps to Recover from an affair/infidelity in marriage

Steps to Recover from an affair/infidelity in marriage: "How to Survive Infidelity

The question I am most frequently asked by visitors to this web site is 'how can I survive my spouse's affair?' After having counseled thousands of couples with hundreds of marital conflicts, I am completely convinced that a spouse's unfaithfulness is the most painful experience that can be inflicted in marriage. Those I've counseled who have had the tragic misfortune of having experienced rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse of their children, and infidelity have consistently reported to me that their spouse's unfaithfulness was their very worst experience. To be convinced of the devastating impact of infidelity, you only need to go through it once."

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violence.resources.html

violence.resources.html: "The following articles describe the Compassion Workshops created by Dr. Steven Stosny.

Successful treatment of domestic violence must restore the sense of father
as protector, for the well being of women, children, and society-at-large. Children
do not need fathers to fight and die for them; they need fathers to live for them,
to value them, and to value what they most value -- their mothers. A father who
truly protects his children cannot possibly hurt their mother.
Steven Stosny, compassionpower.com"

click on title for further information

IAV| Why Marriage Matters, 2nd Ed.

IAV| Why Marriage Matters, 2nd Ed.: "Why Marriage Matters, Second Edition:
Twenty-Six Conclusions from the Social Sciences

Ordering Information

Sixteen of the top scholars on family life have re-issued a joint report on the importance of marriage. First released in 2002, the newly revised edition highlights five new themes in marriage-related research.

Why Marriage Matters, Second Edition: 26 Conclusions from the Social Sciences was produced by a politically diverse and interdisciplinary group of leading family scholars, chaired by W. Bradford Wilcox of the University of Virginia and includes psychologist John Gottman, best selling author of books about marriage and relationships, Linda Waite, coauthor of The Case for Marriage, Norval Glenn and Steven Nock, two of the top family social scientists in the country, William Galston, a Clinton Administration domestic policy advisor, and Judith Wallerstein, author of the national bestseller The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. "

Click on title to read on

divorcepredictor.html

divorcepredictor.html: "

The number one predictor of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict.

And what's sad is the reason we avoid conflict is because we believe it will cause divorce.
It's like the cartoon where the couple explains to the marriage counselor,
'We never talk anymore. We figured out that's when we have all our fights.'"

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Laughter and Humor

Laughter and Humor: "Marriage

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Do you and your spouse laugh together?
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Laughter and Humor
From Sheri & Bob Stritof,
Your Guide to Marriage.
FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now!

One of the great joys of marriage is the time that you, as a couple, spend laughing together and enjoying your sense of humor. Here are the benefits of laughter and humor, and ways to increase laughter in your marriage.

Laughter is a marvelous gift. It releases chemicals in your brain which can enhance your day and reduce your stress.

Additionally, laughter and humor are vital to good health. Laughter is healthy for a marriage, both emotionally and physically.

Benefits of Laughter

* Reduction of stress and tension.

* Stimulation of your immune system.

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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Child Sexual Abuse // National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Child Sexual Abuse // National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: "Child Sexual Abuse
A National Center for PTSD Fact Sheet
Julia Whealin, Ph.D.

Child sexual abuse includes a wide range of sexual behaviors that take place between a child and an older person. These sexual behaviors are intended to erotically arouse the older person, generally without consideration for the reactions or choices of the child and without consideration for the effects of the behavior upon the child. Behaviors that are sexually abusive often involve bodily contact, such as in the case of sexual kissing, touching, fondling of genitals, and oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse. However, behaviors may be sexually abusive even if they don't involve contact, such as in the case of genital exposure ('flashing'), verbal pressure for sex, and sexual exploitation for purposes of prostitution or pornography.
Who are the perpetrators of child sexual abuse?

Legal definitions of what constitutes child sexual abuse usually require that the perpetrator be older than the victim. For example, in some states perpetrators must be at least five years older than their victims for the behavior to be considered child sexual abuse."

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Consequences of Sexual Abuse; Effects of Child Abuse; Symptoms of Child Molestation; Child Sexual Abuse Signs

Consequences of Sexual Abuse; Effects of Child Abuse; Symptoms of Child Molestation; Child Sexual Abuse Signs: "
Consequences of Sexual Abuse; Effects of Child Abuse; Symptoms of Child Molestation; Child Sexual Abuse Signs

Intelligent natural language question-answering in the area of psychology and psychiatry. Ask a simple question Local help Info

Abstract: Sexual abuse can cause psychological, social, sexual and physical problems. Sexual abuse signs can be self harming, anger, nightmares, loss of confidence, sexual problems, denial, re-experiencing.
Go the top of the page Top Forum iconDiscuss this Forum iconAsk an expert Printer Print
Question(s):

Written by: Wendy Moelker, psychologist in charge of Emergis, Goes, the Netherlands and Jacob Palme, professor, Stockholm University.
First version: 22 Jul 2003. Latest revision: 05 Sep 2006.
What are the consequences of sexual abuse? What are the effects of child abuse? What are the symptoms of child molestation?
Answer:

Note that other traumatic events can cause the same symptoms as sexual molestation. Thus, occurence of the symptoms listed below is not proof of sexual molestation.

Depending on the seriousness, the duration and the sort of abuse, some of those who were abused in their childhood, or recently retain certain problems due to this trauma. These can be divided into psychological, social, sexual and physical problems."

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Consequences of Sexual Abuse; Effects of Child Abuse; Symptoms of Child Molestation; Child Sexual Abuse Signs

Consequences of Sexual Abuse; Effects of Child Abuse; Symptoms of Child Molestation; Child Sexual Abuse Signs: "
Consequences of Sexual Abuse; Effects of Child Abuse; Symptoms of Child Molestation; Child Sexual Abuse Signs

Intelligent natural language question-answering in the area of psychology and psychiatry. Ask a simple question Local help Info

Abstract: Sexual abuse can cause psychological, social, sexual and physical problems. Sexual abuse signs can be self harming, anger, nightmares, loss of confidence, sexual problems, denial, re-experiencing.
Go the top of the page Top Forum iconDiscuss this Forum iconAsk an expert Printer Print
Question(s):

Written by: Wendy Moelker, psychologist in charge of Emergis, Goes, the Netherlands and Jacob Palme, professor, Stockholm University.
First version: 22 Jul 2003. Latest revision: 05 Sep 2006.
What are the consequences of sexual abuse? What are the effects of child abuse? What are the symptoms of child molestation?
Answer:

Note that other traumatic events can cause the same symptoms as sexual molestation. Thus, occurence of the symptoms listed below is not proof of sexual molestation.

Depending on the seriousness, the duration and the sort of abuse, some of those who were abused in their childhood, or recently retain certain problems due to this trauma. These can be divided into psychological, social, sexual and physical problems."

Click on title to read more

Monday, September 18, 2006

Functional Families

Functional Families: "FUNCTIONAL FAMILIES

by J. Kent Griffiths, DSW

We always hear about 'disfunctional families.'

But what is a 'functional family?' They often have the following characteristics:

1) It has a balance that can adapt to change (not homeostasis)

2) Emotional problems are seen as existing in the unit with components in each person.

3) Connectedness is maintained across generations with all members of the family.

4) There is a minimum of fusion, and distance is not used to solve problems.

5) Each twosome in the family can deal with all problems that occur between them. Triangulation onto third person to arbitrate or judge is discouraged.

6) Differences are not only tolerated but encouraged.

7) Each person can operate selectively using thinking and emotional systems.

8) There is a keen awareness of what each person gets functionally from himself, and what he gets from others. These are the areas of identification and differentiation.

9) There is an awareness of the emptiness in each member of the family, and each person is allowed to have his own emptiness. There is no attempt made to fill it up.

10) The preservation of a positive emotional climate takes precedence over doing what 'should' be done and what is 'right.'

11) Function in the family is determined by each"

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Maslow's hierarchy of needs at AllExperts

Maslow's hierarchy of needs at AllExperts: "Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a theory in psychology proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper A Theory of Human Motivation, later extended. He formulated a hierarchy of human needs, and his theory contends that as the basic needs are met humans desire higher needs.
Pyramid of needs
Maslowsneeds.png

Diagram of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs is often depicted as a pyramid consisting of five levels: the four lower levels are grouped together as deficency needs, the top level is referred to as being needs. While deficency needs can be met, being needs are a continuing driving force. The basic idea of this hierarchy is that higher needs come into focus only after all needs lower in the pyramid are generally/mostly met. Growth forces result in upward movement on the hierarchy, whereas regressive forces push prepotent needs down in the hierarchy."

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Symptoms of Emotional Abuse

Symptoms of Emotional Abuse: "

'I feel depressed, but my boyfriend/husband doesn't seem to care, and won't help me with it.
Is it possible that my depression is being caused by my relationship?'

Symptoms of
Emotional Abuse



Many women assume that if they're not being physically abused by their partner, then they're not being abused. That's not necessarily true. You may be in a relationship which is draining something from you -- you might not have recognized that your partner has eroded your self-esteem and happiness.




An abusive partner will railroad discussions, so that you don't have time to think about what's right and what's wrong in their behavior.

Take a moment to consider these questions. Your partner might have behaved as though these things were okay, even though it's obvious that they aren't okay...:

Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?

Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?

Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?

Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups?

Does your partner limit your access to work, money or material resources?

Has your partner ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle?

Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and b"

Click on title to read article

Symptoms of Emotional Abuse

Symptoms of Emotional Abuse: "'I feel depressed, but my girlfriend/wife doesn't seem to care, and won't help me with it.
Is it possible that my depression is being caused by my relationship?'

Symptoms of
abuse3.GIF (8392 bytes)





Many men assume that if they're not being physically abused by their partner, then they're not being abused. That's not necessarily true. You may be in a relationship which is draining something from you -- you might not have recognized that your partner is eroding your self-esteem and happiness.


'Marry the man today -- and change his ways tomorrow!'

--Lyric from Broadway musical Guys & Dolls

Our culture excessively, irrationally accepts the 'I'll Change Him' philosophy, where a woman selects and then 'molds' a partner to her liking.

Certainly, equal loving partners may decide to change their physical HABITS to please each other -- but a person should NOT be asked to change their LIFESTYLE, PERSONALITY, HOBBIES, or CAREER CHOICES.

If your partner asks you to be or become a different person, remind them that they originally selected you as yourself. If their preferences have now changed, then they should either attend counseling with you, or admit that the partnership has ended -- so that you will be free to find a new partner who loves you for who you are.

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Nancy's Story

Nancy's Story: " Nancy's Story


An Emotional Abuse Survivor's Story

By Nancy Globus-Goldberg

As someone who suffered abuse throughout a 15-year marriage and beyond, I would like to share what I believe to be some sure signs of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is more insidious than other abuses and just as damaging. Through this type of persecution, my partner attacked my very soul -- using words and mannerisms that caused much pain and suffering. Over time, he systematically eroded my self-confidence and self-worth and created hurt so deep I could no longer bear his presence in my life."

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Dysfucntional Family Patterns--UIUC Counseling Center

Dysfucntional Family Patterns--UIUC Counseling Center: "Understanding Dysfunctional Relationship Patterns in Your Family

Many people hope that once they leave home, they will leave their family and childhood problems behind. However, many find that they experience similar problems, as well as similar feelings and relationship patterns, long after they have left the family environment. Ideally, children grow up in family environments which help them feel worthwhile and valuable. They learn that their feelings and needs are important and can be expressed. Children growing up in such supportive environments are likely to form healthy, open relationships in adulthood."


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New study: Changing roles benefit men and women (Oct 8, 2001)

New study: Changing roles benefit men and women (Oct 8, 2001): "New study: Changing roles benefit men and women

October 8, 2001

by Emily Carlson
Contrary to longstanding theories of gender and psychology, women and men can benefit by taking on more than one traditional social role, such as worker or parent, report two researchers in the October issue of American Psychologist.

In the last 30 years, more women have joined the work force and more men have taken on household tasks. Commonly accepted gender theories suggest that juggling these work and family roles has introduced distress in families, but Janet Hyde, a UW-Madison psychology professor who co-authored the paper, says she's found quite the opposite."


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Roles Children May Assume When Woman Abuse Occurs

Roles Children May Assume When Woman Abuse Occurs: "Roles Children may Assume When Woman Abuse Occurs

In our family, we can adopt or be given 'roles' we willingly or unconsciously play while interacting with others in the family.

Examples of family roles are: the mediator of disputes, the 'baby' of the family, the prized child who can do no wrong, the responsible one on whom everyone relies, or the 'black sheep' who does not fit in and is expected to disappoint the others.

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Roles that develop or are assigned in families characterized by woman abuse reflect the unique ways each person adapts and copes with the secret, confusing, and dangerous situation in which they live."

Options for solving (step)family role and rule conflicts - p. 1 of 2

Options for solving (step)family role and rule conflicts - p. 1 of 2: "
Resolve Stepfamily Role
and Rule Conflicts - p. 1 of 2

By Peter Gerlach, MSW

* home > site overview > directory or site map > Q&A, Solutions article, glossary, or other page > here

The Web address of this article is http://sfhelp.org/09/roles_rules.htm

Click on title to read more

This is one of over 150 articles focused on building high-nurturance family relationships and preventing divorce. This introduction describes the Web site's purpose and the best ways to use its resources. Each article is part of a mosaic of ideas, so the more you read, the more sense they'll all make. These articles augment, vs. replace, other qualified professional help. The '/' in re/marriage and re/divorce notes that it may be a stepparent's first union. 'Co-parents' means both bioparents, or any of the three or more related stepparents and bioparents co-managing a multi-home nuclear stepfamily. Clicking links below will open an informational pop-up or a full window, so turn off your browser's popup blocker."

Functional & Dysfunctional family Roles

Functional & Dysfunctional family Roles: "Family Roles

It is widely acknowledged that the effect that our family and chosen role model's has upon us is fundamental to our individual development.

In a dysfunctional or psychologically unhealthy family we inherit or develop negative roles or defence mechanisms that we can become trapped in. These are often manifested most when under stress or in a crisis situation where our learnt defence mechanisms become effective.

In contrast to functional or healthy families that foster positive development where trust, love and honest, open relationships thrive, dysfunctional families may produce insecurities and stop ‘normal’ development."

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Saturday, September 16, 2006

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: PTSD symptoms, diagnosis and treatment options

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: PTSD symptoms, diagnosis and treatment options: "Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (cont.)

What are the symptoms of PTSD?

In general, post-traumatic stress disorder can be seen as an overwhelming of the body's normal psychological defenses against stress. Thus, after the trauma, there is abnormal function (dysfunction) of the normal defense systems, which results in certain symptoms. The symptoms are produced in three different ways:

1. Re-experiencing the trauma
2. Persistent avoidance
3. Increased arousal"
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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: PTSD symptoms, diagnosis and treatment options

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: PTSD symptoms, diagnosis and treatment options: "
help


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Glossary Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Center | Next

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
(PTSD)
Medical Author: Peter J. Panzarino, Jr. M.D. F.A.P.A.
Medical Editor: Leslie J. Schoenfield, MD, PhD


What is the post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)?

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as such, has been a part of organized psychiatry for only the past twenty years. The concept of PTSD, however, has been well known for over a hundred years under a variety of different names. Certainly, Freud thought that traumatic events experienced as a child, had an effect on an the child's subsequent emotional development. Actually, however,"

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Friday, September 15, 2006

Overcoming Depression and Finding Happiness

Overcoming Depression and Finding Happiness: "Overcoming Depression
and Finding Happiness

By Chuck T. Falcon
Counseling Psychologist, Author

Remember sadness is always temporary. This, too, shall pass.

Can't, If, When, and But never did anything.

Trials give you strength, sorrows give understanding and wisdom.

Depression involves sadness, pessimism, a preoccupation with personal problems, and perhaps feeling sorry for one's self, anguish, crying, and hopelessness. Depressed people often lose interest in many activities and social contacts because of loss of pleasure in and enthusiasm for their usual activities. They may become apathetic or socially withdrawn. Low energy, chronic tiredness, excessive sleeping, and insomnia are common. Other possible symptoms of depression include poor appetite, heavy eating, weight loss or gain, feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness, anxiety, regrets, decreased productivity, poor concentration, or recurrent thoughts of death or suicide. Four out of five cases of severe depression clear up without treatment within six to nine months, but half of the people with severe depression experience it again later."

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Big brothers: impact on little brothers' self-concepts and behaviors Adolescence - Find Articles

Big brothers: impact on little brothers' self-concepts and behaviors Adolescence - Find Articles: "Big brothers: impact on little brothers' self-concepts and behaviors
Adolescence, Winter, 1996 by Sean Turner, Avraham Scherman
Find More Results for: 'negative aspects of divorce '
The effect of parental...
Fault or no fault -...
Fear of abandonment as...
Parental Divorce...


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When a couple with children divorces, the structure of the family is altered, and the process of disorganization and reorganization can continue for several years. However, as with other crises, divorce has the potential for creating growth and new integrations, although reaching this potential is often a difficult task, especially for the children (Wallerstein & Kelly, 1977). Divorce is not a single event, but a series of changes that begins with the dissolution of the marriage and continues to a possibly prolonged disequilibrium within the family. For the child, this change in family structure can create, among other things, a loss in educational opportunities, severe alterations in parent-child relationships, and a lower standard of living (Wallerstein, 1991)."

Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce

Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce: "Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce
--

June 1997

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A. Divorce Effects and Prevalence
B. Effects of Divorce on Children
C. Emotional Stages of Divorce
D. Typical Reactions of Children to Divorce
E. Signs of Stress in Children

Divorce Effects and Prevalence
It may be helpful to understand a little about divorce and the typical effects it has on men, women and children. The divorce rate in the United States is the highest in the world. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Sixty-seven percent of all second marriages end in divorce. As high as these figures are, what is also true is that the divorce rate appears to be dropping."

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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Lovingyou.com: Love Advice: Marriage

Lovingyou.com: Love Advice: Marriage: "7 Secrets of a Successful Marriage
by Jennifer Good

7 Secrets of a Successful Marriage1. Be each other's support system.
You go through many things in a lifetime. It helps to know there is someone to help you shoulder the hard times. When your partner comes to you or needs an encouraging word, give it to them. Your vote of confidence can do wonders for your partner and in turn better your relationship."

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Secrets of Successful Married Life

Secrets of Successful Married Life: "Secrets of Successful Married Life

Successful marriage depends on trust, respect and love for each other. These are three pillars of any successful married life. Apart from these if you couples or singles know the tips to success given below, i am sure, you will not face any problem in your married life.

Preparations

Be with each other.
Provide a refuge and sanctuary for each other from the chill winds of the world. Your marriage is a hearth, from whence comes the peace, harmony, and warmth of soul and spirit. Its like bicycle, where it is necessary for both wheels to work.

Love to be loved.
Warm your loved one's body with your healing touch. Remember that as babies can die with lack of touching, so can marriages wither from lack of closeness. Touch is the best feeling which you can give to anybody, even plants grow faster if you touch them daily and here its you n your beloved. "

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Alice Miller - Child Abuse and Mistreatment

Alice Miller - Child Abuse and Mistreatment



What is it?

Humiliations, spankings and beatings, slaps in the face, betrayal, sexual exploitation, derision, neglect, etc. are all forms of mistreatment, because they injure the integrity and dignity of a child, even if their consequences are not visible right away. However, as adults, most abused children will suffer (and let others suffer) from these injuries

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Monday, September 04, 2006

Codependency & Recovery from codependent relationships

Codependency & Recovery from codependent relationships

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Codependency & Recovery from codependent relationships

Codependency & Recovery from codependent relationships

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Codependency & Recovery from codependent relationships

Codependency & Recovery from codependent relationships

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Codependency & Recovery from codependent relationships

Codependency & Recovery from codependent relationships

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Saturday, September 02, 2006

codependency in relationships

codependency in relationships

Cary Counseling Center Online

Cary Counseling Center Online

Coping With Separation

Coping With Separation

Coping With Separation

Coping With Separation

Marriage Conflict

Marriage Conflict